Forgotten Memories
by UnaVitaSegreta
Summary: One remembers only the bad times. The other tries to remember only the good. The story of a mother and daughter who never seem to be on the same page. EmilyLorelai with a lot of Richard and Rory.
1. Chapter 1

**CHAPTER ONE**

Emily stood in the study looking up at the bookshelf. She was searching for a particular book – _Mrs. Dalloway_ by Virginia Woolf. It was this week's selection for her book club and she knew that she already had a copy of it somewhere.

It would be much easier to find if she were taller. Undoubtedly, the novel was resting on one of the top shelves. She looked around the room, searching for a chair or something to use to reach the higher shelves. She didn't see anything useful. There was an empty flowerpot in the corner. It had been home to a tree yesterday, but it had died from lack of water. Richard never paid attention to those sorts of things. The empty base looked fairly strong. It was made of brass or some type of gilded metal. She could turn it upside-down and it would surely hold her weight.

She did so and stood higher, looking at the titles that she could now see. As she scanned them all, she kept surprising herself with books and titles that she had long forgotten were housed here in the study on these high shelves. She kept making mental notes to herself to come back and take a few of these books to read later. Then, finally she found it. It was at the end of the shelf nearly covered by some of Richard's books about the American presidents. Emily leaned further to the right to reach the book. She could touch it with her fingertips, but she couldn't quite grasp it. If she just stretched her arm a bit further ….

Before she knew what was happening, she felt her ankle twist and her hand seemed to be getting farther and farther away from the book. Her entire body jerked to the right and her other hand reached out to grab onto anything it could find. Her head grazed the bookcase, her arm shielding her face as she fell to the ground. Her body met the ground with a loud thump and the sound of her head banging into the hardwood floor echoed in her ears loudly.

She lay there for a while, unable to move. She tried to open her eyes, but it was too much work. She tried to move her arms or legs, but just the thought was too painful to even bother attempting actual movement. She was left with only her thoughts.

"_Do I look fat, Richard?"_

He turned to look at her, confused. "You're pregnant, Emily."

"_So, I do look fat, then?"_

_He rolled his eyes. "I most certainly did not say that. You look beautiful." He pulled her towards him, kissing her gently. "Absolutely beautiful."_

"Richard," she whispered, still not attempting to move. She took a deep breath and then regretted it instantly as her body reacted with a piercing pain. If Richard were home, he would have heard her fall and he would have come in and helped her. Yet she was the only person in the house and there was thus no one there to hear her. Of course she was between maids at the moment. She'd fired the last one just yesterday.

Emily sighed both in physical pain and in the frustration that she was alone and left to figure out what to do on her own. She had felt that way quite often lately. She wanted desperately to move, to get herself up, and to prove that she didn't need anyone's help. Yet she could barely find the strength to not give in to how tired she felt and just let go. All she could do was lie there and think. And her mind was already telling her what to think about.

"_I hate you! You're the worst mother ever!" _

"_Go to your room, Lorelai! We'll take about this tomorrow when you have calmed down." Emily stood with her back to her daughter. She could tell the girl was fuming without even looking at her, but there was no possibility that she was going to let her fifteen year old child go to a "rave" in New York City. On a school night, nonetheless! _

"_Sissy Bateman thinks that her mother is mean because she won't buy her a car for her sixteenth birthday, but she's nothing compared to you! I wish you were dead! At least it would be easier to live in this damn house without you here!"_

"_Lorelai!" Her father's voice boomed from the doorway. It took both Emily and Lorelai by surprise. "Apologize to your mother this instant!"_

_Lorelai stood defiant. She hated her parents. Both of them. They didn't know anything about her. All they ever tried to do was force their life upon her, even if she didn't want anything to do with it … or them. She let out a perturbed scream, throwing her hands up in the air. "I hate you!" With that, she was up the stairs and out of their sight before either could utter another word._

"_Emily…"_

"Don't, Richard. Just let it go." She had turned away from him, flipping through some magazine. 

"_The way that she spoke to you…"_

"She's fifteen, Richard. It is not as if she hasn't said it before and won't say it all again soon. She'll get over it by the morning and then she'll just go back to ignoring us." 

_Richard didn't understand his wife. Lately, he didn't understand anyone in this household. _

_Emily watched out of the corner of her eye as Richard turned around and went back to his study. When she knew that he was truly gone, she reached up and brushed away the tears that had stained her cheeks. Sniffing away the lump in her throat, she threw the magazine across the room, knocking the items on the coffee table out of order._

Emily groaned, not wanting to relieve the memories of her tumultuous relationship with her daughter. There were too many bad ones and not enough good memories. With Richard, there were certainly a lot of wonderful times. Their marriage had never been perfect, yet it was a happy marriage. They had managed to overcome their difficult times and it was worth the uphill battle to still be together.

Yet Lorelai was a whole other story. With her, the bad always seemed to outweigh the good. From the moment she was born, she was different than her mother. Emily and Lorelai were nothing alike in so many respects. Emily remembered the good times, yet Lorelai never seemed to realize that there had ever been anything good before the bad.

She finally managed to open her eyes. Directly above her was the oak bookcase. It was still in the same condition as it had been before. She was the one who was damaged. She ascertained that she was lying partially on her side. Her right arm was tucked beneath her, but she couldn't bring herself to move to free it. Her legs were also too numb to move. She couldn't really feel anything at this point. She could move her head, but just barely.

Closing her eyes again to take a deep breath, she lifted her head slightly. It was enough to see that there was a pool of blood near her head, yet she couldn't figure out where it had come from. She didn't feel anything bleeding. Then again she didn't feel anything other than pain and even that she couldn't tell where it was coming from – it felt like her entire body was in pain. Her hair was sticky, though, and as she held up her head she realized that the blood must have been coming from her there. It was too tiring. Her head collapsed back onto the floor. She closed her eyes. Even the daylight was too much to handle at this point.

She was lying on a hardwood floor barely conscious and the two most important people in her life were all she could think about. The happiness she'd shared with Richard and the sadness that had always clouded her relationship with her only child. If she didn't make it, she could live with how she had left things with Richard. He would eventually be all right and would know that she had loved him. Yet would Lorelai know the same? Would she know that her mother had loved her, even if she didn't agree with the way her mother had shown her love? Would she ever really know how much she meant and how much she was loved? Emily knew Richard would tell her, but would Lorelai believe him?

She was just too tired to figure it out right now. Thinking required too much work. She'd rest. Then she'd figure out what to do. Emily's eyes slid closed and she drifted out of consciousness.


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER TWO**

Seven o'clock sharp.

Lorelai and Rory stood in front of the door to the Gilmore residence waiting to be let inside. Lorelai rung the doorbell again, wondering why no one was answering. Finally, her father opened the door.

"Wow, Rory, the new maid looks just like Grandpa!"

Richard rolled his eyes, choosing to ignore his daughter's comment. Instead he greeted his granddaughter, commenting on how lovely she looked tonight.

"Thanks, Grandpa. You don't look too bad yourself."

Richard led them into the living room, asking for any drink requests in particular. A martini was requested by Lorelai and a club soda for Rory. The girls sat on the couch as Richard prepared the drinks.

"Where's mom?" Lorelai asked.

"I don't know," Richard commented, walking over to hand Lorelai her drink. "I only got home a few minutes ago myself. She must be around here somewhere."

"Well, I'm sure she'll pop up when we least expect it."

"Yes, I suppose so," Richard agreed.

"Or maybe she is already here and she's hoping we'll talk about her."

"Mom," Rory groaned. "She's a grown woman. Only you would do that."

"So you don't think she would magically appear if I said something like … "

"So, Rory, how are your classes this semester?" Richard asked. Lorelai huffed, unable to finish her idea.

"Very good, Grandpa."

"And how were your exams?" he asked, handing Rory her drink.

"They were pretty good. I got an 'A' on my journalism mid-term and another one in my 16th Century British Poetry class, too. I don't know about the other classes yet."

"That's wonderful, sweetie. You didn't tell me that." Lorelai beamed with pride that her only child had somehow inherited the genius genes. They apparently skipped a generation in this family.

"Well, it's just grades."

"They're not just grades, my dear. In fact, I might just know someone who can give you a sneak peek at your economics exam, if you're interested …."

"You could twist my arm," she countered.

"Great. Follow me," Richard instructed, standing up from his seat. "The exams are in my study." Rory sat her drink down on the table, following after her grandfather.

"Wait … What about me…?" Lorelai called after them. "Yeah, yeah, I'll just wait here, she sighed. "Maybe I'll find mom hiding under the couch…" She started to actually look under the couch, but the portrait hanging in room caught her eyes first. She hated that picture.

* * *

Richard flipped on the light to his study, walking towards his desk. Rory followed close behind him. "I must say that I'm very impressed, Rory. I know this isn't your area of study, but you really have followed the material quite well. You did far better than some of the economics students themselves."

"Well, I have a good teacher," she smiled. Richard retrieved her exam from his briefcase, handing it to her.

As Rory looked over it, Richard's gaze drifted over to the empty flowerpot that was in the middle of the floor near the bookshelf. He pushed his chair aside, to walk around to the other side of the desk and turn it right side up.

The first thing he saw was her red hair. His heart seemed to actually stop beating for a few seconds as he looked down at the sight below. His wife was lying lifelessly on the floor. There was a bit of blood splattered around her head. Not much of it, thankfully, but enough to scare him worse than anything he'd seen before in his life.

"Grandpa, I can't read this comment. What does – " Rory noticed that he wasn't listening to her. She stepped behind him.

"Oh my God!"

"Call an ambulance," Richard instructed. He bent down to touch his wife, to see if she still had a pulse. He was afraid to do so. She had no color and her skin was cold.

"Don't move her!" Rory exclaimed. "You might hurt her worse."

"Just make the call, Rory." His voice was stern, but pained. Richard wasn't about to tell his only granddaughter that he was first checking to see if her grandmother were even alive. His hand shook as he reached out to touch her neck. At first, he couldn't find a pulse. It felt as if he couldn't breathe, but he pressed harder until he finally felt something. He then noticed that she seemed to still be breathing, though not very deeply. "Thank God," he whispered.

Rory hung up the phone. "I'm going to go get Mom and then wait at the gate." Richard heard Rory, but didn't really pay attention to anything she had said. He remained kneeling next to his wife. He was afraid to move her or to even touch her for fear that he would make her worse. He wanted her to open her eyes so badly. He'd do anything to just look into her eyes at this moment.

"Emily... Emily….." he pleaded, hoping that she could hear him. "Can you hear me, Emily?" He got no response. "Please say something, Emmy." Still no response. "The ambulance will be here soon. It will be all right."

He wasn't reassuring her really, but trying to calm himself. He knew that he had to be strong and put together for his girls, but inside he wanted to pull her into his arms and beg her not to leave him. He wanted to tell her that he was nothing without her, but she probably couldn't hear him even if he did say such things.

"Mom..." Richard heard his daughter's distraught voice. He turned his head, seeing Lorelai bending down next to him. "What happened?" she asked.

"I don't know, Lorelai. It appears that she fell."

"But when? We've been here at least half an hour. None of us heard anything."

"I know," he said solemnly. "The last time I spoke to her was this morning. It could have been anytime today." He was silent for a moment. "She doesn't look like she's dressed for dinner."

Lorelai reached her hand out, covering her father's hand. It was probably the closest contact that they'd had in many years. Yet she didn't know what to say to him. And he didn't know what to say to her. So, they just waited in silence.


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER THREE**

Richard rode with her to the hospital. He had hoped that she might awaken and he wanted her to see him there and not some stranger. Yet she didn't awaken during the entire ten-minute ride. The only voices were those of the paramedics giving each other orders and talking to their dispatcher about Emily's condition.

A doctor met them as they rounded a corner into the arrivals area, asking Richard to wait down the hall while he examined Emily. As the man and his crew of nurses whisked Emily away, Lorelai and Rory came rushing down the hall towards Richard. The three of them remained in the hallway, uncertain about what to do next. Rory suggested that they go sit down. It was the only thing she could think of to do.

The girls guided Richard to the waiting area. The hospital was fairly calm for a Friday evening. There were only a few other people sitting there too. They mostly sat in silence. It felt like an eternity before someone finally came out to speak to them.

When the doctor did finally come, Richard was afraid to hear what he had to say. He was afraid of what the man was going to say to him, of what was wrong with his wife. The man didn't look to be at ease or as if he had good news. He had that look that doctors have on their faces when they are about to tell you bad news.

The three Gilmores stood in front of the doctor. Finally Lorelai asked how her mother was doing.

"She's stable, but we are concerned about her condition." There was the "but" that Richard was expecting. "She hasn't regained consciousness yet. She has a concussion, which is from the trauma that she suffered to her head during her fall. Her right arm is broken. The nurse is resetting it now. She seems to have good bones, but it may take a while to heal. She broke her arm in several places. She also broke her ankle. I've asked for a consult from our orthopedic surgeon. The bone in her ankle twisted and nearly broke the skin. We've reset it for now, but I think she's going to need further treatment."

"Can we see her? Richard asked.

"In just a few minutes," he promised them. "There are a few more things that we should discuss. She's badly bruised. It may be disturbing to see her in this condition. She's going to be in pain for quite a while, but all indications say that she's going to be fine. We're a little worried that she hasn't woken up yet; however, we're going to give her more time before we try to wake her up with some medications. Hopefully we won't need to do so, but we do have a neurologist on call should we need a consult. I don't want you to worry too much, but we are going to be keeping a close eye on her for the next few hours at least."

"Can we see her?" Richard asked again. He just wanted to see his wife. He'd worry about the details of her condition afterwards.

"I think that would be a good idea. If you talk to her, it might bring her back." They followed the doctor to where Emily was being treated. The nurse had just finished setting her right arm and was positioning the sling. The doctor opened the door for the Gilmore family.

Richard tried to compose himself at the sight of his wife. Both Lorelai and Rory audibly gasped. Emily had a large dark blue and deep purple patch on the right side of her head. It literally looked like someone had painted her skin. The exposed skin of her arm and shoulder were the same colors. You could barely see her normally pale skin color. She looked so petite and helpless, quite unlike Emily Gilmore. The left side of her body looked to be in perfect condition.

The doctor continued to explain as the three of them looked at Emily in silence. "She fell on her right side, so it took all the impact. The bruising should go down in a few days. She shattered some bones in her wrist. We can't really tell the extent of the damage just by looking at it. For now, we'll have to wait until she wakes up to determine if she'll need surgery. It will depend on how well she can move the wrist and how the bones turn when she moves her hand. Right now, it's the least of our concerns. She really should be awake by now. Yes, she lost a good bit of blood, but not enough to really merit any concern. She has no reason to still be unconscious."

"Do you think she can hear us?" Lorelai asked. Rory stood next to her silently. She couldn't take her eyes off of her grandmother. None of them could.

"Well, we don't know for certain, but I don't think talking to her could hurt. Maybe subconsciously she will recognize your voice."

"Thank you, doctor," Richard reached out to shake the man's hand. It actually felt difficult to take his gaze away from his wife, as if something might happen while he was looking away. The doctor promised to come back soon and check on them again when they had more information.

"So, what do we say to her?" Rory asked. The three of them stood around her bed.

Lorelai couldn't take her eyes off her mother. She had always been such a domineering woman and had such a presence. Lorelai had never seen her mother so powerless and vulnerable. It was odd to see her mother so…. so human.

"I think we should tell her that we love her and that we hope she will wake up soon," Richard suggested. He stood to the right of her bed, reaching his hand out to brush her hair away from her face. His other hand was atop her own, squeezing it gently. Lorelai and Rory stood on the other side of the bed. Lorelai had her arms crossed over her chest and Rory stood rather still. No one knew what to do.

* * *

It was now nearly midnight and Lorelai and Rory were in the cafeteria. Richard was still in Emily's room. The girls had tried to convince him to go get something to eat with them, but he refused to leave until his wife woke-up.

"Why do you think Grandma's not awake yet?" Rory asked, poking at her food. It looked like mashed potatoes, but it didn't taste quite right.

"I don't know, kid. I don't know. Maybe she's just tired."

"We don't know how long she was unconscious. What if something is wrong with her and the doctors just don't know it?"

Lorelai reached across the table and put her hand atop Rory's. "We can't think about that right now. All we can do is wait and hope for the best. My mother is a strong woman. Besides, she still has a lot of reasons left to criticize me. That should be enough to wake her up any time now."

"Mom…"

"Sorry, just trying to lighten the mood." Rory tried to smile. "She'll be fine. And even if she isn't, Dad can buy her the best doctors in the world to make her better."

"I hope so." Rory pushed her tray away. "Come on, let's go back and find Grandpa."

"You go on. I'm going to just make a quick call to Sookie and tell her that I probably won't be at work tomorrow."

"Ok, see you in a few." Lorelai watched as Rory left the table, taking both of their empty trays with her. She took her cell phone out of her purse to call Sookie.

"Talk fast. Davey is taking his bath with Jackson and I only have like two minutes before Jackson pawns the kids off on me to put them to bed."

Lorelai laughed at the craziness that she could hear in the background at Sookie's house. Jackson was yelling something about splashing and she could hear a little boy laughing. "My Mom is in the hospital," she announced.

Sookie was about to yell something to her husband and son when Lorelai spoke. "Honey … is she all right?"

"I don't know. She broke her arm and her ankle and all kinds of stuff."

"What happened?"

"We don't know. Dad and Rory found her."

"Poor Rory. Is she OK?"

"Yeah," Lorelai commented, "she's just worried about my mom."

"What about you?" Sookie asked. She knew that Lorelai's relationship with her mother was not the best, but it had been quite a while since Lorelai had really complained about her mother. They seemed to be doing better lately.

"That's the thing, Sook. I don't know. I don't know what I feel right now. She hasn't woken up yet."

"You do want her to wake up, don't you?" Sookie asked.

"Of course I do," Lorelai answered quickly. "I just … I don't know how I feel about seeing her like that. She's always been so domineering and in control of everything. I guess I just don't know what to think seeing her like that."

Sookie smiled. "That's what people feel when they're worried, Lor. You're just not used to worrying about your mother."

"I guess so," Lorelai conceded.

"Go be with your family," Sookie instructed her. "I've gotta go put the kids to bed anyways. Call me back, OK?" Lorelai promised her that she would.

She snapped her phone shut and dropped it into her purse. Walking back into the ER, she wandered around the corner to her mother's room. She could hear Richard and Rory talking as she approached the door. They both sounded so worried, yet she could tell that they were trying to comfort each other. It made her happy to know that they had such a special relationship. Lorelai was glad that at least Rory could have the relationship with her father that she had never been able to have.

As Lorelai was about to turn the corner into the room, it hit her. Something that she hadn't thought about in a long time. She literally stopped in her tracks.

"_I want to see Mommy!" she protested. Richard tried to calm her down, but nothing he tried had worked. The nanny had finally left for the day. She had spent all day long trying to get Lorelai to stop yelling and crying, but she could do nothing to get the girl to stop. _

_The nanny had apologized profusely to Richard for not being able to keep the child under control, but Richard knew that there was nothing she could do. Lorelai would not be content until she had seen her mother. She was only three years old and Emily was still the most important person in her life. They spent every day together. Emily would be in Lorelai's room when she woke up and she would spend the whole day playing with her and taking her around town while she did her errands. Then Richard would come home from work, but Lorelai had little interest in him. She wanted her mother all to herself. Richard knew that this phase wouldn't last and so he didn't let it bother him. He instead watched in silence as his wife spent most of her attention on their child. _

_Until now, Lorelai had never been away from Emily for more than a day. He thus knew deep down that nothing was going to calm her down except seeing her mother. Emily had forbid him to bring Lorelai to see her. She didn't want her child to see her in the hospital. Lorelai wouldn't understand and it would only upset her more, Emily had reasoned. Yet Richard had no clue what else to do. It was surely upsetting her more not to see her mother and not to know why her mother was gone. He was afraid that seeing the little girl might upset his wife, but he hoped that perhaps it might be just what they both needed._

_So he took her to the hospital, even though it was well past visiting hours. He had tried to explain to Lorelai in the car that Mommy was very sick and that if she was asleep they couldn't wake her up. They would have to be very quiet and they couldn't stay for long. The little girl had readily agreed, willing to do anything to be with her mother. Yet the moment that she saw her mother, she dropped her father's hand and ran to her mother's side. Emily awakened with a jolt, looking from Lorelai to Richard._

"_I'm sorry," he tried to explain, "she hasn't stopped crying all day. The nanny couldn't do a thing with her and neither could I. She only stopped when I promised to bring her to see you."_

_Emily looked at her child who had climbed into the bed next to her mother and was now lying against Emily. "It's all right, Richard." She patted her daughter's head, stroking her long, dark brown hair. "What is this I hear about crying all day and not being good for Cecilia?" _

_Lorelai looked up at her mother, bleary-eyed. "Why are you here? Why can't you come home with me and Daddy?"_

"_You know when you have a tummy ache and you feel really bad?" Lorelai nodded. "That is almost like what Mommy feels, but it is worse. I have to stay here so that they can take care of me like I take care of you when you're sick."_

"_Can't Daddy do that at home?"_

"_No, he can't." Lorelai pouted. "How old are you?" Emily asked._

"_Three, but I'll be four soon!"_

"_Well, four is a very big number. It also means you have a lot of responsibilities. Like, it's your job to take care of your Dad when I'm not home. Now, I know that you aren't four yet, but maybe we can use this as a test …"_

"_I can take care of Dad. It's not hard. He just sits in his study all night."_

_Emily looked up at Richard. She hadn't thought about how this was affecting him. She had been so overcome by her own grief that she hadn't yet thought about him and his pain. He had suffered the same loss. It wasn't a physical loss for him, yet it was still an emotional one. _

"_Can I kiss you and make it better?" Lorelai asked. Emily looked back at her child and smiled. Lorelai leaned forward and kissed her mother on the forehead. "Ok, we can go now," she announced. Emily laughed at her daughter's sudden change of mood as she slid off the bed and her feet hit the floor. Without looking back, Lorelai walked towards her father at the door. Taking his hand, she cheerily said good-bye to her mother and pulled Richard out the door._

Lorelai stood still. She had forgotten about that night. In fact, she remembered very little about her life when she was that young. Why had she been visiting her mother in the hospital? It was surely normal for a child that age to be so dependent on her mother, but why didn't she remember that time at all? All she knew was that she had spent most of her time with the nanny. If that was true, then why was she so attached to her mother?

She had no time to try and understand her memory before Rory saw her standing in the doorway and called after her to come into the room. She had somehow expected Emily to look different – like her old self maybe – yet her mother still looked the same as she had before.


	4. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER FOUR**

"There's been no change," Rory announced as Lorelai reentered the room.

Lorelai glanced at her daughter before looking back at her mother. Emily seemed so unfamiliar to her. The woman lying in the bed looked nothing like her mother. She wasn't wearing fancy clothes and her hair was rather flat. She looked nothing like the cold yet regal Emily Gilmore that Lorelai was used to seeing. There was no expression on her face, only the bruises from her fall. She looked like someone else entirely.

Richard had slipped out of the room for a moment. Lorelai assumed that he was either going to find Joshua or that he just needed a few moments alone. She could still see the look of panic on his face as they had waited on the ambulance. Never before had she seen him so afraid. It hit her then that what her parents had wasn't just a good arrangement for the both of them. It was real and true, the kind of love that you can only have after a lifetime together. It was what she had spent so many years searching for and she had eventually begun to wonder if that kind of love was even possible. She now wondered if perhaps it was something that you couldn't find; perhaps it has to find you instead.

"How are you holding up?" she asked her daughter.

"Ok, I guess." Rory glanced at her grandmother. It was hard to look at her. In her world there were two Emily Gilmores. The first was her Grandma. She was the one who had been such a little part of her childhood but had played a major role in her teenage years. She was the woman who had decorated a room for her sixteen-year-old granddaughter in the Gilmore residence with NSync posters and had thrown her an over-the-top birthday party. That was the Emily Gilmore that had always made her feel special and important.

Then there was the other Emily Gilmore, her mother's mother. That was the Emily Gilmore that had tried to control her life and had driven her too to leave the Gilmore home. She wasn't too fond of the second Emily Gilmore, but she believed deep down that the real Emily Gilmore was the first woman. That was the one that just wanted her family to be together, even if she didn't always make the best choices or say the right things to get what she wanted. That was the Emily Gilmore that loved her and her mother, too, even if she had difficulties expressing it sometimes.

"I just keep thinking about all the things that I didn't get to say to her." Rory slowly reached out to touch her grandmother's hand.

"Hey, you are the light of her life." Rory looked up at her mother. "I look at you and my parents and sometimes I don't know who they are when I see you guys together. It's like they are two completely different people than the man and woman who raised me. If I can see that, then there's no way that my mother didn't know how much you love her."

"I guess so," Rory admitted. She looked up at her mother. It hadn't really hit her until that moment what her mother must be feeling. If she was this upset at the thought of losing her grandmother, then what must her own mother be going through? The two women were not close, but they still shared the mother-daughter connection.

"What about you, Mom? I know you guys aren't on the best terms, but things seem to be better between you two lately. And she is your mother, after all. Are you OK?"

Lorelai sighed, looking down at her mother. "I don't know." She tried to force out a smile. "I don't know what I feel right now."

Richard reentered the room, looking more put together than he had before. "Is there anything we can do for you, Grandpa?" Rory asked. "Like go to the house or anything you can think of?"

He shook his head. "No, just being here is good enough."

* * *

It was getting late and Richard finally convinced Lorelai and Rory to go home. Rory had been less receptive to the idea, but Lorelai had eventually convinced her that there was nothing more they could do for Emily tonight. They'd offered Richard a ride home, but he didn't accept. He couldn't just leave her alone. Deep down, he knew that she was aware of his presence. He couldn't allow himself to think anything else. So, he remained for hours in the chair next to her bed.

"_Emily ….what in the world are you doing?" Richard stood in the doorway of their bedroom. Emily was sitting on the floor with her legs crossed in front of her. He couldn't remember the last time he had seen his wife actually sitting on the floor. She looked very unladylike, but it somehow warmed his heart. There were a lot of books spread out in front of her. She had made quite a mess. _

"_They're giving a few of us from the DAR who have been members for over thirty years some sort of lifetime honor." She wasn't really paying attention to him. Instead she was preoccupied, looking for something in one of the photo albums._

"_That still doesn't explain what you're doing…"_

_Emily sighed. She didn't have time to play games with him this afternoon. "They want a photo of me when I first joined. I'm sure that I have one, but I've no clue where it is. I was eighteen, Richard!" He walked over to where she had the photos albums spread around her, lowering himself down to sit next to her on the floor. _

"_What are you doing?" she asked._

"_Can I not help my wife?"_

_Emily sighed. "You don't know what you're looking for."_

"_I may not have met you for a few more years, but I'm sure that I can recognize a photo of you and a bunch of old women standing in front of a flag." _

"_If you're going to make fun of the DAR…"_

"_I'm sorry," he cut her off. "I just want to spend some time with you. We haven't seen each other very much lately."_

"_Well, if you would come home from work at a decent hour…"she mused._

_He smiled, touching her knee. "I know. I'm sorry."_

_Emily reached to her right and picked up an album. "Here, look through this one first. It's mostly pictures of you and I, but there might be something in there from before we met."_

_He took the album from her, opening it to the first page. She was right. It was full of photos of the two of them. As he scanned the pages, he wondered when these photos had been taken. He remembered most of the events, but he didn't remember that there had been someone there with a camera to capture the moments. _

"_I don't remember this," he said, holding a photo out to her. _

_Emily sighed. She didn't have time to play with him. She had to find that photo. Yet when she turned her head to look at the picture in Richard's hand, she started laughing. "How could you not remember that?" she asked. "It was the most ridiculous day."_

_He thought for a moment. "Oh yes. It was your friend Melinda's twenty-fifth birthday party."_

"_She wanted everyone to wear a costume."_

_Richard brought the photo closer to his eyes, trying to see what he was wearing. "What did I go as?" he asked. It was quite clear that Emily was a cheerleader. But he was partially blocked in the photo by Melinda's fiancé Preston, whom she had strong-armed into dressing as Prince Charming to her Cinderella._

"_You were a football player," Emily reminded him, looking back at her own photo album. "Melinda wanted all the couples to coordinate their costumes."_

"_I can't believe I let you talk me into that."_

"_Me?" Emily looked over at him again, dropping the photos in her hands into her lap. "It was your idea, Richard!" He narrowed his eyes, as if he didn't believe her. "It took you two weeks to convince me try on that silly outfit. Then when I finally did you kept trying to tackle me and we were two hours late to the party."_

_Ah, yes. He remembered that. The short skirt had fallen mid-thigh and the top was rather tight-fitted, too. It made him wish that he had known her in high school._

Richard smiled at the memory from just three weeks ago. It wasn't a special night or anything really worth remembering. It was just one of those routine evenings at home. Yet it was the perfect night. They had sat on the floor in their bedroom for hours. He kept interrupting her every few minutes with another photo. At first she would be annoyed and then she would start laughing at the memory. They never found the photo that they had been looking for. It ended up that Biddy found one in Emily's DAR file.

Richard couldn't look at her lying in front of him for very long. When they were at home, he had no problem watching her sleep. In fact, something about it just made her seem more beautiful and amazing when she was silent and unmoving. Yet now it was too difficult to see her lying there unconscious, knowing she wasn't going to wake up at any second and scold him for just sitting there and doing nothing. It was too hard to not hear her voice or see the sparkle in her eyes. The idea that he might not get his wife back was something that he couldn't bear to think about. She was the most important person in his life, the person that he valued more than anyone else. He had never imagined that she wouldn't be there with him. She was not just his wife, but his best friend.

Richard looked at the clock on the wall. He felt so helpless and useless. If the situation were reversed, Emily would have their entire affairs in order by now. She would have a list and a plan and she would be executing it faithfully. Yet here he was sitting idly in her room with not a clue about what to do next. The only thing he could do was go and find the paper. Maybe that would ease his mind, for a few moments at least.

* * *

Emily opened her eyes. She looked around, confused by her surroundings. She hadn't been in this place in a long time. In fact, she couldn't believe that it still looked the same. After a few moments, she realized that it was impossible. There was no way it could still be here and in the same condition. And why in the world was she lying on the couch? No one ever sat there. It was the most uncomfortable piece of furniture in the whole place.

"It isn't real," she spoke. Emily's head jerked up to see where the voice was coming from. "We're not actually here. This is just your subconscious or whatever they call it now."

Emily smiled at the sound of the familiar voice. She slowly turned around, not knowing if she would indeed see whom she expected. "Sweetie…"

The tall, slender woman smiled. "Hi, Emily."

Emily looked at her best friend in shocked silence. It had been three years since she'd seen her last, since she had died.

"What is this place?" Emily asked.


	5. Chapter 5

**CHAPTER FIVE**

"You don't remember this place? We lived here for four years while we studied at Smith."

"Of course I remember," Emily snapped. "But… they tore this building down a few years after we left. And you're …"

"Dead," Sweetie confirmed with a sigh. "Yeah, I am."

"So … does that mean I am, too?" Emily was afraid of the answer.

"No," Sweetie reassured her. "No, you're not dead."

"Then what is this? Why am I here, Melinda?" Emily didn't usually call her Melinda unless she was in a very serious mood.

"Well, like I said before, you're not actually here." Emily looked confused. "This isn't real. It's just your imagination." Sweetie sat down next to Emily. "You had an accident and now you're sort of … in limbo, I guess. This is all just in your head. I know it sounds crazy."

"Crazy doesn't begin to cover it. This seems so … ridiculous."

Sweetie nodded her head in agreement. "You've always been dramatic, Emily." She didn't dare look at her best friend, knowing that Emily would not be too pleased with that comment. "I know that it makes no sense to you because you like things to be logical, but it's not for me to figure out. I'm just here because you want me to be."

Emily was silent, looking around. How could this not be real? Every detail was perfect. The furniture, the books on the shelves, the pictures on the wall … it all looked just as it had when she lived here so many years ago. "I just don't understand."

"You'll figure it out." Emily looked at her best friend incredulously. She was about to demand more details when Sweetie cut her off. "Come on, we have somewhere to be at two o'clock."

"Where?" she asked.

Sweetie rolled her eyes. "You'll see soon enough." She picked up something from the table. It sounded like keys clinking together. "I'll drive."

"Drive…? Where are we going, Melinda?" Sweetie walked past her, out the door. You could do nothing with Emily without first being asked a series of questions. It felt just like old times.

Emily sighed. She supposed that she had no choice but to follow. None of this made sense. If she was in control, then why did she have no clue what was going on?

* * *

"Any change in Mom's condition?" Lorelai asked, dropping her coat and purse into the chair in the corner.

"No," Richard confirmed. "Joshua examined her this morning. He's ordered some tests. He wants to call in a neurologist."

Lorelai looked up at her father. "Do they think something is wrong with her brain?"

Richard sighed. "I don't know, Lorelai. Joshua said its standard procedure when a patient has head trauma and shows no signs of response to outside stimuli. He also said that we shouldn't worry because it has only been twenty-four hours. So, I don't know what to believe at this point."

Lorelai looked over at her mother. It was still hard to think of Emily Gilmore as helpless. She kept expecting her mother to sit up at any minute and demand to know why she was in such a dark and dull room. Yet her mother didn't wake up and she was still lying there unconscious. And only God knows when or if she'll wake up.

"Do you remember when you took me to the hospital to see Mom?" Lorelai asked. Richard looked up at her. "I don't think I was that old, maybe three or four at the time."

Richard nodded. "It was a few months before your fourth birthday," he confirmed.

"Why was she there?"

Richard repositioned himself in the chair, trying to find a comfortable way to sit there. "What do you remember?" he asked.

"Not much," Lorelai said, taking her purse out of the other chair to sit down. "I remember wanting to see her and I wouldn't stop crying until you promised to take me to her." Richard smiled slightly as the memory of the nanny's exasperated face flashed in his mind. She had looked so relieved and thankful. "Why did I want to see her so badly?"

"You were a little girl. She was your mother and she was suddenly gone. You didn't understand." He sighed heavily. "We didn't tell you anything... So, of course, you didn't understand."

"I thought that mom and I weren't that close when I was a little girl."

Richard looked at her strangely. "Why would you think that?" he asked.

Lorelai looked across the room at her father. "I … I don't know," she stuttered. "I had a nanny and you guys always talk about me and her, not me and Mom."

"That doesn't mean you weren't close to your mother," Richard reminded her. "Cecelia helped your mother. You weren't the easiest child to look after." He suddenly started laughing. "We didn't have a nanny until you were two. That was the first time that your mother left you alone with me. You had just learned how to run. I spent three hours chasing you around the house as you broke various items in each room." He smiled at the memory. "That's when your mother decided that we needed a nanny."

"I don't remember very much from back then."

"It was a long time ago and, besides, you were just a little girl."

"Yeah, but little girls remember being attached to their mother. I don't."

Richard sighed. "I can't help you with that, Lorelai. I spent most of my time at work. I was young and I was trying to make a name for myself. We had an agreement. I worked and your mother took care of you and ran the family."

"Why was she in the hospital?" Lorelai asked again. Richard was silent. He didn't like to think about that time. Emily never spoke about it.

"Your mother was pregnant." Lorelai watched her father, a look of shock on her face. She hadn't expected him to say that. "We lost the child a few months before her due date." He pushed himself up, out of the chair.

"Did I know that she was pregnant?" Lorelai asked as he walked past her.

Richard sighed. "We had talked to you about it, but you didn't really understand any of it."

"Why don't I remember that?" Lorelai asked. She wasn't really asking her father, but herself.

"It was a long time ago. We don't talk about it," he said, standing in the doorway. "Your mother didn't want to talk about it." Lorelai watched as he left the room. She sat there, staring at the doorway as he disappeared down the hall.

* * *

"Will you slow down?!" Emily clutched the side of her seat. "If I'm not dead yet, I don't want to be killed in this car!"

"Calm down, Emmy. You can't die. None of this is real." She was getting tired of having to saying that to Emily. "Besides, asking all those questions made us late. And you know how you hate tardiness."

"Where are we going?" Emily asked again.

"To meet Richard." She said it as if Emily already knew that.

"Richard? He's here?"

"Of course he is. This is all in your head Emily. This is all being controlled by you."

"Will you stop saying that!" she snapped. "I have no clue where we are going! How can I be in control?"

Sweetie glanced over at Emily. The woman was still as dramatic as ever. When she didn't get her way she would always get huffy and pout. That was probably what she missed the most about her best friend. Melinda was the only person who was not fazed by Emily's demanding personality and sometimes-harsh manner. "We're going to meet Richard. We'll be there in a minute. Now, be quiet!"

Emily turned her head to yell at Sweetie and suddenly they were no longer in the car. They were sitting at a table in coffee shop. "What in the world…"

"Don't you recognize the place?" Sweetie asked.

"How could I forget?" Emily looked around. It was the same place. Just like the apartment, every detail was perfect. The wooden tables. The shaky chairs. The sound of the coffee pots and machines. The aroma of freshly brewed coffee. She had spent so many days in this café. She'd spent a lot of evenings here, too. She worked best when there was a lot going on around here and this was the perfect place.

"Look," Sweetie instructed her, waving her hand in front of Emily's face.

Emily looked up at the table next to them. There sat a young, red-haired woman. She had a pile of books on the table in front of her. She was bent over writing in a notebook. Every once in a while the young woman would look away from the notebook and flip through the pages of one of the books in front of her. Then she would return to her writing, feverishly trying to capture every thought. After that, she would drop her pen in frustration before picking it up again and crossing out what she had just written.

"That can't be …"

"It is," Sweetie confirmed. "It's you."

"But how? I'm sitting right here. I can't be sitting over there, too."

Sweetie rolled her eyes. "How many times do I have to tell you, Emily? It's all in your –"

"My imagination, yes, yes, yes, I get it." She kept watching the young woman, the young version of herself. She had forgotten how red her hair was back then. Over the years, she had lightened the color as she aged. She was so thin, too. It made her smile to see herself so young and beautiful again.

The young Emily was wearing black Capri pants, a fitted black shirt, and flat black shoes. The only color was a scarf wrapped around her neck that perfectly complimented her hair color. It hit her that she really had been a strikingly beautiful young woman. No wonder Richard had fallen in love with her.

She reached for her coffee cup but something hit her from behind and she jerked forward. The contents of the cup spilled out and onto her books. She cursed lightly, trying to quickly dry as much as she could with the few napkins that she had when a man suddenly appeared in front of her. He kept apologizing, trying to help her dry the table.

"It's fine, it's fine," she repeated, pushing his hand away. He apologized again and she finally looked up at him. There was something in his eyes that caught her attention. She couldn't take her gaze away from him. It felt like hours yet it was only mere seconds before he turned his head away from hers.

"Richard, we're going to be late!" Emily looked over to where the voice had come from. There was a tall, slender woman standing next to him. She had her coat folded over her arms and looked to be very impatient. He, Richard apparently, apologized to her once again before he was led away by the blonde. Emily watched as he crossed the room. He looked back at her one more time as he held the door open for his companion. And then he was gone. She looked down at her wet notebook and let out a heavy sigh.

Breaking her gaze away from the younger version of herself, Emily looked over at Sweetie. "I didn't think I'd ever see him again ... let alone marry him one day," she reminisced. Watching herself and Richard felt so real. She could still feel all the emotions that she had felt that day. The unfamiliar feeling that washed over her as she looked into his eyes, the ability to completely lose herself in his presence. No man ever before or since had caused her to experience that sort of feeling.

"You miss him," Sweetie commented. "The man that you fell in love with all those years ago..."

Emily nodded in agreement. She looked back at the table and the young version of herself was gone. In fact, the entire place was empty except for the two of them. Sweetie put her coffee cup down on the table. "Let's go. You should rest. We have a big day tomorrow."

Emily sighed, standing up to follow her friend. "What are we doing tomorrow?"

"You'll see."

"Can't you just tell me?"

"Nope." She glanced back at Emily. "Besides, you already know where we're going." Emily groaned, causing Sweetie to smile to herself. She loved to rattle Emily just for the fun of it. She'd been doing it since they were eight years old.


	6. Chapter 6

**CHAPTER SIX**

"How's your Mom?" Sookie asked as Lorelai entered the kitchen at the Inn.

"Still out of it," Lorelai confirmed, walking around the island to see what Sookie was making.

"Then why are you here?" she asked, turning away from her boiling pot.

"I need something to do. It's hard to just sit there and stare at her."

"Have you talked to anyone?" Sookie turned the stove down to simmer and put a lid on the pot, turning towards Lorelai.

"About what?" she asked, picking up an apple and biting into it.

"About how you're feeling …"

"I'm talking now, Sookie."

"That's not what I mean. Have you talked to your Dad or Rory, maybe?"

"Dad and Rory both have good relationships with my mother," she mumbled, as she swallowed a bite of the apple.

"But I'm sure they're scared and worried, too."

Lorelai sighed. She couldn't talk about her mom with either of them. They were all too connected to one another. "I just can't stop thinking about the past." She sat on one of the bar stools. "I never imagined that she might not always be around, you know? All my life she's just been there. We may not talk for weeks or see each other for months, but I always know that she's there. If I really need her or something is really wrong, she'll be there. When I needed the money to pay for Chilton, she gave it to me. Yes she made us come to Friday night dinners, but I knew that I could go to her for the money. I knew that she was there if and when I really needed her."

Sookie stood next to Lorelai. She didn't know what to say in this type of situation. "Have you ever tried just talking to your mother?" Sookie asked. Lorelai looked like she was about to protest. "I know … you guys have a hard time talking. But have you two ever tried just sitting down and not yelling and not screaming and just talking." Lorelai was silent. "I know that she hurt you and that you felt like you were trapped in that house, but you both have a lot of blame and a lot of pain that was caused by the other. I just don't get why you two can't talk to each other."

"It's always the same story, Sookie. I left. I left and I took Rory with me. I kept them out of my life and gave them very little contact with Rory. I broke their hearts and they'll never be able to forget that."

Sookie just couldn't understand the Gilmore family and why they all thought it was so difficult to be a close-knit family. Families hurt each other, but they also forgive each other. "But that changed! That all changed. It changed almost eight years ago when you went to their house to ask them to pay for Chilton. Eight years is a long time to have no progress, Lorelai. You've been back in each other's lives for years … You can't tell me that you don't understand your mother better now and that she doesn't understand you better, too. Yes you guys argue, maybe more than most mothers and daughters, but you're still communicating with each other. That's better than the years that you spent not talking at all except through Rory."

"I don't know, Sookie. Talking just isn't our thing."

"Well, when your mother wakes up, maybe you should make it your 'thing'," she commented, going back to her pot on the stove. "Maybe it's time that the two of you changed. Both of you."

Lorelai sighed. She didn't know what to do or what to think anymore. She just knew that she was worried that it might be too late for her and her mother.

"If she died today," Sookie added, "you'd have regrets." Lorelai looked over at her. "You don't want to have regrets, Lorelai."

"I am sorry to interrupt," came Michel's heavy French accent, "but there is a man here with a big truck full of dirt and he says that he needs somewhere to dump it. I do not deal with this sort of situation… he is dirty and smelly."

"I'll take care of it," Sookie interjected, "go back to the hospital and be with your family." She took Michel's arm, pushing him out of the room and towards the front of the inn with her.

* * *

Rory looked across the room at her grandfather. She wanted to say something to him, something to make things better. Yet there was nothing to be said. There were no words of comfort. No one knew anything. As much as she wanted to, she could not tell him that his wife would be okay.

Rory had never seen fear on her grandfather's face before yesterday. She didn't even know it was an emotion that he'd ever experienced. He was always so strong and put together. She had seen him fall apart a bit when his mother died, but that wasn't fear. That was a sense of sadness and loss. This was fear. This was something that she'd never seen in him before. If he was afraid, then she knew it was bad.

Her grandparents were really the only example that she had of true love. Yes, her parents loved each other but it wasn't quite the same. Their love hadn't lasted. It hadn't been enough to keep them together. She had learned love from her mother and how to love others unconditionally, but she had never learned about the kind of love that lasts a lifetime. She had never seen the kind of love that withstands the test of time until she got to know her grandparents. She had seen them during their good and their bad times. She knew that their marriage wasn't perfect. They fought and they argued and they did things that upset each other at times. She knew that her grandfather took his wife for granted sometimes. And perhaps her grandmother was a bit too dependent on her husband. Yet she also knew that they loved each other deeply and that there was never a better match than the two of them. That was why she was so against their separation. She knew that they were both miserable without each other. They were a pair and pairs weren't meant to be separated.

Rory finally broke the silence. "Grandpa, can I ask you something?"

"Of course," he stated, looking in her direction.

"How did you and Grandma meet?" It was the only thing she could think to ask and it was something that she'd always wondered. Her grandparents were so full of mystery at times. They could both be so prim and proper that she often forgot that they, too, had a past and a history before her and her mother.

Richard smiled. "Well, that's quite a story."

Rory perked up. She somehow knew that nothing had ever been simple or boring in either of her grandparents' lives. "I'd love to hear it, if it wouldn't be too much to ask …."

"Of course not," he smiled. Rory smiled, too, at the look in his eyes. She hadn't seen it since they had found Emily in his study. He almost looked happy. "Well, the first time we met and the first time I saw your grandmother are two different stories."

"You mean like you saw her before you met her?" Rory asked. She was intrigued.

Richard nodded. "I was in a café with Pennilyn. The woman drank more coffee than anyone I've ever met, including your mother, if you can believe that. We were supposed to meet her parents for lunch, but we were quite early. So, we stopped in this little café to waste some time. It wasn't really my type of place. There were people everywhere and it was quite loud inside. But Pennilyn wanted to go inside, so I obliged her. The moment we walked inside, I looked around the room and there is this young woman with bright red hair sitting at a table in the corner. I don't know what drew me to her, but I could see nothing else but her."

"Grandma," Rory smiled.

Richard nodded before continuing. "She was all by herself, but she didn't even seem to notice that there were dozens of other people around. It's like she was lost in her own world."

"What was she doing?" Rory asked.

"Writing a paper or something, I suppose," he guessed. He hadn't paid attention to what she had been doing. He had been too struck by her beauty. "I couldn't stop staring at her the entire time. Pennilyn became agitated because she thought I wasn't paying attention to her."

Rory laughed. "Did she know that you were looking at Grandma?"

"I don't think so. She couldn't see Emily. I don't know exactly what it was, but I'd never been so drawn to another person. It was more than just her beauty." He stopped himself. "Now, I'll admit, your grandmother was a stunning woman. Her hair was much brighter than it is now. She dressed very simply, but there was always one element about her that caught your eye and made you think she was the most beautiful woman in the world."

Rory couldn't help but smile. It was touching to hear her grandfather talking so openly. She wondered if he'd ever told Emily about any of this. Somehow she doubted that he had. He seemed too pensive and thoughtful, like he'd never shared it until now.

"Even as beautiful as she was, there was something else about her." He shook his head. "I can't explain it." He was silent, thinking back to that day so many years ago when Emily literally changed his life.

"So, did you get to talk to Grandma or did you guys just leave?"

Richard chuckled at the memory of spilling Emily's coffee. "Well, I did spill coffee on her before we left."

"You did what?" Rory asked, moving to the edge of her chair. "Grandpa!"

Richard laughed at how young and foolish he had been back then. "Well, it was a bit of an accident. I was throwing away our trash and I bumped into her."

"An accident?" Rory asked suspiciously. She didn't quite believe that it had been entirely by accident.

Richard smirked. "The first word out of her mouth was a curse word and she refused to let me help her clean up the mess," he remembered. Rory smiled. That sounded just like the grandmother that she knew. "Pennilyn was already annoyed, so I only had a moment with your grandmother before Pennilyn practically pulled me out the door." He smiled at the memory of Emily's face as he tried to help her dry her books. "I didn't think I'd ever see her again."

"But you did …" Rory hinted, hoping that her grandfather would continue.

Richard nodded. "I did, but it was many weeks later."

Rory was happy that her grandfather was talking to her about how he'd met Emily. He had been so quiet lately. She was worried about him and she knew that her mother was, too. She was also worried about her mother. Despite their problems, she knew that her mother and grandmother loved each other very deeply. Neither of them would get so upset nor feel so hurt by the other if they didn't care so deeply.

Richard continued, "I was visiting Pennilyn at Smith. She had a class that met one day a week and so I agreed to meet her after the class so she could show me around the campus. I was early and I just started walking about trying to pass the time."

_Richard looked down at his watch. He still had at least an hour until Pennilyn would be out of class. They were going to the Cape this weekend. It had been a surprise for her birthday. His parents owned a home on the island and he thought it would be the perfect excuse to get away for a few days. They needed some time alone together. Lately things had been pretty dull between them. That spark they once had seemed to be missing. Richard knew that Pennilyn was disappointed in their relationship. She always complained that he wasn't devoted enough to her. _

_Yet it was he who felt that way about her. He couldn't be certain, but he started to wonder if there was someone else that she was more interested in. Her friend Stephen was always around her apartment when he would stop by. They both vigorously denied that there was anything more than friendship between them, yet he sensed there was more – even if the two of them didn't realize it. _

_Richard sat down on a bench to rest. He'd been walking around for quite a while now. It was amusing to just sit and watch the happenings at a women's college. There always seemed to be some sort of activity going on. There were young women laughing and chatting with their girlfriends. None of them even seemed to notice him._

_There were two girls across the lawn in what looked to be a heated discussion. Richard watched them for a few minutes. One of them was waving her hands in the air and the other was standing there with her arms crossed. It was amusing to try and imagine what they were saying. They both stopped their conversation abruptly when the door to a nearby building opened and a young red-haired woman approached them. They smiled at her as she politely nodded to them before walking on. Richard lost interest in the two girls. He was focused on the redhead. It couldn't be the same girl…_

_He found himself walking quickly to catch up with her. As he got closer to her, he could tell that she was indeed the same woman. She was dressed in a rather neutral color today. It lightened the effect of the sunlight reflecting off her hair. And she was wearing a skirt, too, which gave Richard a view of her amazingly toned legs. He wondered for a second if she were a dancer. _

_Richard didn't know what to do next. This had to be a sign, to see her again and here of all places. They were just two random strangers. How likely was it that he'd ever see her again after this? He somehow sensed that this would probably be his last chance. It was foolish, but something told him that he'd regret it if he just let her walk off._

_He watched her as her pace slowed down and she took a seat on a bench. She reached into her bag and retrieved a notebook. It was nearly the exact same scene as in the café. She quickly became lost in her own world, flipping through her notes. He watched her from afar. It made no sense that he could be so intrigued by someone that he didn't know and technically hadn't even met. There was just something about her that he couldn't let go of. He'd thought about her for days after their "meeting." He chided himself many times for being so foolish to pine over a woman that he'd never see again. He'd finally convinced himself to stop thinking about her and yet here she was again. He couldn't help but wonder if it was a sign. Or was he just being foolish … again?_

_Richard finally just decided to go for it. What did he have to lose? If he didn't at least make an attempt, he knew that he would regret it. So, he walked over to where she was sitting. It was a rather lame line, but it was all he could think to say. "Do you mind if I sit down?" he asked._

_Emily looked up at him startled and slightly annoyed that someone had bothered her. She was about to make a snide comment when she saw his face. Her heart literally stopped beating for a few seconds as her brain registered that he was the same man. It was exactly like before. They just stared at each other until he finally spoke again. "May I?" he asked, motioning to the empty spot next to her._

"_Of course," she agreed. "As long as you don't plan on spilling anything on me today."_

_Richard was uncertain what to make of her comment, but he caught the sparkle in her eyes and saw that she was smiling. He laughed, relieved. _

"_I can't apologize enough…"_

"_Oh please don't," Emily said, waving her hand in the air. "It was a bad paper. I needed an excuse to have to rewrite it anyways."_

_Richard couldn't avoid looking in her eyes. It was as if he'd met her a million times before and not just once._

_He suddenly realized that he didn't even know her name nor did she know his. "I'm Richard," he added._

_She smiled. She already knew his name. "Emily," she said softly. He loved the sound of her voice._

"_It's nice to meet you, Emily … Or nice to meet you again, I should say." She smiled again. That smile. It caught him every time. _

_They sat silent for a few moments before she suddenly remembered it was nearly time for her next class. She had already been late more than once this semester and the professor wasn't that fond of her. Last week she had vehemently disagreed with his viewpoint on the causes of the French Revolution and she knew that she wasn't in his good graces. It would be foolish to be late today of all days, when he'd told her to come to class with documentation supporting her opinions. "I'm sorry, but I have to go." She stood up and Richard followed her lead, rising to his feet._

_He couldn't just let her go, not after having the luck to run into her again. "Would you have dinner with me?" he asked. He couldn't quite believe himself, asking another woman to dinner when he was here to see Pennilyn. Yet he just couldn't let her go without knowing that he would see her again._

"_I don't usually date men that I've just met," she commented, putting her notebook into her bag._

"_Well, we've technically met before."_

_His heart fluttered as she smiled again and laughed. "I suppose that you're right."_

"_There is a new exhibit opening at the Yale University Art Gallery. It's supposed to be quite an impressive collection."_

"_And when does this exhibit open?" she asked._

"_Next Tuesday," he confirmed._

_Emily nodded. There was just something about this man. She didn't know what it was but she had never felt this way before about a total stranger. It was quite odd. She found herself agreeing to go with him before she knew what she'd done._

"I have no clue why she agreed to go," Richard commented, looking up at his granddaughter.

"Maybe she was as crazy about you as you were about her," Rory suggested, happy to know the story of how her grandparents had met.

"I wouldn't call it love at first sight, but there was something about your Grandmother that I couldn't quite comprehend. I just somehow knew that she was meant to be part of my life."

"That's so sweet," Rory cooed.

Richard's smile faded as he looked over at his wife. "I can't imagine my life without her. It's not been perfect, but she's given me so many wonderful years. So many years that I've taken her for granted," he commented sadly. He wondered why it is that you never realize what you have until you are about to lose it. He shook his head, disappointed to think of all the times that he came home late or stood her up for dinner or a social engagement that she wanted to attend with him.

"She knows that you love her," Rory tried to reassure him.

Richard sighed. "I'm sure she does. I just wish that I'd told her more often what a wonderful wife she is. She does everything for me. I don't think I ever realized how much I depend on her." He stood up, moving next to her to brush his hand against the side of her face.

"You depend on each other," she commented. "You guys are a team," Rory said, moving to stand next to him.

Richard nodded. "I guess we are," he surmised. "I just hope that she wakes up soon."

"Me too," Rory agreed.

Richard looked over at her. He was constantly amazed by his granddaughter and her strength. He had very high expectations of anyone with the Gilmore name yet she always managed to surpass his expectations. He knew that she was worried. She, of everyone, had spent the least amount of time with her grandmother. They had only just begun to get to know each other.

"You know, your grandmother became a different woman the day you came back into our lives. Something happened to her when your mother left. I felt like I'd lost the woman that I once loved. The moment she read that letter, she changed. It was like she was afraid to open herself up and let people in, including me. Our entire relationship changed. It took a while for us to find a new routine. It took a while for her to forgive herself, I guess. I sometimes wonder how we made it through that time." Richard looked at his granddaughter and smiled. "And then came Friday night dinners and I finally saw the woman that I had fallen in love with. She was animated and just … happy. It was all because of you."

"I don't know about that," Rory admitted shyly.

Richard nodded. "You underestimate yourself, Rory. Your grandmother is quite fond of you." He smiled, putting his arm around his granddaughter. "And so am I. You've changed our lives in a way that we never imagined possible."

Rory smiled back at him. "You guys have changed mine, too. I'm glad that I've gotten to know you guys better and be part of your lives these past few years." She took a deep breath. "You know, Grandpa … whatever happens … that won't change."

"I know," he whispered, looking once again at his wife.


	7. Chapter 7

**CHAPTER SEVEN**

_This chapter had been ready for nearly a week now, but the website has refused to let me up load anything until today! Thanks, as always, to Cira._

Rory turned the key and heard the lock click. As she pushed the door open, an odd feeling washed over her. The house was totally silent. There was no one inside. The maid was gone. The cook wasn't needed this week. The gardener had apparently already come and gone. She stood in the foyer listening to the silence. It felt strange and unfamiliar.

She suddenly turned around, thinking that she'd heard her grandmother calling out to her. Rory closed her eyes, realizing that it was only her mind playing games with her in the empty house. It was only a figment of her imagination. She stood in place, taking a deep breath. There was no odor in the air. The house usually smelled of fresh flowers or some other light scent. Yet today there was no sound, no smell, and no sign of activity. The house felt as empty as Rory did herself. There was so much that she didn't yet know about her grandmother. Eight years simply wasn't enough time to get to know and understand a woman like Emily Gilmore.

Rory found herself wandering into the living room. As she looked at her grandmother's usual place on the couch, she couldn't help but think about the past. They had spent countless evenings in this room, talking, laughing, and especially arguing. Yet it was in the dining room where the real action occurred. The living room was just the precursor.

She moved to the dining room, standing behind her usual Friday night seat. Rory could still see the look on Emily's face when she had told her grandparents that she was going to Yale and that it was okay for them to be happy about it. It had never crossed her mind that her grandmother might not be there to see her graduate from Yale. She and Richard both had been there for so much of her life at Yale. Part of her also thought that maybe it made her grandmother happy to know that they'd both fallen in love with Yale men.

There were just so many memories that she didn't have of her grandmother. Yet Rory didn't blame her mother for that. She knew that Lorelai had done what was best for them. There was no doubt about that. She just hated that it meant there were so many years they hadn't been part of each other's lives. Maybe it was for the best. She didn't know either way.

Rory pushed on the kitchen door, looking inside. The countertops were spotless. It looked like they hadn't been touched in ages. She felt an odd sense of peace in this room, the kitchen of all places. It was here that she had made her grandparents a frozen pizza one night during an ice storm. It was here that she had fled to when Straub and Francine had insulted her very being. And it was in here that Emily had specifically made sure that her granddaughter knew neither she nor Richard had ever regretted Rory's existence for even a second. Neither of her father's parents had ever shown an interest in her. Yet Emily had always been there, even forcing her way into Rory's life at times. She might not have always made the right choices, but she was always there.

No, Emily Gilmore wasn't perfect. Rory would be the first to admit that. Yet there was no one else she'd rather have for a grandmother. There was just no one quite like Emily.

* * *

"Her brain activity appears to be normal." Dr. Hart looked up from the chart he was holding in his hands. He shifted his gaze between the husband and the daughter, trying to make them both feel involved. "That's a good sign. It means that she doesn't seem to have any permanent brain damage." 

"So why isn't she awake yet?" Lorelai asked. They were standing in the hallway outside her mother's room.

"We don't have all the answers in medicine. The brain is an organ that we have only begun to understand. Some people wake up immediately. Others take a little while longer."

Lorelai stood with her arms wrapped around herself, alternating between looking down at her shoes and up at the doctor when he spoke to her. "So, how long do you think?"

"I'm sorry, Miss Gilmore, but I can't give you an answer. It could be today or two weeks from today. It could also be two months from now. We don't have timeframes in neurology."

"Thank you, Dr. Hart," Richard interjected, reaching out to shake the doctor's hand. He could tell that his daughter wanted more solid answers. She was going to hassle the man until he gave her an answer, which he didn't have. Dr. Hart nodded, heading back down the hallway to continue his rounds.

"The man probably has degrees from Harvard and Columbia on his wall, yet he can't figure out what is wrong with Mom. How hard can it be, Dad?"

Richard took a deep breath, trying to find the patience to reassure his daughter. "I don't know, Lorelai. We're not doctors."

Lorelai sighed, letting the door to her mother's room swing shut behind them. She took what was becoming her regular seat, a rather uncomfortable chair by the window. It positioned her directly across from her mother. Her gaze circled the room, almost as if something might have changed while they were out in the hallway. It wasn't a very large room, but it was big enough for them to not feel cramped. They were still in the ICU, but Emily had been moved to a more private room this morning. It had a window, which she knew her mother would like. If she were awake, Emily could look out the window and complain about the view of the highway. There was also a small bathroom in the far corner. They no longer had to go down the hallway like they did when they were in the CICU.

Lorelai still couldn't get over watching her mother lying in a hospital bed. It just looked so unnatural. In her mind, Emily Gilmore didn't lie down; she barely even slept!

Richard took his seat next to Emily's bed. There was a bit of glare from the mid-day sun shining through the blinds on the window. It fell on his shoulder, casting across his wife's body. The light only made her red hair look vibrant and full of life. If you didn't know she had been unconscious for days, you'd just think that she was taking a nap. When he leaned back, Richard couldn't really see his wife that clearly, yet it was comforting to just be next to her.

Both Lorelai and Richard watched her for a few moments, as if she might wake up in that instance. She had a piece of medical tape around her left hand that held her IV line in place. The nurse would come in every few hours and place her on a drip so that she could get fluids and nourishment. Her bruising was also less pronounced today.

It had been a full seventy-two hours since they'd brought her in to the hospital. She showed no signs of internal damage or any major trauma. The orthopedist had determined that her wrist wasn't injured enough to need immediate attention and her ankle seemed to be healing nicely. No one knew why she wasn't waking up. The doctors and nurses tried to reassure the family, but they seemed to be getting nowhere with them.

The room was silent except for the constant beep of Emily's heart monitor recording the beat of her heart. It was strong and that at least gave Richard one less thing to worry about.

Lorelai picked up a magazine off the table next to her chair. She tried to flip through it, but nothing in it seemed interesting. None of the articles were worth reading. As she glanced up at her father, he seemed to be staring blankly ahead. Lorelai didn't know where his thoughts were in that moment.

They were silent for quite a while until Richard finally spoke. "I took her to an art gallery on our first date." Richard leaned back in his chair. It wasn't really that comfortable, but he was getting used to it now.

Lorelai looked up at her father. She was surprised by his random comment. "Yeah, Mom told us about it that day we toured Yale with Rory. She said you used to take all the ladies there to impress them with your knowledge of art. I also seem to remember something about you using Titian to score…"

Richard laughed. "It didn't impress all of them – not your mother, at least. She spent the whole date debating with me. If I said the artist was inspired by nature, she thought he had been inspired by religion. If I thought the exhibit captured one thing, she thought it was another. I know she claims that I was the master of the step-back-wrinkle-whatever, but she didn't let me get away with anything. She would wave her hand in the air to silence me." He made a motion with his hand, like Emily had done. "Then she'd tell me what the artist was trying to convey." Richard smiled. "She never once backed down or let me get the last word. It was wonderful."

Lorelai looked at her father. He seemed to love the exact opposite things about her mother than she. He loved her faults and her shortcomings. She, instead, found annoyance in them.

"Do you remember that play I was in when I was in kindergarten?" Lorelai asked. "I think I was four or five. My role was the butterfly. I was supposed to come out from behind the curtain and dance across the stage."

"Yes, you started singing 'I'm A Little Teapot' instead." They both laughed at the memory.

"I think that was the last time that Mom ever told me she was proud of me." Her tone wasn't angry or upset, but sad. Sad about the relationship that they didn't share.

"Your mother is not a master of her emotions, Lorelai. She is very talented at hiding behind a mask. She has been that way since before we met. When she is hurt, she bites back without thinking. When she is sad, she doesn't let anyone know. If she's in pain, she grins and bears it by herself." He shrugged his shoulders. "I think it is how she was raised. She and her mother were not very close either. Her mother was a cold and unappreciative woman. She just wanted Emily to get married and start a family. And I think your mother was caught between her own mother and you. She wanted so desperately to be a perfect mother, yet she had no clue how to do it or how to act around you. So she hid behind herself and pretended that she was okay when she wasn't. She made mistakes, Lorelai. We all made mistakes." He looked over at his daughter. "Your mother's biggest mistake was that she waited to change until it was too late and you were already gone."

"I think that maybe I'm starting to understand what it must have been like for her … after I left." Richard nodded, looking away from his daughter.

Neither of them spoke. They just sat in silence, listening to the beeping of the heart monitor.

* * *

"Why are we back here again?" Emily asked as she and Sweetie walked into the living room of their dorm. 

Sweetie turned around and looked straight at Emily. "Just shut up and wait." Emily had complained the whole morning.

Emily huffed. "You are still as infuriating dead as you were alive."

"This is your imagination, Emily. If you didn't want me here, then I wouldn't be." Sweetie missed her best friend. There was no one in the world quite like Emily.

Emily let herself fall onto the couch, not bothering to notice how uncomfortable it was to sit there. She sighed heavily. "I'd forgotten how much you make me feel like I'm twenty years old again. I miss that feeling."

Sweetie smiled. "You know the best part about being dead?" Emily shook her head. "I get to remember every feeling, every moment, every smile, every bit of happiness from the life that I had. It's wonderful."

Emily smiled. "A lot has happened in my life since you died. I really could have used my best friend."

"Hey … I was there." Sweetie sat down beside her. "That day you got drunk in the living room after Trix died… I was there. When you went to Europe with your granddaughter … I was there, too. As long as you don't forget about me, I'm never far away."

Emily was about to reply when the doorbell rang. She started to stand up. "Don't," Sweetie warned.

"Why not?" Emily asked.

"You'll see…"

Just as Sweetie had said, Emily watched as her younger self walked past them. Her hair was perfect, but her face told another story. It looked as if she had been crying.

"Has she been here the whole time?" Emily asked.

"Shh… Just watch," Sweetie instructed.

Emily sighed, watching as the young woman looked out the window. She shook her head, taking a deep breath when she saw who was outside. It was as if she turned herself into another person. She wiped her eyes and her face became stoic and cold. Opening the door, she held herself high. Her posture was perfect and she didn't allow any emotion to crack her face.

"Richard, I don't want to hear anything that you have to say. Please just leave me alone." She tried to close the door, but he was too strong and managed to stop her. "Please, Richard. I don't want you here."

"Just let me explain, Emily."

"There is nothing to be explained, Richard. Are you or are you not engaged?" He was silent. She shook her head. "I can't believe I bought into anything you've ever told me. I was such a fool. You … you, Richard … you came after me! I was perfectly fine with the life that I was leading. Why couldn't you just leave me alone?"

"I never meant to hurt you."

Emily laughed coldly. "Then you should have told me you were planning a wedding with another woman."

"It's not that simple."

She couldn't take being around him. It hurt too much. "You really should go now."

"Emily, please …" He didn't want it to end like this.

"Are you engaged, Richard? It's a simple question. Yes or no?" She clutched the side of the door in her hand, ready to close it at any second.

"Yes," he finally admitted.

"Then just go." She was trying not to cry but he couldn't tell that by her voice. It was stern and uncaring, a tone he had never heard from her before.

"Emily, I don't want it to be like this between us."

"Are you going to marry her?" Emily asked, looking into his eyes, demanding an answer. He was silent again, diverting his eyes away from her. "Then there is nothing between us." It disgusted her to even look at him. "Just go, Richard," she whispered. He tried to speak, but she refused to let him. "I want you to go now."

"Emily…"

"I swear, Richard, I will scream so loud that everyone in this building will hear me," she warned.

"I'm sorry, Emily. I really do care about you. I'm starting to fall in lo-"

"Don't you dare," she seethed. "You have no right to say that to me! Don't you dare say that!"

"I'm sorry, Emily." He stood unmoving in the doorway. She looked away from him.

"So am I, Richard. So am I." He stepped back and she shut the door. Sliding to her knees, she put her hand over her mouth to stifle the wail that she emitted as her heart broke.

Emily watched her younger self intently. She could still feel the pain that she had felt that day. Never before had she felt such heartache. She had allowed herself to fall completely in love with Richard. Everything had seemed so perfect and then one day it all fell apart. She and Melinda had agreed to meet some friends for dinner. When they arrived, they were introduced to the college roommate of Melinda's boyfriend Preston Nelson, a Mr. Richard Gilmore, and his fiancée Pennilyn Lott.

As she watched herself trying to be strong and pretend that she wasn't hurt, Emily couldn't help but remember all the times that Richard had hurt her. There had been many times in their marriage. The things he said. When he would put his work before her. Yet none of it had hurt like finding out that he had been lying to her about Pennilyn. He'd broken her heart once before where Pennilyn was concerned. It was the kind of pain that she didn't want to experience for a second time.

"He stopped by to see you every day for two months until you finally let him in the apartment again," Sweetie commented, causing Emily to realize that the scene before her was only a memory.

"I think I'll just sit here for a while," she said quietly.

Melinda nodded, knowing Emily's cue to stop talking. She wanted to do something to ease the pain of reliving such tormenting memories for her best friend, but she knew that it was in these moments that Emily wanted to just be left alone. "Whatever you want, Emily."


	8. Chapter 8

_Thanks to all for the comments on the last chapter. I apologize for the longer than usual delay. I am moving in 2-3 months and so my life has been hectic. I have been out of town for a few days, hence the delay in posting the story. Riska - no worries, I have no aspirations for a Pulitzer. However, I would like to make partner in my law firm…, so legal writing is the only type of work that I have any interest in "publishing!" I hope you all will enjoy the new chapter and thanks again for the reviews!_

**CHAPTER EIGHT**

"It has been four days now, Richard, and we've seen no signs of irregular activity from your wife. All of her scans and tests come back positive. There's no reason for her to stay here in the ICU. She's in stable condition. I want to move her to a more private room."

Richard stood in the doorway to Emily's room, looking over his friend's shoulder at his wife. "Joshua, I want you to be honest with me."

"I am, Richard. There is nothing wrong with your wife." He stepped away from Emily, moving towards his friend.

"I don't know what I'll do without her, if …"

Joshua reached out his hand, touching Richard's shoulder. "I know how much she means to you."

Richard looked directly at him. Joshua was one of the few friends that he still had from college. They had been fraternity brothers at Yale. He somehow felt not quite as old when he was around Joshua. He could still see the young man that he had roomed with and the crazy stunts that they had pulled on rival fraternities. "Ever since that day," he sighed, "I haven't been able to picture my life without her."

Joshua smiled. He knew exactly what Richard was referring to. He had been next to him when Emily walked into the room. They were standing in a group with a few other people talking about the pranks they had pulled when they were undergraduates. Joshua had looked over at his friend, who was suddenly quite silent. James McWharton was telling a story about stealing the prized mascot from some Delta Theta Phi boys. Yet Richard was not paying attention to a word James had said. Joshua followed Richard's gaze straight to Emily. She had just walked in the door with a friend and something her friend said had caused her to laugh. The way that she shook her head and smiled intrigued even Joshua. Though he was more than happily engaged to his own Maria, he understood why his friend was awestruck by the redhead across the room.

"For weeks, Richard, you didn't shut up. You had been talking about her hair and her eyes and her smile. I thought you were a fool. You were engaged to the greatest girl. Pennilyn was a catch for any man. I couldn't understand why you would end your engagement for some girl that wouldn't talk to you except through her roommate or a closed door." Richard laughed along with Joshua. "Then I saw her walk into that fraternity party and I figured it out."

"The blue dress," Richard commented. He could still see her in his mind. It was not really that spectacular of a dress, if it had been worn by anyone else. Yet on Emily it fit her body as if it had been made for her and only her. The way that her hair hung at her shoulders gave her an air of refined confidence. And the smile on her face completed the look. She was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. It was in that moment that everything became clear and he knew exactly what he wanted. He never again doubted ending his relationship with Pennilyn. He just knew then and there that he would somehow win Emily back and marry her one day.

"I knew right then that this woman was going to become a big part of all of our lives," Joshua commented with a smile. "And she did indeed."

"She's been a part of my life for over forty years. I don't think I know who I am without her. I just … I wish I'd had the chance to tell her so many things."

"She isn't gone, Richard. You just have to give her time. Your Emily is in there somewhere and I'm sure that she's trying as hard as she can to come back to you."

"I hope so."

Joshua eyed his friend. "Are you going to be all right? I have to finish my rounds, but I could come back afterwards. Maybe we can go down to the cafeteria and get some dinner."

"No, no, I'll be fine. I'm just going to sit here with her for a while."

Joshua nodded. "Let me know if you need anything."

"I will." Richard took his seat next to his wife. The heart rate on her monitor was still the same, monotonous pattern as before. Richard called out after his friend, "Hey … Thanks." He smiled weakly, grateful that Joshua had stopped by.

Joshua smiled. "I've grown pretty fond of her myself." He left the room, making a mental note to stop by his office and call Maria.

* * *

"Spring in New Haven … I'd forgotten how much I love this place," Sweetie sighed, happily walking along the row of trees lining Yale University. It was a perfect day. "The smell of the trees, the sound of the wind, the birds chirping, the feeling of spring in the air…"

"It is quite nice this time of the year after the snow has finally melted," Emily agreed. The sun was out, but there was a slight breeze in the air. Not enough to make you shiver, but light enough that Melinda's long hair blew in the wind.

Melinda closed her eyes for a moment, picturing a shiny white scene in her mind. "Snow…" she smiled. "I miss that, too."

"You've missed everything we've seen or heard this morning," Emily reminded her.

"I guess you just don't realize how much you take the little things for granted when you're alive." They stopped walking as they approached an area of landscaping. "Well…?" Sweetie held out her arms, expecting Emily to figure out where they were.

"Well what …? It's a bench, Sweetie …"

"Emily! This place … come on!"

Emily looked around. A smile soon appeared on her lips. "Richard and I were just here a few months ago for Parents Weekend. We passed by the trashcan on our way back to the car. It's not here… but the bench is …"

"Of course it's here. They didn't remove the bench until 2000. And the trashcan won't be there until a year or two after that."

As they stood by the bench, a young man and woman appeared in their line of sight. They could tell that the couple was arguing as they approached. It was quite clear that it was she and Richard arguing. The two of them walked passed Emily and Sweetie. Emily watched herself animatedly roll her eyes at her future husband and take a seat on the bench, turning her body away from him as he tried to reason with her.

"I loved arguing with him," Emily commented. "He always made me feel like such an intelligent woman." Emily smiled, watching the younger versions of herself and Richard.

"You are a spineless jellyfish, Richard Gilmore!" She crossed her arms over her chest.

"What?" He looked at her incredulously. "You're being ridiculous. I can't talk to you when you're like this." He would repeat that line many times in the next forty years.

She refused to look at him. "You can't commit to anything, Richard! I've been trying to figure out your holiday plans for a month now and yet you give me no indications of where you are going to be! My mother likes routines and schedules, Richard. I'd like to see you sometime during the next month … yet I have to know _when_ that will be. I cannot just go off and meet some man for lunch."

"I'm not just some man, Emily. Why can't you just tell your mother that you're meeting me?"

Emily sighed. "If I tell my mother that I am dating someone, she will have the entire wedding planned before I've even gone on the first date."

"Well, we're far past our first date by now. So just tell her that you're going to meet friends, then."

"My mother can smell a lie before you even think of lying to her," she countered. "And you're trying to change the subject." She was not going to let him off the hook; she wanted a solid answer. "Why can't you just give me a timeframe?"

Richard sighed, frustrated by her persistence. "I don't know my plans, Emily. I've told you that already."

Emily groaned, looking down at her watch. "I have to leave in five minutes, Richard. Melinda and Gwendolyn are coming to pick me so that we can go back to school. I should go wait for them." She didn't move, but remained seated.

"I won't give you a definite answer … That makes me a spineless jellyfish?" he asked.

"Yes." She spoke no further, refusing to explain herself.

"I've told you this before. I don't know what my plans for the holidays entail."

Emily groaned, about to get up and walk away from him. She was tired of hearing the same response over and over again. Richard looked over at her. Her posture was rather rigid, a sign that she was not happy with him. When she was angry, she always sat up straight and turned slightly away from him so that he couldn't see her face clearly. Richard knew that he couldn't just let her leave like this. He had hoped to have some quiet, peaceful time before she left. Yet she had spent the whole weekend arguing with him about holiday plans and he could never find the perfect moment, as he'd hoped. She really could be quite an infuriating woman.

Richard reached into his coat pocket, grasping its contents in his hand. "Here!" he stated, rather annoyed as he flung the small black box into her lap.

Emily looked down, picking the box up. She popped it open and before Richard could say a word she had snapped it shut again, showing no emotion whatsoever. "Fine." Even her voice conveyed no emotion.

Richard could only stare at her incredulously as she reached down and picked up her bag, keeping the box in her hand the whole time as she started to walk away from him.

He called out to her and she turned back around, still no emotion on her face. "You do know what that is, right?" he asked.

"Yes, I'm quite aware of it."

"Oh." He didn't know what to say now. Were they engaged? It wasn't really clear.

"I'm going to go tell Melinda and Gwendolyn to return to Smith without me. You can drive me back in the morning." With those words, she walked off, leaving him to smile happily to himself as he waited for her to return.

Just as she had said, Emily returned a bit later. Richard was sitting on the bench, lost in his own thoughts. He looked up as Emily held the box out to him. "Ask me properly," she stated. Richard took the ring box from her hand. "I'd like to have a better story than this to tell my mother. Hopie will find it cute. Mother and Father won't."

Richard looked at her in silence. She was smiling her beautiful smile that always melted his heart. When she did that, he couldn't deny her anything. He took the ring box from her and reaching out to take her hand, he knelt down before her. "Well, this isn't exactly where or how I had imagined this happening, but …." Richard smiled up at her, squeezing her hand before he began. "From the first moment that I saw you, I wanted you in my life. I may have ruined a perfectly good blouse, but I had no other choice or you would never have even noticed me." Emily smiled, remembering how annoyed she had been to have coffee spilled on her by some stranger. "I know that it hasn't always been easy between us," he admitted. "And I know that I've hurt you and disappointed you sometimes. Yet I also know that you make me a better man."

He didn't break their gaze as he looked up at her smiling face. "You make me believe that I can do anything as long as I have you by my side. My entire future was planned out before I ever met you. I thought that was what I wanted and that it would make me happy. I now see how blind and foolish I was. You came along and changed my whole life. You're the one, Emily. Good and bad, thick and thin, you're the one that I want there with me for the rest of my life."

She sniffed, wiping her nose with the back of her free hand. "Can I say something?" she asked. Richard nodded. "While we're being open with each other, I have to say that my life was pretty empty before you came along. I always thought that I'd find a suitable man and get married and live the type of life that my parents have. I know they love each other, but I don't think they've ever been in love with each other. So, to have met someone that I truly love and can't picture my life without … well, it's not what I expected for my life." Emily touched his cheek with her free hand. "I would love nothing more than to marry you, Richard Gilmore."

Richard smiled up at her. "I haven't officially asked you yet…"

"Oh, ok," she giggled, nervously waiting for him to formally ask her. It wasn't often that she was so open and heartfelt. With Richard, she somehow didn't feel the need to always express her love. It was as if the two of them were already so connected that words did not always need to be spoken to know what the other was feeling.

He opened the box, taking the ring out. "Will you marry me, Emily?"

Emily smiled, looking down at Richard as he knelt before her. "Of course I will."

Richard pushed himself up, pulling her into his arms. He kissed her passionately, his lips moving to her neck before she pushed him back. She was not one to cry, but she couldn't help the tears that clouded her eyes. "This is why you wouldn't make any plans with me?"

"I wanted to take you home to meet my parents, but I couldn't tell you that until after we were engaged." She rested her forehead against his chin.

"You gave me no indications that you were planning this…"

"That's the point of a surprise," he stated, pulling back to kiss her nose.

"The ring …" she hinted, looking down at the box in his hand.

"I'm sorry, dear," he laughed, grasping her hand in his as he slid the ring onto her finger, brining her hand up as he brushed his lips over it.

"It's perfect," she smiled.

"You're perfect." Richard pulled her back into his arms, not letting go of her.

The two of them remained in their embrace as Emily and Sweetie watched their exchange. "I never told my mother the whole story of our engagement," Emily commented, looking over at Sweetie as the young couple before them disappeared. "She would have been horrified."

Sweetie laughed. "Your mother was unique."

"That's not quite the word I would use." She reached up, pushing her hair behind her ear as the wind blew across the campus.

"She was a product of her generation. All she wanted was for you to find a good man to marry. And you did, so all was well."

Emily nodded. "She did love Richard." Both of her parents had loved Richard. They had been crazy about him from the moment she introduced them. Too bad his parents never felt the same way about her, though she always thought that Charles was fonder of her than he'd ever let on.

"You're not her, Emily." She looked over at Sweetie. "You're not your mother, Emily. You're not like her." Sweetie knew that being like her mother was Emily's biggest fear. It had taken Richard a few years to even convince her to start a family. She didn't want to raise children that would hate being around her, but all she had was the example of her own childhood. Yet in the end, she made the same mistakes as her mother.

Emily sighed. "I tried to marry my daughter off to the first man that came along. I pushed her away and kept pushing until she wasn't there to push anymore. I criticize everything she does, never telling her how proud I am of the life that she's built. She hates being around me. Do you know that I don't even remember the last time that I told my daughter that I love her? And I definitely don't remember the last time she spoke those words to me." Emily closed her eyes, shaking her head in defeat. "I'm exactly like my mother."

"All you have ever wanted is what is best for Lorelai. Maybe you weren't always right, but your heart was always in the right place. And she doesn't hate you. She does not always understand why you act the way that you do, but she doesn't hate you, Emily."

Emily looked down at her hands. There was a slight breeze in the air and she ran her hand across the Goosebumps that had formed on her arm. "Did I ever tell you that I was jealous of you and Paul? Sweetie looked at her with a funny expression. "I know he was a son and not a daughter, but he adored you. When you died, he fell apart. He spent weeks walking around like he'd lost his heart and soul. Even now, he's still not the same. He looks as if he's about to cry every time that he sees me at the club or around Hartford. Sometimes I go out of my way to avoid him because I can't bear to see that look in his eyes, as if he's hoping that being around me will somehow make him feel closer to you." She looked out at the perfectly manicured trees, subconsciously twisting her wedding band. "I think if I died right now Lorelai wouldn't even cry at my funeral. She would be there for her father and Rory, but she would be just fine without me. Her life would go on as it always does. She wouldn't even notice if I weren't around anymore."

Sweetie shook her head. "You have no idea how wrong you are, Emily. No idea at all."

* * *

"It's here somewhere," Rory said, lifting a few books off her grandfather's desk.

"Well, we haven't found it yet."

Rory looked up at her in frustration. "I know it's here, Mom. He keeps all his Yale stuff here."

They looked around Richard's office. It wasn't a big office, but it was decent enough for a man who taught one economics class a semester in addition to having his own business to run.

"It is not here, Rory." Lorelai looked between some books on a shelf, flipping through Richard's files.

"Yes, it is! Just keep looking."

"How am I supposed to look for something when I don't know what it looks like?" She turned, looking over at Rory, who was now going through the drawers of Richard's desk.

"I told you, Mom. Blue notebook. It says Yale on the front. It's thin."

Lorelai bent down, opening a cabinet.

"_Lorelai, what in the world are you doing in here?" Emily asked. She bent down to kneel in front of her daughter. Lorelai was seated in Emily's closet underneath the bottom row of clothing. Her pants were pushed to the side so that the little girl had room to hide. She had thought that her hiding place was a good spot. No one was supposed to find her in here. She remained silent, hoping that her mother might forget about her. Yet, she didn't. _

"_Lorelai …" _

_She reluctantly pushed the clothes to the side, revealing herself to her mother. There was a frown on Lorelai's face and she quickly crossed her arms in defiance. _

"_I don't wanna see Gran." _

_Emily looked at her daughter, wishing that she had a camera to capture how adorable she looked sitting there beneath the rows of clothes with such a deep frown on her face. "Why not?" she asked, trying to coax an answer out of her. _

"_She said I look like a gypsy."_

"_Lorelai, do you know what a gypsy is?" Emily asked. Her daughter was only five years old._

"_No, but it didn't sound nice." She looked up at her mother, her big eyes full of tears. "I don't wanna see her."_

_In that moment, Emily was willing to do anything to keep those tears from falling. "Okay," she soothed, reaching for her child. She pulled Lorelai into her lap. "If you don't want to see Gran, then you don't have to."_

"_Won't Daddy make me say good-bye to her?" The little still girl looked as if she were about to cry. _

"_Not if Daddy doesn't find us..." Lorelai smiled, looking up at her mother. "Stand up," Emily instructed her. Lorelai pushed herself up and Emily managed to get to her feet. "Come on." She held out her hand to the little girl. _

"_Where are we going?"_

"_You'll see." They walked out of the closet and Emily put her finger over her lips. Lorelai did the same, smiling as if she were doing something forbidden. They snuck down the back stairs to the basement. Lorelai looked in amazement at all the stuff as her mother held her hand, helping her down the steep staircase. She had never been in this room before. It was really big and she stood in the middle of the room, looking around. _

_Emily walked to a shelf and came back to her daughter with a box in her hands. "Have you ever played Monopoly?" Lorelai shook her head. "Well, I suppose that now is a good time to learn." _

_They sat down on the floor, spilling the contents of the game in front of them. _

"Mom? Mom! Did you find it?"

Lorelai looked at her daughter. "Huh?" She blinked a few times. "No, no, I didn't find it. False alarm."

Rory stopped looking through Richard's papers. "Are you OK, Mom?"

Lorelai pushed herself off the floor, leaning against the bookcase. "I've been having these flashbacks about my Mom. Stuff that I didn't remembered before. I mean, it all happened but I somehow forgot about it."

"Like what?" Rory asked.

"Like the time when my grandmother came to visit and my mother hid out with me in the basement and played Monopoly with me until Gran left."

"That doesn't sound like Grandma."

"No, it doesn't," she agreed. "I didn't realize how much I'd forgotten about her."

"What do you mean?" Rory wanted her mother to talk it out, to figure it out on her own.

"I don't know. I guess I somehow forgot that there used to be some good times, too. It wasn't always bad. I didn't always hate her."

"You don't hate, Grandma."

"No," she agreed. "I just had to convince myself that I did to justify leaving. I forgot all about the good times that we had."


	9. Chapter 9

_Once again, sorry about the delay in getting out this chapter. I am leaving my job at the end of May and moving to a new town (and there are currently four places that I could be sent, so it's crazy right now), thus it may be even longer than usual before I finish Chapter Ten. Thanks for all the compliments. They mean a lot and I really appreciate them. I also have to thank Cira for her idea that really enhanced this chapter. She suggested a certain Lorelai memory that really is perfect, so many thanks to her. Enjoy and I will try to get to the next chapter posted as soon as I can! (I'd image it will be mid-May.)_

**CHAPTER NINE**

Emily awakened with a jolt. It had been very dark in the room and now suddenly there was a bright light in the corner. She blinked a few times, adjusting her eyes to the light, as she looked around for Sweetie. There was no sign of her. Emily was alone, sitting on the window seal of her bedroom at home. This was home, her real "home." The sight of the place made her smile. It had been so long since she'd been back here. Her bedroom was a girl's paradise. It was decorated in all white. Every inch of it was her personality when she had been twelve years old. Over the years she had changed nothing. She had grown up in this room. She had become a young woman in this room. It was this room that she had left behind to go to college and then once again to live with Richard.

She stood up, walking to the dressing table in the corner. All of her things were still there. Her monogrammed stationary that she had nothing to do with once she changed her name, the photos of she and her sister as young children, a few of her school notebooks, various letters of correspondence with old friends, it was all there just as she remembered it. It looked as if she had only been in the room moments before … not over forty ago. Emily reached down to pick up a card on the table. It was a wedding invitation. Both her and Richard's names were engraved in a flowing script and the details of their upcoming ceremony followed in smaller print. She ran her fingers across the elegant card stock, feeling her heart beat just a bit faster as she thought of their wedding day. Looking around the room, Emily saw no signs of herself anywhere in the room or nearby. It was empty. As she held the invitation in her hands, she turned around slowly. The room looked exactly as she had remembered it in her mind. She felt safe here, happy here. There were very few bad memories attached to this room. She looked up at the fleur de lis pattern that lined the top of the walls. It was a beautiful room. There was a full length mirror in the corner near her bathroom door and as she looked over at her reflection, she was surprised to see a sixty year old woman staring back at her and not the young girl that she felt inside her heart.

Stepping forward, Emily put the wedding invitation back onto the table. She walked towards the door, opening it tentatively. When she found no one in the hallway she stepped outside. As she walked down the hall she felt like a little girl again. The family portraits that hung the walls and the regal design of the upstairs living space reminded her of her childhood. As she had grown into a teenager, she had realized how cold the house was yet as a child she had felt safe and secure here.

Emily walked past Hope's room, peering inside the open door. The room was empty. Hope's bed covers were thrown to the side, but she wasn't in the room. Emily continued walking down the hall. She peered into the open door of her parents' room and was surprised by what she saw. Standing in the doorway, she looked at her parents sleeping peacefully. She hadn't seen either of them in many years. Her father had died when she was a in her forties and her mother before that.

As Emily stood in the doorway, she watched her parents for what seemed like an eternity. She had never really just looked at them before. Her father was always rushing off to some business meeting and her mother was either talking about an upcoming social function, chiding Emily for not getting married early enough, and after her wedding for not having children sooner or not having more children. Never before had she just stood there and saw her parents for who they were, just two people who married out of social obligation and learned to love each other over their fifty years together. She never saw passion in her parents' relationship – not like she had always felt in her own marriage – but she had learned love and compassion from them. She had learned the most important qualities from their own type of love.

Emily was shaken from her thoughts as she heard a sound down the hallway. She was at first startled, yet her apprehension wore off when she instantly recognized the noise. It sounded like giggling. More specifically, like the sound of her sister's laughter. It was a sound that she would recognize anywhere. She reluctantly walked away from her parents' door, proceeding down the hallway as she followed the sound of her Hope's laughter lightly echoing down the hall. As she turned the corner, Emily saw her sister in the sun room. Emily stepped forward to look inside the room. As she did so, Hope moved towards the windows that lined the southern side of the house. She had forgotten how much she and her sister looked alike when they were in their twenties. They didn't share the same hair color, but they had the same features and the same mannerisms. Over the years they had grown apart as Hope moved to France with her husband and began a family of her own, yet their unique bond had never died. Even if they didn't see each other for years at a time, it always felt like just a few days or even hours since they had last been together. And the hours that they had spent on the phone or writing letters to each other were incalculable.

Hope heard a noise behind her and turned around. Emily followed her sister's gaze. She stood still, watching as her younger self emerged from the closet. She drew in a deep breath at the sight of herself in her wedding gown. The memories that it brought back overwhelmed her and she felt tears filling her eyes as she looked across the room at herself. She could still feel every emotion that she had felt at that age as she prepared to marry Richard. Her own nervousness at marrying a man that she felt so passionately and intensely in love with. Never before had she experienced that type of emotion or desire for any other human being. No one had ever awakened a true and real well of deep emotion within her. She did not just love him; she loved him with her whole being. He was already such an inextricable part of her life that it sometimes frightened her to realize just how much this man had become a part of her heart and soul. And she knew that he too felt the same intense emotions for her. There was also the sense of overwhelming happiness that she had found a man that truly loved her and not her social status or her family's wealth. Yet a tiny portion of her could not just push aside that foreboding sense of fear and apprehension that she felt about assuming the role of wife and ultimately mother that her marriage represented. However, ultimately, she felt an overarching sense of safety and security that she had always felt when she thought of Richard and their future together. She knew that her life with Richard would not be idyllic or serene, yet she truly didn't want that. What she wanted was what she already had: a future of unpredicted passion, filled with a love that would last beyond her own lifetime.

The young Emily stepped forward, slowly and elegantly. She walked in front of the floor-length mirror that was propped up in the corner of the room. It was there for her final fitting in the morning. She would put on the dress with her mother and Hope and they would make note of any final alterations or adjustments to be made before the evening's ceremony. As she lifted her head up, she gazed at herself in the mirror. Her long, white gown grazed the floor perfectly. The gown lay flat on her shoulders and became more fitted at the waist. It was modest and elegant yet it highlighted her small frame and thin waist. The bodice was accented with a lace pattern and the dress itself puffed out at the bottom as if she were floating. She held the tiara in her left hand, down at her side. As Emily watched herself in the mirror, astounded by her own appearance, Hope came up behind her. Taking the tiara from her sister, Hope placed it on Emily's head. When she did so, they both began to smile. She was wearing no make-up and her hair was pulled back into a ponytail. Yet just the addition of the tiara completed the ensemble. It was perfect. Absolutely perfect.

Emily watched herself standing there in her wedding gown. It had been a beautiful gown. The moment she had seen the design, she immediately knew that her wedding would be perfect. Her mother had agreed to pay the exorbitant cost of custom designing the dress, elated that her daughter was finally getting married. The poor seamstresses had spent hours making every detail of the dress perfect and keeping it in pristine condition as they worked. Yet it was worth every penny and every painstaking hour of work that the finished dress had required.

"You were such a beautiful bride." Emily turned to see Sweetie standing next to her. They both watched the young Emily staring at her reflection and Hope standing next to her. They just stood still in front of the mirror, neither speaking a word. The young Emily barely moved the whole time as Hope reached out and placed her hand on Emily's shoulder, telling her how beautiful she looked.

"I had forgotten how happy I was back then."

"Forty-two years … it sure did go by fast, didn't it?" Sweetie reminisced.

"It feels like it was yesterday. I was so young and in love. I wanted to make Richard the happiest man in the world." Emily sighed heavily. "I miss her. That young woman in the mirror, so innocent and hopeful."

"It's you, Emily."

"I know. That's why I miss her."

* * *

Lorelai bent over the clock-radio, trying to set the alarm for early in the morning. Richard had no choice but to attend a staff meeting at Yale and thus Lorelai had agreed to stay with her mother while he was gone. She pressed the stiff buttons, trying to get the blinking numbers to light up. Finally, she realized that she had to set whether she wanted the radio to come on or the buzzer. As she flipped the button for the radio, a high-pitched voice began singing, filling the room with music.

_Bill, I love you so, I always will_

_I look at you and see the passion eyes of May_

_Oh, but am I ever gonna see my wedding day_

_I was on your side Bill when you were loosin'_

_I never scheme or lie Bill, there's been no foolin'_

_But kisses and love won't carry me till you marry me Bill_

Lorelai stopped, frozen in place. The song continued, the woman singing about her Bill and how he would never marry her. It oddly brought her a sense of calm and soothing and Lorelai began to subconsciously move her body to the tune of the music. It was almost as if she could hear her mother's serene voice softly whispering the lyrics in her ear and not the voice of the singer.

_I love you so, I always will_

_And in your voice I hear a choir of carousels_

_Oh, but am I ever gonna hear my wedding bells_

_I was the one who came runnin' when you were lonely_

_I haven't lived one day not lovin' you only_

_But kisses and love won't carry me til you marry me Bill_

She closed her eyes, remembering what it had felt like to have her head pressed against her mother's shoulder. Her body had hung limply in her mother's safe arms, worn out from crying incessantly. Her own little hand lazily held onto her mother's string of pearls, resting against her neck. It was almost as if she could still feel them against her fingers even now. She could also feel her mother's hand pressed against her back and the sway of her mother's hips as they moved to the tune of the music. The smell of Chanel No. 5 that had overwhelmed the little girl's senses as she rested her head against her mother's neck seemed to still linger in the air. In those moments she had forgotten about the pain in her ear and how uncomfortable she felt. She let the music and her mother calm her fears and worries.

_I love you so, I always will_

_And though devotion rules my heart I take no bows_

_But Bill you're never gonna take those wedding vows_

_Oh, come on Bill_

_Oh, come on Bill_

_Come on and marry me Bill_

_I got the wedding bell blues_

_Please marry me Bill_

_I got the wedding bell blues_

_Marry me Bill_

Lorelai smiled. It was almost as if she could feel her mother kissing the top of her head as she lightly danced around the room with her daughter in her arms, singing in a soft voice as the song finally came to its end. Yet it didn't immediately begin to replay, as it had when she was a child.

"_W107.7FM, your station for all the hits from every generation. We're proudly sponsored by Benson's-"_

The harsh sound of the announcer reverberated in her head and Lorelai instantly snapped out of her daze. She suddenly remembered that she was in her bedroom, setting the alarm clock. It was only a memory and nothing that she had felt had actually been real. She reached down, flipping the final switch to set the alarm as the room fell silent again.

Her bedroom felt very quiet and empty now. The sense of peace and serenity that she had felt just moments ago was now gone. Lorelai sat down on the edge of her bed. Before she was able to even decipher her emotions she felt the tears stinging her eyes. For once, she didn't fight them. She didn't try to stop them or even to hold them back as long as she could. She just sat there on the edge of the bed, crying for all the years that she and her mother had lost. Grabbing the pillow, she held it to her, trying to find some sort of way to quell the overwhelming fear that she might never be able to speak to her mother again. That she might never again hear her mother's voice or feel the fire of her mother's gaze as she looked into her eyes. She finally allowed herself to realize that it really could all end and that she might never be able to erase her regrets.

* * *

"My mother is in the hospital," Lorelai announced, taking a seat at the counter.

Luke turned around, surprised to see Lorelai sitting there in her usual spot. Or what used to be her usual spot. It had been almost a year since she had been in here. He hadn't expected to turn around and find her sitting at the counter, especially not this late at night. The place was totally empty and he had been about to walk over and lock the door.

"She fell in my Dad's study. She's been out of it for days. The doctors don't know why she isn't waking up. I just stand there and look at her. And it's like I'm not looking at my own mother. I don't know who this woman is. She's not yelling at me or judging me. She's just lying there … like she's someone else's mother and not mine."

Lorelai finally looked up and realized that Luke was staring at her. She then realized where she was and what she had done in coming here. It had just felt so natural. She pushed herself off the stool and moved to the door. "I'm sorry Luke. I shouldn't be here."

"Wait!" he called out to her. She let her hand fall away from the doorknob. "Do you want a cup of coffee?" he asked. Even though it was just a few short hours away from midnight, he knew that she wouldn't turn down a cup of coffee. And she looked like she could really use it, too.

"Do you need to ask?" Lorelai teased. His question and her sarcastic reply had eased the discomfort between them. Luke reached for a mug as Lorelai sat back down at the counter.

"So, your mom isn't waking up?" he asked, trying to surmount the tension in the air.

"Apparently not." She took a sip of the coffee. Man, she had missed this. The coffee. The diner. Luke. She had missed it all so much that she didn't even realize how much she had missed it until just now. "She could have died or been seriously injured." Lorelai looked down and into her mug. "I keep remembering things about her, but not the usual stuff like the fights or the all the times that I disappointed her. I always think about all the bad stuff that happened and never about the good times that we once had."

"I'm sure it wasn't all bad. You tend to exaggerate when it comes to your mother."

Lorelai smiled slightly. He was right. He still knew that much about her. It felt familiar and comfortable and really right to be here with him. "We always argue about the same thing and I'm so tired of it, Luke."

"You've said many times before that your mother is still disappointed that you didn't marry Chris when you were sixteen and raise Rory together." Lorelai thought that he might stiffen at the mention of Chris, but he didn't. He just kept on. "She's never gotten over that."

"I just … There is no much unfinished stuff between us. I always figured that we'd have more time to … I don't know … to maybe work things out. Or at least get to a good place where we can be around each other and not feel like there is a pink elephant in the room." She was silent again. "I don't know what I'll do if she doesn't wake up. It's not all her fault. She tried to reach out to me so many times and I didn't do anything in return. I'm not entirely guilty for the way our relationship is, but I've made so many mistakes in my life." Lorelai shook her head, adding, "This past year especially." She stopped speaking. They were both silent. Neither knew what to say.

"Good coffee," she commented, finally breaking the silence.

"Thanks."

* * *

Richard lay slumped over in his chair. He would regret falling asleep in this position when he woke up as it was not conducive to a man with back problems. He had thought of going home and to bed, yet he just couldn't bring himself to sleep in their bedroom without her there beside him. So he decided to stay at the hospital and go home in the morning to get ready for his meeting. It was more comforting to know that she was lying next to him, even if he were sleeping in a chair beside her hospital bed.

_He knocked on the door to her room. "Emily…" She didn't respond. "Emily!"_

_Finally, she came to the door, standing on the other side of it. "Richard, you're not supposed to see me before the wedding."_

"_I can't see you, Emily. The door is closed."_

_Emily sighed. "What do you want?" She still had to finish getting ready and she only had an hour. Her tone was a bit impatient._

"_I just want you to know that I love you, Emily. There is nothing that I want more than to marry you today. And nothing would ever make me change my mind."_

_Emily was slightly confused by his sudden display of affection. She looked over her shoulder at her mother who was fussing over Hope. She hadn't yet noticed that Emily wasn't in the dressing room. "I love you, too, Richard, but I have to go finish getting dressed. I'll see you in an hour." Emily stepped away from the door, a smile appearing on her lips as she thought of the words that he had just spoken._

_Richard heard her footsteps as she walked away from the door. He was furious. Not with Emily, but with his mother. How could she try and ruin this day? How could she do this to him? He was about to marry the woman of his dreams and all he could think about was his anger towards his mother. He had refused to let her into his suite before the ceremony. His father had no idea what she had done and Richard had no intentions of telling him, thus Charles was left clueless as to the wedding day spat between his wife and their son. _

_Richard stood outside the door to the groom's suite, straightening his tie. He took a deep breath. He loved Emily. He loved her with all his heart. It was understandable that his mother couldn't comprehend why he had chosen Emily over Pennilyn as he'd never really given her a particular reason, but to do this to him right now! Why could she not be happy that he had found a woman who would make him happy? Why could she not at least accept that? Pennilynn hadn't made him happy. Pennilynn had made his mother and father happy. Yet it wasn't their life that he was living; it was his. It was his future and he had chosen to spend it with Emily. And he would spend it with her. He'd never decide otherwise. And his parents would just have to accept that. As he reached for the doorknob, he was a bit more at ease now than he had felt previously. Trix approached him, asking where he had gone._

"_I went to speak to Emily."_

"_To call off this … this nightmare of a wedding, I hope!"_

_Richard pushed his mother into the suite. Trix was a bit hopeful as he rather clandestinely shoved her into the room and hastily shut the door behind them. Yet her expression fell as Richard turned to her, his eyes full of anger. "Listen to me, Mother. This is my wedding day. I love Emily and if you can't accept that, then you need to leave. I do not want you here if you cannot be happy for me. I will not let you ruin this day!"_

"_How dare you speak to me this way!"_

"_And how dare you do this to me on my wedding day!" he grumbled. "Either be happy that I am marrying the woman I love or don't be part of our lives!" _

_Trix threw her hands up in the air. "I just don't understand why you are not marrying Pennilynn today. She is much more suitable of the Gilmore name than this girl you've found yourself enamored with."_

_  
"Enamored," he huffed, his tone a mix of amusement and anger. He actually had to turn away from his mother for a moment to regain his composure. "I am not enamored, mother. I love Emily. I love her more deeply than your cold heart will ever understand!" Trix's eyes widened as she stared at her son incredulously. He had never spoken to her like that before. She was in shock. This was undoubtedly due to Emily's influence upon him. He'd never have spoken to her like this before he met that girl. _

_Richard grasped the handle to the door, his other hand sliding behind his mother's back as he pushed her forward. "If I see you in the church when I walk out with the minister, I'll assume that you have chosen to hold your tongue." He gave her no chance to reply, shutting the door in her face. "Otherwise I'll send you and father the photos."_

_Richard stood in place for a few moments more, trying to compose himself. This was supposed to be a happy day. Not a day for fighting and threats of severing relationships. He would know his mother's decision later, when he entered the sanctuary. For now, he wouldn't allow her to ruin this day for him and to mar the happy memories that he intended to have of this special day._

_When Richard did finally walk out with the minister at his side, he found his mother seated in the front row next to his father. She didn't look happy, but she was there. And that meant the world to him. He smiled at her, but she gave no response and made no indication that she was aware he was looking directly at her. However, it didn't matter as Emily was really the only person on his mind. He knew that she was standing only a few hundred feet away from him at the back of the church._

_The organ music began to play and Richard looked to the back of the church as everyone stood up. Two ushers opened the doors and he saw Emily standing there, her arm tucked underneath that of her father. Richard stood still, awed by the sight of her as she came towards him. He had no thoughts, no emotions. He was awestruck as he watched her walk down the aisle. To say that she was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen would be an understatement. It was an image that would always be seared into his memory yet he would never be able to describe it with any words that would make logical sense. He'd just never forget the way she had looked that day, walking towards him, about to become his wife._


	10. Chapter 10

_Ok, so here is the next chapter … finally! My beta left me for New York City – apparently she loves Broadway more than me. Thus don't be too hard on me if you notice any errors or things that make you go 'hm…' I did this chapter all on my own and didn't have my security blanket with me. This chapter is a little longer than usual, so I hope that makes up for the long time that you had to wait for it! I am moving to Atlanta (and then New Orleans) at the end of the month, so give me about two weeks to get settled and then hopefully things will be back to normal!_

**CHAPTER TEN**

"Paulie…"

Paul Nelson looked up at Lorelai. He didn't actually even have to look up know it was her. She was the only person that called him by that name. The only one, thankfully. For some reason, as a child, she had decided to start referring to him in that manner instead of using his real name like everyone else. Their mothers were best friends and she felt that they, too, should have something unique between them even if they weren't really that close. And she was five years old when she gave him the nickname, so it didn't really come with a logical explanation.

"Lorelai, it's nice to see you," he smiled, stopping in the hallway as she approached him. "It's been a while."

"Yeah, it has," she nodded. It was still a bit odd to see him in a lab coat and walking the halls of a hospital. He had been such a prankster and wild kid in school. She'd never actually expected him to grow up and become so straight laced, though he had probably never expected anything great out of her either. Getting drunk behind the bleachers at football games was about the only time they had ever bonded.

"I hear your daughter is about to graduate from college. Yale. That's impressive. Our kids are still in high school, but they'll be out of the house in no time. It's hard to believe." He shook his head as Lorelai nodded in agreement. She didn't really know that much about his family. He'd married some girl they knew in high school, but that was really all she remembered. She was a cheerleader or class president or something like that. Not the type of girl that Lorelai had hung out with back then. "What brings you by here?" he asked. "Nothing bad, I hope."

"Well … my mother is here."

"Emily?" He sounded worried. "Is she all right?"

"Physically, yeah, she's fine." Lorelai looked down at her handbag. It was light tan and matched her shoes. "She's unconscious. Not in a coma or anything like that, just not waking up after hitting her head pretty hard."

"Oh." It was all he could think to say. His mother had been that way before she died. She wasn't in a coma or a persistent vegetative state; she just never woke up again. They had held off on signing the papers to end the life support hoping she might wake up. Yet she didn't and after three days he and his father had decided that it was time to let her go.

"I hope that she'll be all right. She's always been such a lovely lady. I know the kids here in the cancer wing are crazy about her. I guess I'll have to tell them that she won't be coming by this week. They're going to be so disappointed."

"What are you talking about?" Lorelai asked. Why would a group of kids be disappointed about not seeing her mother this week? And why would her mother even be visiting a group of sick kids? "Is that some sort of DAR thing she does?"

"Story hour … We have it the first Tuesday of every month…" He didn't understand why Lorelai wasn't following him. "She and my mother have been doing it since we were children, Lorelai. They used to bring us with them. It's a huge event. The kids love it."

Lorelai shook her head. "I don't remember that." No, she had no memories of anything like that. Nothing. "You mother died a few years ago, right?" She seemed to remember her mother talking a little about Melinda's death. It was just before Trix had died. Suddenly a wave of guilt washed over her for berating her mother over not having a good enough story to tell about why her best friend was called Sweetie.

"Yeah, a little over three years ago. She and your mother always came once a month to read to the kids. They would take turns telling the story-" He paused, laughing at the memory, "and usually my mother would act out some of the parts, seeing as she was a bit more outrageous and impetuous than your mother." The image of his mother made him smile. "I took over her part when Mom died. I think it was hard for Emily to continue without her, but it's helped both of us deal with our loss."

"How long has my mother been doing this?" Lorelai asked.

He had to think about it for a minute. "We're both around forty … So, I'd say at least thirty-five years maybe."

Lorelai didn't know what to say. She was actually a bit relieved when a voice over the speaker system paged Dr. Nelson to the Emergency Room.

Paul rushed off, bidding her goodbye and telling her he'd be thinking about her mother as he hurried down the hallway. Lorelai remained standing where she had been. "At least thirty-five years," she muttered. "What else don't I know about you, Mom?"

* * *

Richard sat in his meeting, listening to Dean Willis talking about enrollment management and the growing number of economics majors. This was a good sign, he had said, that the field was about to experience an influx of new life and that Yale was at the start of that new era. They were at the dawn of a new age in economics and it was their responsibility to steer their students in the right direction. They, the top professors in their field, were the ones responsible for shaping these young minds and for molding their future successors. Richard had no interest in the meeting. It really didn't even make sense why he was required to be here. He was just a visiting lecturer. This was information intended for faculty, not for the whole department. He didn't publish in academic journals or give presentations at conferences and semiannual gatherings of economists. His Yale responsibilities did not include mentoring students about their careers and future educational plans. Sure, he willingly gave his time if a student asked yet he didn't have any formal responsibilities within the department. He had never performed any of the academic duties that the faculty professors did on a daily basis. He was an insurance man. It made no sense that he had been required to attend. Silently, he chided himself for having come to the meeting.

This was typical Richard Gilmore, leaving his wife behind to go to some meeting that wasn't really as important as he'd made it out to be. He'd put his job before his wife so many times that he couldn't begin to count how many times he'd done it in the last forty years. Even after so many decades she still had the same look on her face every time he left. And he still left her, seeing the sadness in her eyes as she kissed him good-bye and watched him walk out the door time and time again. He still left her.

Emily rarely complained about his absence. She didn't complain when he'd tell her that he was going out of town this weekend or going to be away for a week or two on business. When he would start to spend too much time away from home and spend all his time at work she would just nod and say "I'll see you tonight." Rarely did she complain. Yet even when she did he never paid much attention to her. He would always insist that his work was important and that he had to be away from home and thus away from her. She had played the role of wife so well that sometimes he even forgot that it really was just a front and that deep down she was hurt each time he put his job above her. He had made many mistakes in his lifetime. He had taken her for granted so many times in the past forty years. It made him ashamed to think about it. Undoubtedly he was one of the luckiest men to be married to a woman like her, to be loved by a woman like her. His friends and colleagues envied him. He knew it. Even Emily knew it. And yet from the beginning he had started this forty year cycle of leaving her behind to go listen to some old man talking about things that weren't really that important or pressing that he had actually needed to leave her at that moment.

"_Are you happy?" Emily asked, turning on her side to face her husband as the bed sheet covered her body. She and Richard had only been married a few months now. _

_Richard laid his head back against the pillow. It was just past six o'clock in the morning but the light of the sun was already coming through the windows. "Of course I am." Emily smiled rather weakly. "Are you?"he asked in return, rolling his head to the side to look at her. _

"_Of course I am," she agreed._

_Richard learned forward a bit, propping himself up on his elbows to look over at her. "Is something wrong?" It was rather out of the blue for her to ask a question like that. It was rare that she talked about emotions. She would say 'I love you' and the like, but she always shied away from emotional talk. Their love didn't need to be explained. She knew that he loved her deeply and he knew that she felt the same way. Neither of them needed to express their emotions verbally to feel a connection and to be reassured._

_Emily shook her head. "No, I just… I'm being silly." She smiled, trying to reassure him. There was a look in her eyes that caught his attention and he couldn't quite let it go that easily. He persisted._

"_You know that you can tell me anything, Emily, even if it is silly…." She forced herself to smile widely. They had been married for only a few months now yet it already felt like his work was taking over his life. She didn't want to be one of those women who complains about her husband always being away on business. But lately they had barely spent any time together. And the time that they did have together, well, they'd didn't spend it talking. They were newlyweds, after all. A few exchanges of pleasantries and they were both far too wrapped up in their passion to bother talking._

"_It's nothing," she reassured him, reaching out to pat his leg reassuringly as she rolled onto her back and laid her head down on the soft pillow. _

_Richard didn't believe her and moved over, pulling her into his arms. Emily willingly settled into his embrace, resting her head against his chest. "I know I haven't been around much since we returned from our honeymoon."_

"_Your job is important, Richard. You have to earn your position in the company." Richard wrapped both of his arms around her tightly. She sounded like she had practiced that line many times before to make it sound like she actually meant it._

"_I care more about my place in this family," he smiled, his hand rubbing her shoulder._

"_It's only the two of us."_

"_We're still a family, Emily."_

"_You always do know just the right thing to say," she smiled, looking up at him._

"_It's not that difficult when you're married to such an amazing woman."_

"_Oh please," she laughed, placing her head against his chest once again. She could hear his heart beating in her ear. The monotone rhythm was actually rather soothing. She closed her eyes, just enjoying being with him._

"_Why don't we go away for the weekend…" he suggested._

"_What?" Emily pushed out of his embrace, sitting up to face him._

"_You don't want to go…?" Richard shifted his position, leaning back against the headboard._

"_I didn't say that," she corrected him. "Just … this weekend?"_

"_Yes, this weekend," he insisted. "Come on, Emily. We're young and supposed to be impetuous. Let's go into New York City. We'll see a show and spend the night at a hotel. It will be fun."_

_Emily smiled up at her husband. "That sounds wonderful," she agreed. "But let's skip the show," she suggested with a wink before leaning over to kiss her husband. "Why are you looking at me like that?" Emily asked, feeling more than a bit self conscious as Richard gazed at her for longer than she had expected._

"_Can one not think how beautiful his wife is?" he asked, propping his elbow beneath himself and resting his head in his hand._

"_One should think these things aloud so that one's wife knows what he feels," she grinned._

_Richard laughed at her playful mood. "If one spoke them, then they would no longer be thoughts," he countered. He brushed the back of his hand down her shoulder._

"_Yes, but one's wife would be very happy," she laughed, watching his hand out the corner of her eye._

"_Well, then," he grinned. Emily giggled as Richard moved his hand to caress her cheek and pressed his forehead against hers. She closed her eyes, enjoying the feel of his fingers against her skin and being so close to him._

"_What if one tells his wife that she is incredibly sexy … what type of response would that elicit?" he asked._

"_What don't you try and find out…" she suggested, opening her eyes again to look into his._

"_I already have," he informed her, moving over to rest his body atop of hers. He bent down to kiss her as the phone began to ring. Emily groaned as her husband rolled off of her, moving out of bed to answer it. She rolled over, pulling the cover over her body as she listened to him talking to the person on the other end of the line. She could tell that it was business and knew that he would soon dash into the closet and then be off to work, not even bothering to eat breakfast._

"_What was that about?" she asked, propping herself up on her elbows as Richard hung up the phone._

"_Just some company affairs, nothing to concern yourself with." He looked towards the closet, "Well, I should go get dressed."_

"_Yes," Emily agreed sadly as Richard disappeared from the main room. She sighed, falling back against the pillow. It always the phone, his back, his colleagues, his clients, or someone or something interrupting them from being alone together. _

_Richard soon came out of the closet fully dressed. Emily moved to get out of bed, but he came over to her, bending down to kiss her. "It's still early. Go back to sleep for a while," he suggested, kissing her. It was just a quick, goodbye kiss that left her feeling rather let down as he moved to the door. She laid her head down, sighing in frustration. Her husband must have sensed her frustration as he let go of the door handle, moving back to the bed. He pressed his knee against the mattress, bending over his wife's body as he brushed his lips against hers. "Tonight, I promise," he smiled._

_Emily reached her hand up to cup his cheek as he kissed her, smiling up at him. "Tonight," she whispered. Richard kissed her once more before finally leaving for work._

Richard put down his pen, picking up his notebook. He wasn't going to do this anymore. No more was he going to waste the time that he had left with her. He was going to take advantage of every second from now on. When she woke up, things were going to be different. He wasn't going to let his job take over his life. He was not going to go on out of town trips and leave her at home. If she couldn't go with him, then he just wasn't going. He was not going to make her cancel their social engagements because he was too busy at work. Not anymore. And he certainly was not going to spend the golden years of their lives selling insurance.

A few of the faculty members looked over at him as he made his way out of the room, yet no one stopped him from leaving. All he wanted was to get back to his wife, a feeling that he was quite familiar with. He promised himself that it would be different from now on. And he knew that this time it really would be.

* * *

Lorelai stood at the end of her mother's bed. "Oh, Mom," she whispered, "what happened to us?" Lorelai shook her head, trying to put all the pieces together. She just couldn't stop looking at her mother. Today was different. Something about today was different. It was like she was seeing a different woman now. All of these things that she had never known about her mother or that she had just somehow forgotten. How could she have forgotten so much? So many memories that she had forced herself to forget. So many good, decent memories. She had convinced herself that her childhood was horrible and miserable. Yet it wasn't. Not always. And when it was, it was her fault as much as that of her parents. Her mother hadn't made her life miserable. There were even times that she had been quite fond of her mother.

The phone rang and Lorelai jumped, surprised by the sudden noise. It took her a few seconds to realize that it was Rory's ringtone. She had to take a deep breath before she snapped the phone open to answer the call.

"Hey, kid." It was an effort to make herself sound fine and she knew that Rory probably wasn't buying it.

"So, how's Grandma today?" Rory asked, holding the phone to her ear as she sat at her desk. She was still mad that both her mother and grandfather had made her promise to stay at Yale and finish her school work. They had both used some line about it being what Emily would want. Rory knew they were right; she just didn't like it. She wanted to be with her mother right now. Even if Lorelai wouldn't admit it, Rory knew that this was taking its toll on her.

"She's the same," Lorelai announced, standing at the end of her mother's bed. She looked down at the magazine she had open. She flipped through the pages, not paying attention to any of the magazine's contents. It was hard not to scan her eyes up just a bit and watch her mother instead.

"Have the doctors said anything? Didn't they want to do some test today? That stimuli/response thing Dr. Reynolds talked about."

"I don't know. No one has come by yet." She closed the magazine, dropping it into the trashcan at the door as she walked by.

"I think I'm going to finish up this paper so that I can get it turned in. Then why don't I come by and stay with you while Grandpa's in his meeting?"

"No," she protested. Lorelai could tell that Rory was about to argue with her. "Grandma and Grandpa would not want you to neglect your schoolwork." She looked up at the clock over the door. "Besides, Grandpa's meeting is probably almost over anyways. He'd be back here before you even arrived."

"Mom … you guys can't make me stay away forever."

"I know you're worried about Grandma. We all are. But there is nothing you can do here. Grandma would want you to stay at school and get your work done. She wouldn't want you to neglect school on her account." Rory was silent. "You know I'm right."

"You are," Rory admitted, unsatisfied.

* * *

"Ok, this is a bit out there even me for me, Melinda…"

Sweetie sighed. They were standing by the bathroom door watching Emily and Richard lying in bed. Both were still asleep. Judging from the light coming in the windows, it was early in the morning. "You can be such a prude, Emmy. It's not like you are about to jump him and we're here to see the action."

Emily cringed. "Since when did you become so crude?"

"I've always been this way. And don't pretend that you are always so prim and proper yourself. You've said quite some outrageous things in your time, my friend."

"Well, I've never watched my husband and myself in bed before…"

Sweetie rolled her eyes. "We'll be gone before things heat up, OK?" Emily groaned. She just didn't like the idea of being there while she and Richard were in bed. Despite the fact that it was herself lying there, it just felt odd and voyeuristic. "Now … shhh…. Just pay attention and stop complaining."

It looked like Emily and Richard were awake now as the two women fell silent, watching the scene before them.

"I don't feel well," Emily moaned.

Richard pushed himself up on his elbows. "You've said that for the past five mornings."

"Well, I haven't felt well the past five mornings," she snapped, her arm draped across her forehead to shield her eyes from the light of the morning sun. Richard rolled over, pulling her into his arms. He kissed her neck, but she pushed him away.

"Don't," she mumbled. "I feel sick."

"Maybe you should go see a doctor," he suggested, letting her go as he sat up, his feet hitting the floor.

"I've thought about that but I usually feel fine by the afternoon." She groaned, rolling over and pulling the covers up past her neck. She drew her legs up, moaning again. Richard turned his head away from her for a moment and in that instant it felt like he had been hit with a major revelation. As he looked back at his wife, he suddenly saw her in a different light.

"Emily…" He reached over, shaking her. "Emily…"

"Don't," she mumbled from under the covers. "Just let me lie here."

"Emily…!" he persisted.

"What?" She pulled the sheet away from her face, glaring at her husband. She was clearly annoyed that he was bothering her.

"I don't think you're sick."

"Well, when you feel like going up to the roof and jumping to the ground to help alleviate the pain, you let me know, Richard. Then we'll discuss what I feel like right now." Emily buried her face in the pillow, trying to drain out the daylight.

He shook her again and she once again mumbled for him to leave her alone. "You're not sick, Emily. You're pregnant."

She grasped the edge of the comforter, pushing it away as she turned to look at her husband. "I can't be pregnant."

"Why not?" he asked. "We talked about having a child before. And we don't use any form of contraceptives…"

Emily grasped the sheet in her hand, a look of panic in her eyes. "I … I'm not ready to be a mother, Richard. I have a lot of things to do before spring and summer. I don't have time to grow another human being!" She was no longer certain if the feeling in her stomach was morning sickness or a sense of panic that she had less than nine months to plan for the biggest event of her life.

He smiled at her reaction. "Emily…" She seemed to almost recoil from him as he moved closer to her.

"We've discussed this before. You said that you were ready to have a child."

"Yes," she agreed. "Months ago. We discussed it months ago."

"So you had to know it would happen eventually."

"Well … I … after … it was months ago. When it didn't happen, I guess I just assumed that it wasn't going to happen at all. So … I … I started making other plans. Richard, I'm the matron of honor in Hopie's wedding in six months. I can't be pregnant during her wedding!"

"I don't think you have a choice, Emily."

She felt a sudden panic. This was not the right time. Sure, they had agreed to have a baby but she just didn't know it would happen now. DAR functions, bridal showers, wedding plans, social events, all sorts of occasions flashed in her mind. There was too much to do and not enough time. She pushed herself into a sitting position. "Do you really think I'm pregnant?" she asked. She brought her knees up to her chest. She desperately wanted him to tell her that she was not pregnant and that he was wrong.

"Well, when was the last time you had a … you know."

Emily tried to hide her smile. It was adorable how Richard actually seemed to fear the menstrual cycle. "I don't know," she sighed. "I don't know. I haven't been paying attention to it lately." She took a deep breath. "I don't know the last time. Maybe a month or two ago…"

"You don't have … them … when you're pregnant. So…"

"So, I'm pregnant." Emily ran her hand through her hair, a blank expression on her face. She suddenly had no words to speak. There were really no thoughts to express either. She just couldn't do anything. "I'm pregnant," was all she could manage to say.

Sweetie elbowed Emily in the arm. "Not as creepy as you thought, huh?" she asked.

Emily looked over at her with a smile. "I didn't go to the doctor for a week. I was too afraid of having him confirm it."

"I have never seen any woman so shocked to discover that she's pregnant when it was a planned pregnancy."

"It was not planned!" she argued.

"You told Richard you were ready to have a child and stopped using contraceptives. That's planned, Emily."

"I just … I wasn't prepared. When it didn't happen at first, I thought that it just was not the right time."

"Well, the right time came. It just took a few months. And as much as you and Richard … you know … I'm surprised it didn't happen sooner." Emily blushed slightly. She didn't like talking about such things. It was always Melinda who pushed the envelope, not she.

"I was sick the whole nine months. I guess that was my first sign that Lorelai was a difficult child." She fell silent for a moment, remembering the day the doctor had confirmed for her that she was indeed pregnant. "I was afraid that I wasn't prepared to be a mother, that I wouldn't love her enough." Emily shook her head. "Maybe I didn't always show her how much I love her, but I have always loved my daughter. Even when I was scared of the idea of being her mother, I still loved that little girl growing inside of me."

"It's never been a question of how much you love her, Emily. She knows that you love her. You two just stopped communicating somehow. Instead of talking to each other, you just talked at each other."

"It was so much easier when she was a young child. She loved me unconditionally back then."

"She still does."

* * *

Richard walked towards his wife's room. The door at the end of the hallway was slightly ajar and he could see his daughter sitting next to her mother. For some reason, she looked different today. It was like he was seeing his daughter in a different light. He didn't know what about her appearance had changed. Nothing physically had changed. It didn't make much sense, but she just seemed different today. He stood in the middle of the hallway, looking out at her.

"_Emily! I'm home!" Richard announced, closing the front door behind him. The maid walked past him and he stopped her, asking if his wife were still awake._

"_She's upstairs, sir. I don't think she is feeling well today."_

_Richard's brow furrowed and he thanked the girl. Emily had felt ill all week. As he mounted the staircase he widened his step, hurrying to be at his wife's side._

"_Richard?" she asked as the door to their bedroom opened._

"_Yes, Emily, it's just me." Emily was lying in bed. She lifted her head up to see him enter the room. "Are you all right?" he asked._

_Emily sighed. "I'm fine. But this child wants out, Richard. And frankly I'm ready for her to be born."_

"_Well, it isn't time yet," he said, sitting down on the edge of the bed. Richard placed his hand on Emily's enlarged belly. "She may be anxious to get out, but it is not time yet. Just a few more weeks."_

"_Weeks!" Emily groaned. _

"_I know this hasn't been easy for you, Emily."_

"_Easy!" she repeated incredulously. "It has been torture, Richard. Do you have any idea what it is like to sit up here all day and do nothing? The maid comes in every hour and asks if I need anything. That's the highlight of my day – the maid's hourly visits! I turn on the TV and the only things to watch are these horrible shows about people having affairs and switching spouses like they're handbags. I spent two hours today watching the gardener plant flowers in the back yard for entertainment, Richard. Every time he moved out of my sight I felt as if I were going to cry."_

_Richard smiled, rubbing his wife's hand. "I'm sorry, dear. I wish there was something I could do to make it better."_

"_You could tell me that I'm not the fattest woman you've ever seen," she suggested._

_Richard laughed. "You are not fat; you're seven months pregnant."_

"_And getting bigger every day," she sighed. "I've never been larger than a size four, Richard. Now … I don't even know what I am now! And when I lie down I can't see anything past my stomach. I haven't put on clothes in two weeks! I probably don't even have anything that fits!"_

"_You will be your usual self again soon." Emily huffed. "You're gorgeous," he smiled. "More beautiful than I've ever seen you before."_

"_It's not nice to lie to a pregnant woman," she reminded him, rolling her eyes at his compliment._

_Richard laughed again. He lifted his hand, touching the side of her face. "I'm not lying," he said softly, "you are so beautiful to me. I know this isn't how you imagined your pregnancy would be towards the end, but it will all be worth it once we meet our little girl."_

"_I am excited," Emily admitted with an apprehensive smile. "I just hope that she doesn't hate me from the moment she sees me."_

_Richard slid his arm around Emily, moving to sit next to her. "You're her mother. You've been taking care of her for seven months now."_

"_And look what a good job I've been doing. I've been sick the whole time. And now I'm on bed rest."_

"_That is not your fault, Emily." She didn't respond. "You will be an amazing mother."_

"_I hope so." She looked down at her hand, which was resting safely in Richard's. "Ow!"_

"_What?" he asked, a bit worried by her sudden outburst._

"_She kicked me in the ribs!" Emily let go of Richard's hand to rub her side. "She kicked me!"_

"_Maybe she was trying to get your attention to tell you not to be so worried about her arrival," he smiled._

"_Or maybe she was trying to tell me once again that she wants out."_

Lorelai looked up, seeing her father staring at her. As Richard continued to walk down the hall to the room, she met him in the doorway. Neither one of them even thought or comprehended the movements of their bodies as Lorelai's head fell against his shoulder and Richard's arms went around her body. It had been so long since they had embraced each other. Neither remembered the last time it had happened or even if there had ever been a last time.

"We can't lose her, Dad," Lorelai sniffed. She pulled away from her father, her arms wrapped around her body as she looked down at her feet. She turned to face her mother, her back to him.

"Forty years with her isn't enough time for either of us, is it, Lorelai?"

"Why have I never realized until now that she's not the enemy? She's just my mother … imperfect, tempestuous, overbearing, sometimes spiteful … but just my mother."

Richard didn't know what to say. He just stood behind his daughter, his hand on her shoulder as they looked down at Emily's unconscious form.


	11. Chapter 11

**CHAPTER ELEVEN**

Richard stood in the doorway of his wife's hospital room. Lorelai was asleep in the chair next to Emily's bed. Her head was slumped to the side and her hair fell in her face. She looked so peaceful and calm. In that moment it was hard to believe that she had been such a rebellious and wild child. She just looked like the beautiful little girl he'd fallen in love with from the first moment that he had laid eyes on her. The fact that somehow forty years had gone by seemed like it had all happened in the blink of an eye. Just yesterday she had been small enough to hold in his arms. Just yesterday. He could still remember that day like it had happened only moments ago …

_Emily grasped her husband's hand. "Please don't leave me," she begged. "I can't do this alone." Her grasp was painful and his skin was quickly turning bright red. _

"_I'm just going to go tell your parents and mine that everything is fine," Richard soothed, his free hand brushing her wayward hair from her face._

"_Our parents," she groaned. "Why did I have go into labor while our parents were visiting? I thought that I had two more weeks!" Emily tried to turn onto her side, but she couldn't make herself comfortable._

"_It got us out of having to agree to anything," Richard joked. His face fell, however, as he looked at his wife. She wasn't smiling. They had been discussing the baby's christening. Everyone had a different opinion about how it should be planned. Their mothers had been in the midst of a very serious conversation over the appropriate flowers to use when Emily's water broke. Trix had actually shushed Emily as she tried to tell them what was going on. It was Charles who noticed that his daughter-in-law was suddenly quite pale. Emily's father had been too busy staring at the centerpiece, trying to stay out of the artful debate brewing between his wife and Richard's mother. And Richard was too busy trying to deflect the conversation onto a calmer subject to notice his wife's condition._

"_I can't believe this had to happen tonight," Emily groaned._

"_They've been waiting out there for a long time, Emily," Richard reasoned. It had actually only been a few hours, yet somehow it felt longer than that. "They're probably worried. __And we don't have much time between your contractions, Emmy," he added. _

"_I can't believe that I agreed to this," she groaned. "They don't tell you about this part. No one tells you about labor and how horrible is it going to be." Emily tried to reposition herself, but nothing eased the pain that she felt. That damn doctor kept telling her she was doing "good" and that "soon" it would be time. He had been saying that for three hours now and it was starting to get annoying. _

"_I will be back in less than two minutes, I promise." Richard leaned over to kiss her forehead, but she turned her face away from him._

"_Fine. Go. Tell them." Emily felt the sting of tears, but she absolutely refused to let herself shed them._

_Richard debated with himself for a moment if he really should go. Yet he knew either way that he'd lose this one. She had been yelling at him and then crying for hours now. It was quite confusing. His wife had never acted this way before and he frankly didn't know what to think about it. _

_The doctor smiled at him. "You've got time, sir." Richard rushed to the door, taking one look back at his wife before exiting the room. She was gorgeous. Even in labor she was gorgeous. _

"_Mrs. Gilmore…" Emily opened her eyes, looking up at her doctor and the nurse next to him. "You're doing wonderfully. It shouldn't be much longer now. Your labor is progressing very nicely," he smiled.__ "Your baby will be here in no time." _

"_My daughter," she corrected the man. "It's a girl." Emily shrugged his hand away from her. _

"_We don't know the baby's sex yet, Mrs. Gilmore." _

"_I know it's a girl," she insisted. "I've known since the day I found out that I was pregnant." _

_The doctor smiled. He didn't want to upset her. __If she thought it was a girl, then he wouldn't argue with her about it. __They'd know soon. "Well, we'll find out soon enough. It's almost time."_

"_You've said that for hours now," she reminded him, trying to hold her annoyance in check and not to jump all over the man just for doing his job. _

"_Well, your daughter has not been as eager to come out as we thought she'd be," the nurse added with a smiled, turning away to write something on a chart. She knew not to argue with an expectant mother. If the woman thought she was having a girl, then it was best to leave it at that. _

_Emily groaned, wishing that they would both leave her alone. "She wanted out for months and now that it's time she's changed her mind." Emily closed her eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath as the nurse informed her that she was about to experience another contraction. They were only getting worse and she frankly didn't know how much more she could take. She wished that Melinda were here with her yet she didn't want Melinda to see her like this. Melinda had just found out a few months ago that she, too, was expecting a child. Emily didn't want her to see how painful labor was and to frighten her. That's when it hit her. This is why no one knows how bad it is until it's time to deliver. Otherwise no woman would ever actually agree to go through with the horrid process. She was definitely going to have to reconsider her desire for five children. Definitely. Maybe two. That would be a decent number. Two or three. She could handle three children. Maybe. _

_Richard heard his wife's raised voice as he got closer to the door to her room. He smiled as she called the doctor or someone in the room an "incompetent airhead" and demanded to know where everyone in the room had gone to school. He even laughed as he listened to her ordering around the poor nurses. _

_Emily didn't notice her husband entering the room again. She was too consumed by the intensity of the contraction. They were only a few minutes apart now. The doctor had once again told her that soon it would be time. __Finally the contraction faded and she felt her husband next to her. Richard touched the side of her face, smoothing down her disheveled hair. __He bent down to kiss her forehead and she smiled at him. __For a few moments, they shared a genuine connection until the next contraction began and she grasped her husband's hand, yelling a lot of four letter words that he'd never heard from her before. __If he hadn't been so bothered by the obvious amount of pain she was in, he would have been further shocked by the words that were coming out of her mouth.__ Yet after it was all over, he wouldn't even remember the shocking things that she had said to both him and the nurses during her contractions. __He would be too happy and too content to remember anything negative. _

_Emily grabbed Richard's shirt, "Go get my mother," she pleaded. _

"_Your mother?" Richard asked. Emily had forbidden him to allow anyone else in the room. __Not even Hopie, which was good seeing as she hadn't arrived yet. She and her fiancé had left Paris as soon as Richard called. Their plane probably had not even crossed the Atlantic Ocean yet._

"_Now!" Emily demanded, seeing that her husband was faltering. __Richard seemed confused and it only annoyed her further. She sat up, a look of desperation in her eyes as she struggled to push herself up. "I want my mother to be here," she pleaded. "I can't do this with you here, Richard. I'm sorry. I just can't." She was about to start crying again. "I'm so sorry, Richard." _

"_It's OK," he soothed, holding her hand. He understood and part of him was a secretly relieved that he wouldn't be present for this part of the birth. _

_The look in Emily's eyes scared Richard and he turned to leave the room. __Emily called after him as he reached the door. "Thank you, Richard," she smiled. He nodded, going to get her mother from the waiting room._

_Emily was screaming again as he came back with her mother, standing outside the door to her room."Richard," the woman soothed. "Why don't you go sit with Trix and Charles for a bit? Give me some time with Emily." __She knew that Richard wanted to be present for the birth of his child. Yet she also remembered her own experiences with Hope and Emily and knew that it was for the best that he was not present. "Trust me. You don't want to see what's going on in there." _

_Richard tried to smile. __His mother-in-law had always been so wonderful to him. It was hard to believe sometimes that Emily disliked her so much. Yet he had heard her berating his wife on a few occasions and had heard some childhood stories from Hope. __She put on a good front for others, but she was nothing like his own beloved Trix. "I promise I'll come get you as soon as the baby is here. Everything will be fine. I promise."_

_Richard was about to say something when they heard Emily cursing at a nurse or doctor. The sound of pain in her voice startled him. __Vivian and Richard could hear both the doctor and nurse trying to placate her. He quickly agreed to let Vivian go be with her daughter. _

_Vivian pushed the door open, seeing her daughter across the room. __It was the first time that she'd ever actually seen her daughter as an adult. Emily wasn't a child anymore. No, she was about to have a child of her own. This wasn't exactly the life that Vivian would have chosen for her daughter, but it was close. She had always assumed Emily would marry one of those Harvard or Princeton boys that she'd grown up with. __Her father was a Princeton man.__He was at the top of his graduating class when Vivian had met him. Yet it made sense that Emily didn't marry a Harvard or a Princeton man. She had never had any interest in the sons of her father's associates. And Harvard was too close to home. If she'd married a Harvard man, then she would have had to stay in Massachusetts. And Vivian knew that Emily had wanted be as far away from her parents as she could possibly manage._

"_Mother," Emily smiled, looking over to see her mother entering the room. They were not close. Not at all. Yet she was glad that her mother was here. She was happy to have her mother with her. It was easier to let her mother be present for this than Richard. She didn't want him to see her in this state. Emily knew that she could take yelling and cursing at her mother and not be upset about it later. __But she also knew that she would feel bad for yelling at Richard when all he wanted to do was help. _

"_It's all right, Emily," her mother soothed, taking her daughter's hand. She was well aware that her daughter was not very fond of her. Emily had done everything she could to get out of their house as soon as she turned eighteen. She had gone to the best out of state college that had accepted her and only come home over the holidays when the university was closed. Vivian had never been close to her daughter. She had never wanted to be close to her daughter. That was not proper. She was the parent. Emily was the child. There were strict, defined boundaries there. It was not proper to be your child's friend. Yet it meant the world to Vivian that her daughter was allowing her to be present for the birth of her first grandchild. Today was different and for one day the lines of their relationship would blur. _

_It was another two agonizing hours before Lorelai was born. __Emily felt like her entire world was falling apart. Her legs ached and her entire body was sweaty and damp.__ She could feel her hair hanging limply at her shoulders.__ Yet none of that had mattered as she had looked over at her mother. She had seen the tears in her mother's eyes and it made all the pain and the discomfort disappear. __But even that had only lasted a few seconds before she felt an all-consuming and horribly intense pain as the doctor told her that it was finally time. The moment finally arrived. Finally her child was born. _

_The doctor was saying something, but Emily heard nothing. The only sound she heard was that of a baby crying and Emily knew that she could relax. Her mother was behind her, holding her daughter's body. She had been there the entire time, holding Emily up and forcing her to be strong and brave. It was the closest contact they'd had in years and the closest they would ever have again. _

_Emily had wanted to see the baby after it was born, but she fell back against her mother, utterly exhausted. From the moment that the doctor said, "It's a girl," Emily had fallen back into her mother's arms. It was a girl. She knew it. It was a girl. _

_Vivian moved to let her daughter lie down so that she could go get Richard. Before she walked away she looked down at her daughter. Maybe Emily would understand now. It wasn't that she didn't love her daughter. She did. All the criticizing and harsh words that she said were for Emily's benefit. She knew that if she pushed her daughter, then Emily would achieve more and be determined to succeed. Emily had been the top of her class in high school because Vivian had told her that she could not stay at home if she didn't either get into college or get engaged. Emily had chosen college, as Vivian had hoped she would. Her daughter was far too smart to not go to college before getting married. It would almost be a waste of such a quick, witty intelligence. And Emily had graduated in the top of her class at Smith because Vivian had challenged her on that, too. She had pushed her daughter. __And she had criticized her daughter. But it had all been for Emily's own good and to make her into the person that Vivian knew Emily was capable of becoming. It was all for Emily's benefit. _

_Richard and his parents rose as Vivian stepped out into the room. "She's beautiful, Richard," the new grandmother announced. _

"_It's a girl," Trix breathed._

"_A girl," Charles huffed. He'd wanted a grandson, someone to carry on the Gilmore name. A girl would marry and the family line would be broken._

"_And Emily?" Richard asked. _

"_She's fine," Vivian reassured him. "She did wonderfully." Vivian looked around, wondering where her husband had gone._

_Even Trix and Charles looked elated. Charles' hand rested on his wife's shoulder as Richard rushed back into the delivery room to be with his wife. _

_By the time Richard returned to the delivery room, the nurses had attended to his wife and daughter. Dr. Smith greeted him as he came into the room. He had the baby in his arms, about to take her over to Emily. _

"_Would you like to?" he asked, nodding towards Emily._

_Richard took the child from him, looking down at her. An uncommon twinge of fear shot through him for a second. This was new and unfamiliar. Yet it all disappeared as he looked down at his daughter. She was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. Her eyes were closed and her face was red. And she had a full head of dark black hair. He didn't even have to see her open eyes to know that they were bright and full of life. He just knew they were. They would be just like her mother's eyes. __All he could do was stare at his little girl. His daughter. His perfect daughter. The most perfect thing he'd ever seen. Richard had felt an instant connection the first moment he'd seen Emily, yet this was different than that. This was inexplicable. It was different from anything he'd ever felt before in his entire life. _

_He finally found the ability to move his legs and took their daughter over to Emily. She looked peaceful. Her eyes were closed but she opened them as Richard whispered her name. _

_Emily looked up, seeing her husband standing next to her. She smiled as he sat down on the edge of the bed. He moved their daughter into her arms and she had to bite her lip to keep herself from crying. Yet as she looked at her husband placing their little girl in her arms, she couldn't help the tears that escaped. __Richard kissed the side of her head, feeling a well of emotion taking over himself too. Emily watched her sleeping daughter as she rested in her arms. The kind of love that she felt was so new and different. It was a feeling she'd never experienced before. She could never have imagined what it would be like. Even being pregnant wasn't preparation for this. She had loved the baby growing inside of her, yet this was different. This was the kind of love that was stronger than anything else. It was an all consuming love. She'd do anything for this little girl. She'd give her anything just to make her happy. She wanted to give her daughter the entire world. And she would. Until the end of time this little girl would be the most important person in her life. _

_This beautiful little girl that would break both of her parents' hearts one day, yet all either of them knew right then as they watched her sleep was that they'd love her anyways, no matter what happened in the future. _

"_Lorelai Victoria Gilmore," Richard smiled. "That's quite a big name for such a little girl."_

_Emily laughed through her tears. "I think she'll live up to it." _

"_She's perfect, isn't she?" he mused._

_Emily nodded. "The most perfect thing I've ever seen. I can't believe that we did this, Richard."_

"_Thank you," he said, putting his arm around his wife as they watched their little girl sleep._

"_For what?" she asked, touching the baby's face with her finger._

* * *

Richard smiled at his sleeping daughter, wondering what she could be dreaming about. She looked so content and happy. It was quite a change from the way things had been. He hadn't seen her this at ease and peaceful for many days now. Yet everything had changed two days ago. That was when she had hugged him. Or when they had hugged each other. It was the first significant physical contact that they'd had in many years. It was honestly something he had never expected to happen again. Their relationship was just not that type. Even as a little girl Lorelai had favored her mother. He had been at work and making a living. It was natural that Lorelai would be closer to her mother. It was normal that she would be more attached to Emily. 

"_Mommy…" Lorelai whispered, poking her mother's shoulder. When Emily didn't seem to be waking up, Lorelai reached out her little hand, pushing against her mother's shoulder. That woke her up. "Are you awake?" she asked as Emily wearily opened her eyes. _

_It took Emily a moment to figure out that it was still the middle of the night and that her daughter was standing next to her bed. "Lorelai," she mumbled, "is everything all right?"_

_Lorelai nodded._

"_Then why are you out of bed?" Emily kept her voice a whisper, not wanting to wake Richard. _

"_It's loud outside," the little girl whispered, pointing to the window._

"_That's because it's winter time and we're having a snow storm." She pushed the hair from her own face, trying to blink the sleep from her eyes. _

_Lorelai nodded. "It's loud."_

"_Are you scared?" Emily asked, reaching out to touch her little girl's arm. _

_Lorelai shook her head. "I like snow." Her eyes seemed to light up the moment she mentioned the snow. "Can we go play in the snow?"_

"_It is wet and cold outside. We cannot go play in the snow. Besides, it's late and you should be in bed." _

"_But it's loud outside," Lorelai stated again. Emily tucked a strand of hair behind her daughter's ear. "I can hear the snow."_

"_You have to go back to bed, Lorelai," she soothed._

"_But I don't wanna!" She crossed her arms, raising her voice. __Emily looked over at Richard who was still asleep. _

"_Lorelai Victoria…" The little girl's face turned to a frown as her mother used her full name. She only did that when she was mad. _

"_Fine," she pouted, reaching down to pick up the pillow she had brought with her. Emily watched as her little girl turned and left the room. She looked so adorable in her angry state. It made her smile. __Her pajamas were pink and had little flowers on them. It was quite a look paired with her disheveled hair. _

_Emily tried to close her eyes and go back to sleep but something told her that her daughter had not gone back to bed. __She tried to get up without waking her husband. He stirred a bit, asking where she was going._

"_Go back to sleep, Richard," she whispered, bending down to kiss his cheek. Emily put her hand on his shoulder and he rolled back over, asleep again within seconds._

_As she made her way down the hall Emily saw that Lorelai's bedroom was still dark.__ Poking her head in the room she didn't expect to see her daughter. __Yet she was there, in bed, the covers pulled all the way over her body. Emily could only tell that her daughter was underneath the lump in the bed because her little hands stuck out, holding a pillow over her head. _

"_Lorelai …."_

"_What?" the little girl mumbled, not moving, her voice stifled by the pillow over her head._

"_What are you doing?" Emily asked, pulling the pillow away. _

_Lorelai flattened her body, lying down again. "It's loud," she explained once again._

_Emily sat down on the bed, putting her legs under the covers. "What if I stay in here with you tonight?" she suggested. _

"_It would still be loud," Lorelai informed her. _

"_I don't have to stay …" _

"_You can stay," she smiled. Lorelai turned over, moving to sit next to her mother. "Will you tell me a story?" she asked, a smile on her face as she moved to snuggle next to her mother._

_Emily looked down at her daughter leaning against her. "It's past midnight." _

"_Does that mean no?" She looked a bit deflated and Emily couldn't bear to disappoint her. _

"_What kind of story do you want to hear?" She was not good in this area. This was Richard's area. He was the storyteller. _

"_Snow!" Lorelai smiled. _

"_You want me to tell you about the snow?"_

_Lorelai shook her head. "Not the snow," she laughed. "Did you have snow when you were a little girl like me?"_

"_Lots of it," she smiled. "It snowed very often where I lived." _

"_Did you like it?" Lorelai asked, moving closer to her mother. "Did you play outside and get dirty?"_

"_Sometimes my sister and I played outside, but I never got dirty."_

"_Didn't Grandma let you go outside and get dirty?"_

"_No, she didn't." Her mother had never let them actually play outside in the snow. They had been allowed to go outside and maybe build some sort of snow creation when they were young children. Yet they had never been allowed to actually play in the snow or to do anything that would require getting their clothes dirty. _

"_Why don't you like Grandma?" Lorelai asked. __"Is it because she wouldn't let you play in the snow? Because I wouldn't like Grandma either if I couldn't play outside in the snow."_

_Emily looked down at her daughter, surprised by her question. "Why do you think I don't like Grandma?" She had barley ever even spoken to Lorelai about her mother or her own childhood. _

_The little girl shrugged. "We never visit her. Daddy says you don't want to go see her."_

_Emily put her arm around her daughter, making a note to remind her husband to watch what he says around their child. "Maybe we could go visit Grandma sometime this spring. Would you like that, Lorelai?"_

"_Does she have snow where she lives?" Lorelai asked. _

_Emily smiled at her daughter's persistent interest in snow. __"Yes, she does. It snows a lot there. Maybe we will go see her before the snow melts. How does that sound?"_

"_Would she let us play in it?" Lorelai asked wearily. She didn't want to go if she wouldn't be allowed to play in the snow. _

_Emily laughed. If anything her daughter was persistent. Looking out the window across from Lorelai's bed she sighed. The storm had died down. Only a few snowflakes could be seen floating around outside the window. The wind wasn't blowing anymore either. This was against her better judgment, but she couldn't resist the little girl. "Go put your clothes on," Emily told her._

_Lorelai's face broke out into a smile. "We can go outside?" she asked._

"_Yes," Emily agreed. _

"_Even though it is wet outside?"_

"_Yes."_

"_And dark and late and cold?"_

"_Yes. Yes. And yes," Emily laughed. "No go before I change my mind. Go put your clothes."_

_Lorelai nearly threw herself out of bed. _

"_And you cannot lie down in the snow and get your hair wet either."_

"_Ok!" she called from inside her closet._

_Emily got out of the bed. It was a challenge to get into her closet and not wake Richard. Yet she did it and as she closed the door to their bedroom behind her she found Lorelai waiting in the hallway, fully dressed. She looked so happy that it warmed Emily's heart to see her. _

_Grabbing her mother's arm, Lorelai led her downstairs._

"What is so funny?" Richard asked. It had been totally silent in the room and now his daughter's laughter was filling the room. He hadn't even realized that she was awake. He had been lost in his own thoughts.

Lorelai tried to stop laughing. "I just got this image in my head of throwing a snowball at mom in the backyard. I must have been like six years old. I thought she was going to be mad but then she started chasing me. I had forgotten all about that night."

Richard smiled. He was glad that his daughter's attitude was changing. Their lives together had not been entirely a nightmare. It hadn't really been that bad until she became a teenager. That was when it started going downhill. But before that they had been quite a happy family. Emily never spoke about that time, not wanting to relive the memories. The pain of Lorelai's actions had tainted everything for her. It had made even the good memories difficult to think about. And Lorelai seemed to have no memory of anything good ever happening. It was as if she had forgotten all together that they had once been a happy family. Yet Richard remembered it. He remembered it all. He remembered the good and the bad times.

"I can't believe she actually let me go outside in the middle of the night to play in the snow," Lorelai laughed. "We were soaking wet, too."

"Your mother can be very surprising at times." Richard smiled. There were many times in their marriage when his wife had surprised him with her spontaneous and playful behavior.

"You know what I thought of the other day?"

Richard shook his head, waiting for his daughter to continue.

"That time Gran visited and you couldn't find Mom and I for hours." Lorelai giggled, bringing her hand to her mouth. "And the whole time we were in the basement playing board games." She laughed even harder at the look on her father's face. "And you were so mad when you found us. The look on you face was priceless when you came downstairs and found us in the basement."

Even Richard couldn't stifle a laugh, now many years later. He had been quite upset that Emily did that. It was unacceptable to act that way to his mother, he had informed her. Yet Emily didn't seem to care. They had spent nearly an hour yelling at each other that evening. She was adamant and refused to call his mother and apologize. And she never did. In fact, he was the one who slept on the couch in their room that night. She had hidden herself and their child from his mother and somehow he had been the one to sleep on the couch. That was the charm of his wife. He could never stay mad at her for very long.

"I wish I could have seen Gran's face," Lorelai laughed. She shook her head. "I bet it was great. She didn't always have the nicest things to say about Mom." She laughed again before her mood turned somber. "I never understood it. Why was she always so hard on Mom?"

Richard sighed. "I don't think there really was a reason other than that I was her only son. When your mother came along there was suddenly another woman in my life. Your grandmother didn't like that there was someone more important in my life than her. I think it was jealousy more than anything else. She didn't have a reason to dislike your mother."

"She liked Pennilyn, though."

Richard huffed. "Pennilyn was a mouse." It was kind of funny, but his wife's description of her really was quite fitting. "Your grandmother could get that girl to do anything she wanted. Your mother, on the other hand, never once let Trix talk her into anything she didn't want to do. She always managed to stand up to her one way or another and I think that upset Trix, that she couldn't get what she wanted out of Emily."

"Do you ever wonder what your life would have been like if you hadn't met Mom? Or if you'd stayed with Pennilyn?" Lorelai didn't really know why she had asked that question. Or how she expected her father to honestly answer it. It had just seemed like such a natural thing to ask.

Richard shook his head. "The American Dream, I suppose. Pennilyn wanted a lot of kids." He leaned back in his chair. "Our life together was the perfect allusion. On the outside we were a beautiful couple. She was a very attractive woman. Yet the inside was all a lie. She met Stephen and I met your mother and we both saw what we were missing out on. It all seems so much simpler now than it did back then. I don't think either of us would have been happy had we stayed together. Maybe we would have been content with our lives, but not truly happy."

"How did you know that Mom was the one? I mean … how did you really know?"

Richard looked at his daughter. She wasn't actually talking about him and her mother anymore. She was talking about Luke. "Lorelai," he started, "I think we, as human beings, are blessed by our ability to have love in our lives. We have many different kinds of love. There's the love we feel for our parents, our siblings, our friends, our children … But there is another kind of love and it's very different from the familial type of love. You've dated a lot of men in your life."

Lorelai looked at him with a frown, uncertain of where he was going with this.

"Yet you've really only had two great loves. The first … you've always wanted it to work out between the two of you, but it never has. It has never been the right time or the right place. And then the second time that you felt that kind of love for someone else it didn't work out either."

"So, what, that proves I'm just unlucky in love?" She didn't like where this conversation seemed to be going.

"No, not at all. Love doesn't just exist out there somewhere separate from our beings. Happiness doesn't come find us. It is up to us to find it for ourselves. We have to make our own happiness, Lorelai. We have to put the effort forth to create a life that will satisfy us."

Lorelai sighed heavily, weighing her father's words.

"If you want to be with this man, Lorelai, then stop wasting your time. Maybe it is too late. Perhaps he is no longer in love with you. I don't know what your future holds. And neither do you. Just don't waste your chance to be happy. Both you and Chris waited too late. You lost your chance. Don't make the same mistake twice, Lorelai."

Lorelai blinked, looking at her father. "You are talking about, Luke, right?" she asked. "The guy you and Mom hate… you're actually telling me to go after Luke?"

Richard sighed. "We don't hate Luke." He shook his head. She really did only hear what she wanted to hear sometimes. "The day you were born I had big plans for you, Lorelai. Yet what I didn't realize is that you'd have a mind and a personality all your own. You wouldn't want anything to do with my plans." He looked directly at his daughter. "If this man makes you happy … well, your mother and I will just have to accept that. He loves you and he loves Rory. And I suppose that is all I've ever wanted for you and Rory, to find someone that will love you both."

"It's too late, Dad. Luke and I are over."

"Your mother once said the exact same thing to me, Lorelai. She told me that it was over and that she would never trust me again. And I was about to give up. I'd spent weeks trying to get her to take me back and yet she wouldn't give in. I didn't think there was anything else that I could do to convince her that I wouldn't break her heart again."

"So what changed?" Lorelai asked.

"Melinda," he smiled.

"Mom's best friend?"

Richard nodded. "She showed up at my office one day. She gave me a key to their apartment and told me to be there that evening when she and Emily came home. She stood in the doorway, refusing to let your mother leave until she would agree to at least talk to me. Your mother had no choice but to speak to me and to give me a chance to explain myself."

"It was that simple?" Lorelai asked, not quite believing him.

"Heavens no," Richard chuckled. "But it was a start. And if I had given up on your mother, then I would have missed out on my entire life." He leaned forward. "In spite of all the bad times we've had in this family, I still would not change a single thing about the life that I've led with your mother." He stood up, lingering in the doorway for a moment. "Don't waste your chance at happiness, Lorelai. Don't be a martyr. Let yourself be happy."

Lorelai watched her father exit the room, his words echoing in her mind.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

_I hope that the chapter was decent. I didn't enter the world until the late 1970s so I don't know much about medical technology back in the 1960s. I did some research and hopefully the birth segment was as realistic as possible. It shouldn't be as long between the chapters now that I am in Atlanta and I'd imagine the story will be complete before I leave for New Orleans in a few months._


	12. Chapter 12

_I feel like I always start the chapter by saying "Sorry for the delay!" __Many thanks for all the comments and the positive feedback. As usual, I cannot fully express my gratitude to my wonderful beta Cira. I got a five-page review out of her this time, so I hope you all will enjoy the latest chapter!_

**CHAPTER TWLEVE**

Lorelai looked from her mother to the window. Pushing herself up from the chair she had occupied for the past forty minutes, she stood up to stretch her legs. It was getting dark outside. Soon it would be nighttime and that would mark the end of yet another day her mother had spent lying unconscious in this place. Richard, at the insistence of both she and Joshua, had gone home to take a shower and to change his clothes. He just needed to get away from the hospital. It took Lorelai and Joshua both to convince him to go home. He had been sitting beside Emily's bed for three days straight without leaving more than a few minutes at a time.

Joshua and the neurologist they'd brought in from Boston to review Emily's medical record had talked to Richard and Lorelai about Emily's condition for more than two hours this afternoon. It had now been well over a week since Emily's accident. All of her brain scans and neurological tests showed no signs of any mental impairment or inhibited brain functions. They could find nothing seriously wrong with her. She just didn't seem to _want_ to wake up – that was all they could surmise. There weren't any answers to the many questions that they had. The neurologist was supposed to be the top of his field yet even he knew very little about what to do next.

Running her hand along the window seal, Lorelai looked out at the shadows cast by the rising moon. As her fingers traced the thick, rubbery line of sealant surrounding the glass pane, she found herself lost in though. There were so many times that she had tried to escape from her mother. And almost every time she had succeeded. Only a few times had her mother actually caught her. Now as she stood looking out the window she couldn't help the urge to want to escape again. She wanted to get out of this place. She wanted to leave and never come back. It was the same feeling she had felt twenty-three years ago when she had decided to take Rory and leave. Yet somehow she couldn't bring herself to leave this time. Just going home at night was getting harder and harder each day. Her mother was here and somehow it just felt right that she be here. No matter how much she wanted to leave, she couldn't stop herself from coming back. Not out of obligation or responsibility, but out of a need to be with her mother. They had wasted so much time. So many years had been wasted fighting and arguing and being mad about things that really didn't seem all that important now. All the time that had been wasted not speaking to each other. The weeks, months, and years of each other's lives that they had missed. If these moments now were the only time that they had left together, then she wanted to spend it here. Even if her mother never woke up again, at least they were together now. At least somehow they were making up for all that time they'd spend apart.

_She froze as the doorknob turned. It was too late to get down without being caught. Her mother would hear the noise and see the open window. It was too late. Her right foot was perched on the window sill and her left leg was mid-air. Even if she jumped down right now she would still get caught. Her mother would hear the thud as her feet hit the floor. And she would make the logical conclusions when she saw the open window. There was just no way that she could jump down and close the window in time to not get caught. All Lorelai could do was stare at the door as it opened, frozen in place._

_Emily pushed the door open. "Lorelai, I think we need to-" She stopped talking when she spotted her daughter at the window. Closing her eyes for a moment, she sighed, trying to calm her rising temper. Emily wished that she could say she was surprised by the sight before her, yet she wasn't. Her daughter was a master at sneaking out of the house. _

_Lorelai watched as Emily's face fell. She knew that she was not going to be able to talk her way out of this one. For a second, she was tempted to tell her mother that it wasn't what it looked like. But it was. Her mother would never believe anything else._

"_Lorelai, could you please come down from there?" Emily asked, a familiar tone in her voice. It was a mixture of annoyance and disappointment._

_Lorelai sighed as her feet hit the floor. At least she had tried. "I don't suppose that I can talk my way out of this one, can I?" she asked, trying to lighten the mood. She stood up straight, smiling that mischievous grin at her mother._

_Emily shook her head. "Sometimes I don't know what to do with you, Lorelai," she sighed, her hand still clutching the door knob._

"_You could let me go to the party," Lorelai suggested. Emily didn't have to reply to her daughter. Lorelai could read her mother's face and tell that was not going to happen. Her mother didn't even crack a smile. _

"_Your father specifically told you that you were not allowed to go, Lorelai. Why can't you accept that? Why do you have to insist on doing everything that we forbid you to do? For the life of me I cannot understand it."_

"_Because it isn't fair, Mom!" She sat down on her bed. Rather, she plopped down on the bed. "This is important to me."_

_Emily huffed. "All parties are important to you, Lorelai." She finally let go of the doorknob, moving into the room._

"_This is different, Mom. Amanda Kelly and I grew up together. How can I not be at her fifteenth birthday party? She let me sit next to her on the first day of kindergarten when no one else liked me. She laughs at my stupid jokes."_

"_Lorelai, your father said no." Emily came to a stop in front of her daughter._

_Lorelai sighed. "He said no because he hates Amanda's dad. It's not fair that I can't go because our parents don't get along. It's not our fault that Mr. Kelly and Dad got into a fight on the golf course last week!"_

"_Your father does not hate Hayden Kelly. They do business together."_

"_Oh come on, Mom. I'm not that clueless. I know that Dad dated Amanda's mom back when they were like my age and Amanda's dad is still jealous."_

_Emily had to conceal the urge to laugh. Her daughter was right. It was as stupid as that, jealousy about something that happened twenty-five years ago. She looked over at her daughter. Why was she going to do this? Emily shook her head, wondering how she had let her guard down so quickly this time. She just hoped it wouldn't backfire in her face. "Your father is in his study. He has a phone conference at seven o'clock. It is supposed to last at least an hour."_

_Lorelai didn't understand her mother. "What are you –"_

"_If your father catches you, I will not stand behind you. I will deny all of this ever happened. And if you are not home by eleven o'clock, I will send your father up here to find you. And you know what will happen when he discovers that you are not in your room."_

_Lorelai broke out into a smile. She pounced off the bed to hug her mother, thanking her repeatedly._

_Emily remained still as her daughter threw her arms around her. "This is a one-time thing, Lorelai. I will not take your side over your father. Do you understand me?"_

"_Yes, Mom. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" she gushed before running over to the window._

"_Do not make me regret this," Emily warned. "And use the back door, Lorelai. You're going to break your neck climbing out that window one day."_

That was the one and only time her mother actually let her sneak out of the house. Lorelai didn't really know why her mother had let her do it. It was a rather uncharacteristic moment for Emily Gilmore. Yet somehow they had found a common ground that night. They had connected in a way that they never did again.

Moving away from the window, Lorelai turned around to face her mother. Turning her head to the side she looked down at the woman lying there. It had never really struck her before how, but her mother was quite a beautiful woman. Her auburn-colored hair was so vibrant. Even flat and in need of style it was still bright and colorful. Its vibrancy took away from the bruises on her face, surrounding her in a peaceful aura. Somehow the hint of her mother's grey roots only made her seem even more human. Not even Emily Gilmore could escape the signs of aging. She was no longer as scary and intimidating as Lorelai had always perceived her. She was just an average woman trying to live her life as best she could. They were quite alike in that respect. Actually they were quite alike in many respects. It had just taken Lorelai a long time to realize that.

Timidly, she reached out her hand. Holding it inches from her mother's hairline, she finally moved her fingers. When her mother didn't react to her touch, she caressed the silky hair between her fingertips. It was so thin and fine. The red highlights sparkled against Lorelai's pale fingers. She ran her fingertips along the side of her mother's face, tracing the outline of her cheekbone. Her mother had such defined cheekbones. There was no expression on her face yet somehow she could almost see the hint of a smile. Her mother really was quite a beautiful woman. She had never actually noticed that before. Emily Gilmore was always attractive and put together. Yet never before had Lorelai just stood there and really looked at her mother. Never before had she taken the time to pay that much attention to her.

As her eyes scanned her mother's face she kept finding something new to occupy her gaze. The perfect curve of her eyebrows. The contour of her chin. The fine lines around the corners of her eyes. The shape of her nose. The taut skin of her neck. It all made her mother seem so normal and so un-Emily Gilmore. Never before had she really paid this much attention to her mother. So much wasted time.

* * *

Shutting the door to their bedroom, he stood outside of it for a moment. Leaning back against the door he looked at the painting adorning the upstairs hallway. It was from one of their trips to Greece. Or maybe it was from Bulgaria. Yes, it was Bulgaria. They had met an art dealer in Sofia, the friend of one of Richard's business acquaintances. Richard hadn't been too wild about the painting when he first saw it, but Emily had loved it. The elegant paint colors and the inspired brush strokes feverishly made by the painter immediately caught her eye. The large painting arrived two weeks after they returned home. It had now been hanging in the hallway for nearly ten years. Richard walked past the painting as he made his way down the hall. He had to get back to the hospital and back to his wife. 

As he reached the final step of the stairs, Richard found himself walking towards the living room instead of the door. He stood in the doorway, looking around the dark house. He had been about to walk out the door and go back to the hospital. Yet he felt drawn to this room. It almost felt as if his wife were here. The rest of the house felt so empty. Their house was always so full of life; Emily's spirit seemed to be everywhere. She was somehow part of every room in the place. Every room had her touch. She had designed and redecorated them all many times during the past forty years. Every element of the inside and outside of the house radiated her personality. It was all her. So little of him. She would ask his opinion but he would always brush her off, telling her to pick whatever design pleased her. Yet without her there the house was empty and lifeless. It just wasn't the same place. If she didn't come back home … it would never be home again.

_Emily sat down on the couch, a glass of water in her left hand. The room was only lit by a small lamp in the far corner and the moonlight coming from the windows. In her right hand she held a small pill. She put it in her mouth and swallowed, followed by a sip of the water to wash it down. She leaned against the arm rest, placing her forehead against her hand. Silence. It was wonderful. Yet it was soon shattered as she heard her husband bellowing for her down the hallway. Well, he wasn't bellowing. It just sounded that way as the noise reverberated in her head. She ignored her husband, knowing he would eventually find her. And when he did perhaps he would see that she did not feel well and leave her alone._

"_Emily… what are you doing in here? It's almost time for bed." Richard reached for the lamp, flicking the knob. "And why are you sitting in the dark?"_

"_Can you leave that off?" she asked, flinching at the sudden illumination of the room._

_Richard could tell from the tone of her voice that Emily was not in a good mood. He quickly turned the switch, shutting off the lamp. He then circled the couch, moving around to stand in front of his wife. "Are you all right?" he asked, looking down at her._

"_I'm fine," she stated, not opening her eyes or even moving. Most of the time he was in his own world. Yet when she wanted most to be left alone, he was there standing in front of her and wanting to know what she was doing._

"_You don't look fine," he countered, looking her over. She did look a bit pale. Then again the only light in the room was from the moon. However, he could tell that something was not quite right._

_Emily sighed, opening her eyes and lifting her head up to look at him. "I have a headache, Richard. It has been a long day."_

"_Then why don't we go up to bed?"he suggested_

"_Yes, I'm sure," she snapped. "Just go to bed and I'll be up eventually." She closed her eyes again. If only he would just leave her alone!_

_The tone of her voice startled him and Richard moved to sit down next to her. Emily didn't look at him or even acknowledge that she was aware he had sat down beside her. Richard took the glass from her hand. She could hear him placing it down on the table. He then slid his hand across her shoulders and back, putting his arm around her. She didn't fight him, but allowed him to move her body next to his. He finally pulled her against him, laying her head in his lap. _

_As she felt her husband's hand running through her hair, Emily drew up her legs. She allowed herself to give in to her husband. Lying against him, she let herself relax. It was rare that they had a quiet, peaceful moment between just the two of them. It was a very rare occurrence these days._

_Richard brushed her hair from her face, smiling down at the woman he adored. It was wonderful to have her lying in his arms, neither saying a word. He looked down at her, her eyes closed, her hand resting on his knee. In her face, he could see the very fine lines of a sixty year old woman. Yet he could also see something that no one else could. He could see the young woman that he had fallen in love with so many years ago. He could see the woman who had given birth to his child. And he could see the woman who had stood with him outside of a nursery, watching their newly-born grandchild sleep. In these moments she was the only person in his life. She was the one person who had always been there. Even when she didn't want to, she would take his side. She always stood behind him or next to him and did whatever he needed her to do. Rarely did she complain. She was just there beside him. Always. No questions asked. _

* * *

Lorelai sat in her mother's room, the TV remote in her hands. Richard wasn't back from the house yet. She had taken the extra chair from the other side of the room and brought it around to where she was sitting to use it as a foot rest. Her legs were now stretched out before her, her feet propped up by the back of a chair. This was about as comfortable as she was going to get, sitting next to her mother's, bed flipping through the channels on the TV. She was going back and forth between two soap operas. One was about people in a hospital and the other was about some town under a magical spell. Neither one was very good, but it made the time go by. The cheesy acting and the lame plot lines were at least laughable. 

Every once in a while, she would look over at her mother. She knew that her mother did not like watching television. It was all so mindless and poorly written. She had the DVD player Lorelai had brought her in the bedroom, but she didn't watch television very often. It would make her furious to know that her unconscious self was listening to soap operas. Many times had she gone on a rant about how amoral and disgraceful they were. Lorelai really wasn't a big fan of them either. Part of Lorelai hoped that her mother would be so annoyed that she would open her eyes, snapping at her daughter to turn off the TV. Yet in the back of her mind, Lorelai knew that was not going to happen.

Emily looked better today than she had days ago when she had been brought in to the hospital. Her bruises were not as bad as they had been before. She was starting to look more like Emily Gilmore again. Yet she still was not showing any signs of response to any of them. Not Richard. Not Rory. And definitely not to her. No one knew anything.

"Damn it, Mom." She clicked off the TV. She couldn't pay attention to it with her mother lying there next to her.

All she could think about was her mother and how messed up things had gotten between them.

_Lorelai sat on the edge of her bed. Rory was asleep in her basinet. She was almost too big for it. Soon Lorelai was going to have to find somewhere else for Rory to sleep. She didn't have the money to buy her a proper crib. And she couldn't ask Mia for help. Mia had already done so much for them. She had done too much for them. It wasn't right to keep asking things of her._

_It had been a long day. A large number of guests had checked out today and their rooms were already booked out to new guests. Donna, the other maid, had called in sick and that left Lorelai to clean all the rooms herself. It had taken a very long time and she was dead tired now. Thankfully Rory had fallen asleep quickly after Lorelai fed her._

_Reaching over to open the drawer that was next to her pull-out bed, Lorelai stuck her hand inside. She pulled out a small white envelope. Inside were three photographs. For some reason, looking at them always made her sad. Yet she couldn't not look at them. Something inside of her wanted to see them and wanted to be reminded. She wanted to warn the people in the photos. She wanted to tell them to do things differently and to become different people. She wanted to warn them what would happen if they didn't change, if they didn't do things differently._

_Lorelai brushed her fingers across the first photo. It was taken years ago when Lorelai herself was a little girl. It was only ten years before, but it felt like a lifetime ago. It felt like she hadn't been a child in a long, long time. She was lying in the snow, her arms spread out to her sides. Richard had taken the photo while Emily complained that Lorelai was getting her coat dirty. She had smiled and thrashed around in the snow anyways. They were happy that day. In spite of her mother's complaining, they were happy. It had been such a fun day. Yet now it was sad to think back to that day. It was almost to the point where Lorelai didn't even remember that day. It didn't feel real anymore. It felt like someone else's memory. As she looked at the photo she found herself wishing the man who took the photo and the woman who had stood next to him were her parents. They weren't the man and woman she had run away from. They were different people. Somehow they were different people back then._

_The next photo was of her mother. It appeared to have been taken some time during the 1950s as her mother looked to be about ten or eleven years old. She was standing next to a river or lake. There were people in a raft behind her. Her mother had a leash in her hands and was looking down at a dog next to her. This did not look very much like an Emily Gilmore photo. She just looked like a little girl, an average little girl. That was not how Lorelai had pictured her mother. It was hard to believe that Emily Gilmore had once been a little girl herself. Lorelai had always wished that she could have known that girl. She looked like she was a fun person. Lorelai wished that that girl, too, were her mother. Maybe the two of them would have been friends._

_The third photo was also of her mother. She was a teenager in the photo or perhaps in her early twenties. She was dressed in a skirt and blouse and had a few books in her arms. There was some guy standing next to her, but Lorelai had never known who he was. Emily had a huge smile on her face and her eyes were looking over at the man next to her. It was clear that they had been laughing about something and someone had taken the photograph suddenly. Her mother looked so happy and carefree. She was so beautiful. The inscription "Preston and Emily" on the back had never meant anything to her before. It was a black and white photo, but you could almost see how red her hair was and how bright her eyes were. She was stunning. It was hard to believe that woman was her mother. She would liked to have known that happy, smiling young woman. She wished that woman could be her mother._

_Lorelai suddenly looked up when she heard a noise. Mia had opened the door and was watching her._

"_Is everything all right?" Lorelai asked, quickly putting the photos back into the envelope. She didn't think that she could have forgotten a room. She had made sure that they were all prepared for the guests._

_Mia nodded. "The Inn is fine. I was just checking on you." She watched as Lorelai put the envelope back into the drawer. This wasn't the first time she had found Lorelai staring at whatever was inside the envelope. She could tell they were photos. And she could probably indentify the people in the photos, even if she'd never seen them before._

"_We're fine," Lorelai smiled, looking over at a sleeping Rory. "Rory's fine." She smiled at Mia. How could she have been so lucky to find a woman like Mia who would take in her and her baby and give them a home and a job? It had been a miracle. Mia was their miracle._

"_What about you?" Mia asked. She finally stepped inside the room as she asked her question._

"_I'm fine, too. Like usual."_

_Mia smiled half-heartedly. She didn't know Lorelai that well yet, but she knew her well enough to know what was bothering the young woman. "You miss her," she surmised, sitting down in an old chair close to Lorelai. It squeaked as she sat down and they both cringed, looking over towards Rory. Thankfully, she didn't wake up. _

"_Who?" Lorelai knew exactly whom Mia was referring to. She just couldn't admit it. She couldn't admit that she was thinking about her mother. No, it was easier to forget. It was easier to forget about her parents, to pretend that they didn't exist anymore. It was less painful that way. If she could just forget about them and about their past, then she could move on with her life. Thinking about them would only hold her back. She had to just forget about them all together._

"_You know who…" Mia hinted, uncertain of how far she should push the young woman._

"_I'm fine," Lorelai shrugged. "Just tired, that's all."_

_Mia knew not to press her any further. If Lorelai wanted to talk, then she would come to her instead. "Ok, then. Get some sleep."_

_Lorelai nodded, watching as Mia shut the door behind herself._

"You know," Lorelai sighed, looking at her mother's unconscious body. "I'd give just about anything for you to wake up and start yelling at me right now. I'd give just about anything to hear your voice again."

* * *

"The phone is ringing," Sweetie announced. 

Emily looked around, a bit confused. They were at the house in Hartford. It looked almost like the present times. The upholstery and carpet were different, though. Emily looked down at her feet. They hadn't had this dark beige Berber carpet in at least fifteen years.

"Don't answer it," Sweetie warned, reaching out to stop Emily from moving forward to pick up the phone.

They both watched as Emily emerged from the kitchen and crossed the room in front of them. She was no longer a young woman anymore. In fact, she was almost an exact replica of the present day Emily. However, she had longer hair and a worse fashion sense.

"The eighties were not a good decade for fashion," Sweetie commented, shaking her head.

"I had a lot of big belts," Emily noticed. "That wasn't one of the more flattering ones either."

She was wearing a patterned silk blouse and a dark green skirt. It would have been a fine ensemble were it not for the large belt. It did make her look quite thin, though.

Emily watched herself as she picked up the phone. She didn't have to hear what the woman on the other end was saying to know the conversation. No, she knew those words by heart. She had heard them replaying so many times in her head after that day. They had echoed so loudly in her ears as she lay in bed at night. And they had replayed in her mind often as she would sit in the audience at a DAR lecture or at the salon. She knew those words by heart.

"Is this Mrs. Gilmore?" a woman's voiced asked from the other end of a phone line.

"Yes, who is this?"

"My name is Mia. You don't know who I am, but I'm calling for your daughter."

"Is she all right?" Emily hadn't heard from Lorelai in months. No one knew where she was.

Richard, without Emily's knowledge, had hired a private investigator to find his daughter but even that man had come up empty. To this day he didn't know that Emily had found the paperwork in his office when she would wander downstairs after having sent the maid and the cook home early.

"She's fine, Mrs. Gilmore. That's why I'm calling. She doesn't know that I'm doing this, but I know that I'd be sick with worry if my child up and left without telling me." Emily was silent. Mia chose to continue speaking. "She's OK. The baby is OK, too. I'll take care of them."

"Where is she?" Emily finally managed to ask.

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Gilmore, but I can't tell you that. I promised her that I wouldn't call her parents to come get her." Mia thought that she heard a sniff coming from Emily's end of the line. "I'll make sure that nothing happens to them. They'll be fine. She's a very strong-willed young woman. She'll be OK." The line was silent. Finally, Emily heard a click and the dial tone lulled in her ear.

Both Emily and Sweetie remained silent. They watched as Emily stood motionless, the phone still in her hand. She couldn't move. In a mere matter of seconds, her entire world had just stopped. Lorelai was gone. She was gone for good.

Emily finally broke the silence, unable to stand the sight of her former self. "I can't watch this. I can't go through this again." She closed her eyes, turning away from the sight of herself standing helplessly by the phone. It was too much. This pain she didn't want to remember. Her heart had broken during that phone call. She was never again the same woman. Sometimes she wished that she hadn't picked up the phone at all. It might have been easier if she just hadn't known. If she hadn't known that Lorelai had turned someone else. If she hadn't known that Lorelai had replaced her. It might have been easier that way.

As she spoke the scene disappeared and Emily and Sweetie were back in their dorm room.

"Here again?!" Emily was exasperated. None of this made sense. And it was starting to get annoying.

Sweetie looked at her, about to speak.

"Don't you dare tell me that this is all in my head and that I know all the answers," Emily warned. Her voice was stern and angry.

"You do."

"No, I don't!" Emily protested. "I don't understand any of this and, frankly, I'm getting tired of it, Melinda!"


	13. Chapter 13

**CHAPTER THIRTEEN**

"It's all in here, Emily." Sweetie brought her hand up to her heart, tapping it lightly with her fingers. "You have a choice. Has it been enough?" she asked, trying to explain the simplicity of it all to her friend.

"Has what been enough?" Emily asked. Nothing made sense right now. Melinda was always so clear, yet this time she was talking in circles and not making sense. Enough of what?

"Can you let go right now and not have any regrets? Can you never see Richard, Rory, and Lorelai again and spend eternity in peace? That's what you have to decide, Emily."

Emily's brow furrowed. "I don't understand. Why do I have to choose? How can it be up to me to decide? How can I be the one who decides that kind of thing?" she ranted. There were so many questions and yet no answers.

Melinda stepped closer to her best friend. "I died before my time, Emily. I didn't get to say goodbye." She closed her eyes for a second. "Yes, I had been ill and I knew that I probably wasn't going to make it … but I could have never known that I would collapse in the sun room one random afternoon and never wake up again. I didn't get to make things right with the people that I love." She moved to sit down on the couch, motioning for Emily to join her. "Preston and I had an argument that morning. A really stupid, pointless argument. But it's too late for me because I can never make things right for him again. I can never take back what we said to each other and the way things ended between us. He'll never forgive himself for storming off to work and not getting to say goodbye to me." She looked directly at Emily as she spoke. "You have to make a choice. You can make the choice that I couldn't. I didn't get to choose. I didn't get a second chance. It was just over. But you … you can wake up if that's what you want."

Emily shook her head. She didn't know what to say. "I don't know what I want, Melinda." She looked away, feeling ashamed that she couldn't just make a decision. It was too much. There were too many things to consider and to think about. How could she decide something like this in a matter of mere seconds? She needed more time.

"You have to decide, Emily. You have the power to decide. I know it sounds cliché. And I know that you hate being backed into a corner. You like control and order and to be in charge of things." She could see the bewildered look on Emily's face. "I know that this sounds crazy, Emmy, but all you have to do is wake up if you want to go back. You can still make things right with your daughter. It's going to take time, but it will happen. You both love each other so much and that's all that matters. If you want to fix things, then you can. There is still time left."

"Will I see you again?" Emily asked. She suddenly realized that if she went back then she'd have to let go of Melinda again. She would have to lose her best friend all over again.

Melinda shook her head. Emily felt the tears stinging her eyes yet she didn't turn away like she did with everyone else. Sweetie was the only person that she would allow to see her cry. She had cried in front of Richard a few times, but Sweetie had seen her through the best and the worst times in her life. She had been there in the absolute worst moments when Emily wouldn't allow anyone else to comfort her. Melinda had always been there, even before Richard.

"I miss you so much." Emily's voice broke as the memory of losing her best friend overwhelmed her emotions. Holding Melinda's hand as Preston had stood in the doorway, unable to watch his wife's heart monitor transition to a flat, lifeless rhythm. Paul had stood at the foot of the bed, watching his mother with empty eyes as she left them.

"I miss you, too, Emmy. But you have the memories of all the fun we had together over the years." She laughed as the memories came flooding back. "When we got arrested for being in a cemetery at two in the morning … and how mad your father was when he came to pick us up at the police station … Or when I got a tattoo at seventeen after my break-up with Harold …" She giggled. "You remember Harold, don't you?" She laughed again. "And then I had to hide it from my mother the next morning and you told her that I'd been bitten by a dog … You still have all of those memories with you." Sweetie smiled at her best friend. "That girl that you said you miss… She's you, Emily. She is still inside of you. All you have to do is just let her out. Stop trying to be perfect and just be you."

Emily nodded. "I know what I want now." She looked at her best friend. "I have to find a way to fix my mistakes." She sighed. "I do love my daughter. I just … it never seems like we're on the same page."

Sweetie smiled, content with the choice that Emily had made. She always knew that in the end Emily would make the right decision.

"I have so many wonderful memories with Richard," she smiled. "I have a lifetime of memories with him. It would be hard, but I know that he would be all right if I didn't wake up. He's a strong man and he would be able to go on with all the memories that we shared. I don't have enough with Lorelai. It isn't enough, Melinda. There is so much left to be resolved between us. I want to see her get married. I don't know if that will ever happen, but I want to be there if it does. And if she ever has more children … I want to be there to see them grow up this time. I don't want to miss out on any more of her life than I already have. I want to be a part of her life more than just on Friday nights. And I want her to want me in her life. It hasn't been enough! I have to go back to her!"

"You and Lorelai have a lot of living left to do and many years left to share with each other," Melinda smiled. It was going to be a very long time before she would get to see Emily again.

"Can I hug you?" Emily asked. In all this time, they hadn't had any physical contact.

Sweetie nodded. "You'd better make it last. We're not going to see each other for a very long time." Emily stepped closer to her friend. She laid her head on Sweetie's shoulder. In that moment, she felt like the eight-year-old girl she had been when they first met.

When she let go, Sweetie was gone and she stood alone in the empty dorm room.

* * *

She could hear an incessant beeping sound. It just kept beeping every five or six seconds nonstop. It was hard to sleep with that noise in her head. She opened her eyes, trying to see what it was that was making the noise. Her surroundings didn't look familiar.

"Sweetie," she mumbled, hoping to spot her friend nearby. The light was too bright for her eyes and she had to close them again.

Lorelai nearly fell out of her chair. Her legs scrambled to the floor as she stood up next to her mother's bed.

"Mom? Can you hear me? Mom…" She couldn't have imagined that, could she? Her mother had spoken. She had said something. It wasn't her imagination. It couldn't have been her imagination. It was too real. It was real. Emily had spoken. She had.

"Lorelai?" Emily finally asked, opening her eyes again. She couldn't move. It hurt too much. Looking up at her daughter's bewildered face, she didn't know what to think. "Where am I?" she managed to ask as her limited range of view began to take in her surroundings.

Lorelai breathed a sigh of relief at the sound of her mother's voice. The beautiful sound of her voice. It wasn't her imagination. It was really her mother. She had to take a deep breath before she could speak. So many emotions that had been welled up inside of her were all trying to escape at the same time. "You're in the hospital, Mom," she choked out, overwhelmed by the situation. Her mother was awake. She was finally awake. It felt like the weight that had been pressing down on her chest was lifted and all of a sudden she could breathe freely again.

"The hospital…" she choked out. Her throat felt sore and dry. Emily tried to sit up, but she couldn't find the strength. She tried to move her arm, but it was held firmly against her body. Her muscles felt stiff and sore. And her head ached. It was a dull ache, but it was enough to confuse her and make her feel disoriented. She couldn't really do anything at the moment but look up at her daughter.

Lorelai stood next to her mother, basically unable to move herself or really do anything but stare at her mother. Her eyes. Those eyes. Those bright, beautiful eyes. She had missed them. "You had an accident at the house. Do you remember?"

Emily shook her head. She didn't remember anything. She tried to recall the last memory she had, but nothing came. And thinking only made her head hurt worse.

"An accident?" she finally asked. Her voice was low and soft. It was not her usual tone. Emily then realized that her left arm moved. She looked down at herself. Her right arm was in a sling and she was wearing a hospital gown. Usually that would have horrified her, yet it didn't this time. She was starting to make sense of this. She was in a hospital. Something had happened to her. She had done something to her arm and the fact that it was uncomfortable to move her legs and her lower body meant that she'd hurt herself pretty badly. And that aching in her head. Something bad had definitely happened to her. Looking at the IV sticking out of her free hand, she finally shifted her gaze back to her daughter.

Lorelai looked up at her mother. "Do you want some water?" she asked.

Emily nodded and Lorelai picked up the glass that was next to the bed. "I haven't drank out of it yet," she informed her mother, knowing that the idea of spreading germs would keep her mother from drinking after her.

"Thank you," Emily smiled, slowly taking a sip from the plastic cup. The water felt like silk as it slid down her throat.

Lorelai shifted nervously, uncertain about how much she should tell her mother. "Uh … You fell in Dad's study. You don't remember anything?" she asked again. Lorelai blinked a few times. She'd never felt this way before. This was joy. This was happiness. This was gratefulness. In the last few days, she had started to let herself think that maybe her mother wouldn't wake up. She had started to wonder what her life would be like without Emily Gilmore. How would she deal with never hearing her mother yell at her again or never hearing the way her mother sighed when she would say something ridiculous at dinner and Emily would beg someone to change the subject? Yet now she wouldn't have to find out. She wouldn't know what it was like to lose her mother. And that felt oddly comforting and made her want to cry tears of joy. She'd never felt this way before. She had never actually been so grateful and so happy to just see her own mother.

"No, I don't remember anything." Emily looked at her daughter. No one else was in the room with them. It was just the two of them. She could see a confused look in Lorelai's eyes. This time she couldn't read what her daughter was thinking. Usually she could read her like a book. Lorelai was not hard to read and Emily could always tell what her child was thinking. Yet not this time. Nothing made sense right now. Her head hurt too much to try and figure it all out. She was tired. Very tired.

The two women looked at each other for a few moments, neither able to find the words to express their inner emotions. Emily looked up at her daughter. She was beautiful. Amazing. An amazing woman indeed. She hadn't raised her. Lorelai had raised herself. Yet some part of her was because of Emily and she took pride in that. She took pride in the little bit of her daughter's success that she could share. They were more alike than either of them had ever known or would ever admit.

Lorelai finally broke the silence. "I'm going to go find your doctor." She stood at her mother's bedside for a few more moments, before she finally broke their gaze, about to turn away and walk to the door.

Emily reached out and grasped her daughter's hand. "Wait…" She still felt disoriented and uncertain about what was going on. All she knew was that she didn't want Lorelai to leave. She didn't want her daughter to disappear. She felt as if she'd lose her if she let her walk out of the room.

Lorelai stopped and turned back to her mother. "Yeah, Mom?" she asked, looking down at their hands. When was the last time they had ever held hands? Her mother's skin was warm and soft and it made her feel like a little girl again, safe in the security of her mother's embrace.

Emily looked at her daughter. She felt like she was seeing her for the first time. Something about her daughter seemed different than she had ever remembered seeing before. "I'm glad you're here."

A smile slowly appeared on Lorelai's face. Her eyes narrowed. For a second, she wondered if her mother really did have a head injury. "I'll be right back, Mom. I promise. I'll go get a nurse and be back in just a moment."

Emily nodded and laid her head back against the pillow. She felt different, but she didn't know why. She didn't know what had happened or how long she had been here, but something had changed during that time.

As Lorelai had promised, she reappeared in a matter of seconds. "The nurse said she would page Dr. Reynolds. He'll be here in just a few minutes."

Emily had pushed herself into a sitting position. It was a struggle and Lorelai had to help her to sit up. "Why am I here?" she asked as Lorelai sat down next to her. It took Emily a moment to push her body, with her free arm, to turn towards her daughter. She had asked this question before, but it didn't make sense yet. It had yet to really sink into her mind.

Lorelai looked over at her mother. She still didn't quite look like Emily Gilmore. Even her eyes were different. Something about them looked different. In the past when she looked at her mother she could always see the hurt and pain that she'd caused. This time, she didn't see that anymore. It was like when she had been a little girl and her mother would do anything just to make her happy. "You fell a couple of days ago."

"How many days ago?" Emily asked.

"Um… a little over a week ago." Lorelai didn't want to give her the full details just yet.

Emily's eyes widened. "I fell and I've been unconscious for over a week?!"

Lorelai was afraid her mother was going to get agitated and she wouldn't know what to do. She had just gotten her back and she didn't want to do anything to upset her. "You hit your head pretty hard. You were in Dad's study and apparently you fell directly onto the hardwood floor. Dad and Rory found you unconscious before dinner."

"That explains the headache," she mused, absent-mindedly brushing her hand over the back of her head. It did feel a bit sore when she touched it. Then it hit her. "Your father found me? And Rory?" Her heart skipped a beat at the thought of her husband finding her unconscious. It was just like when she had found him after his heart attack. The fear that she had felt as she desperately searched for a pulse, praying that his heart was still beating. Rory had been so upset that night, seeing Richard like that.

"Rory is fine, Mom. She has been at Yale finishing her school work. We all knew that is what you'd want her to do."

Emily nodded. "Where is your father?" she asked. Her heart began to beat faster as she thought of what it must have been like for her husband these past few days. She did everything for him. He was always too busy and too preoccupied to notice just how much she did, but what had he done without her there?

"Rory and I made him go to Yale to turn in his grades." Lorelai suddenly felt bad for having sent him away. He should have been here when Emily woke up, not her. "But, he's been here the whole time. In fact, he's been sitting in this chair for days. Rory and I kept trying to convince him to go home or to go with us to get something eat, but he refused to leave you. He's been really worried, Mom."

Emily felt a wave of emotion rush over herself. It wasn't familiar. Usually she was in control of her emotions and this didn't happen.

"Rory, too," Lorelai added. "We made her stay at Yale. Dad and I knew that you wouldn't want her to get behind on her school work. But she called every day. She called numerous times every day to check on you. She's been so worried about you."

Lorelai leaned forward, resting her forearms on the side of her mother's bed. Her hand reached forward, but she stopped. She didn't know if she should or not. As she debated with herself, she finally placed her hand on top of her mother's arm. "We were all worried, Mom," she emphasized the 'we.' "The doctors didn't really seem to know anything. They all said you seemed to be fine, but no one knew why you weren't waking up. After a few days…"

Emily looked down at her daughter's hand as she spoke. She watched it resting on her arm, finally looking up at Lorelai again. An image of Lorelai outside, playing in the snow at two o'clock in the morning flashed in her mind and she smiled. She lifted her arm as Lorelai moved her hand. Emily brushed her hand across Lorelai's forehead, stroking her soft hair. "You were a beautiful little girl," she smiled again. Emily shook her head, running her finger down Lorelai's cheek. "We've wasted a lot of time, haven't we?" she asked, her voice low and soft.

Lorelai averted her eyes, looking down as her mother stroked the side of her face. How did her mother seem to know exactly what she was thinking? She could only nod in agreement. "We have time now," she finally stated, looking back up at Emily.

"Emily!" Joshua exclaimed, entering the room. His voice broke Emily and Lorelai from their gaze. "So glad to see you awake! You gave us quite a scare." Emily looked over at the man walking towards her, as Lorelai pushed herself out of the seat next to her mother's bed. She moved past Joshua so that he could get next to Emily to examine her.

"Joshua," she smiled. "I'd like to know why I am here and what is going on." She was back to her usual, demanding self.

"We'll get to that in a moment. I just need to ask you a few questions first." Emily rolled her eyes. He never combined his two selves. He was always either her and Richard's doctor or their friend. He was never both.

"Just follow the penlight," he instructed. Emily felt like a two year old at an eye doctor's appointment. "Good." He took her pulse, commenting "good" again. "What is your name?"

"You already told me my name, so even if I didn't remember it, it would be pointless to ask."

Lorelai smirked. That was her mother. In that moment she knew that her mother was going to be just fine. "All right then, what is her name?" Joshua asked, point toward Lorelai.

"Lorelai Victoria Gilmore."

"Where are we?" he asked.

"In a hospital."

"More specifically?"

"Hartford?" she guessed. "You could have taken me to any hospital in the state for all I know. That's not a fair question."

"All right," he conceded. "What is today's date?"

Emily was silent. She had no clue. She couldn't summon the last memory that she had. She had memories, but none of them were really clear as to which had occurred last in her mind. She couldn't really grasp anything as having occurred most recently.

"Ok, today's date is a hard one. What about the year?" Joshua prodded. "That should be an easy one."

"2007."

"Good," he smiled.

Lorelai let out a breath. She hadn't even noticed that she had been holding it in, waiting for her mother to reply.

"Can't you say anything more than 'good'?" Emily snapped. "Don't they teach you how to have a decent bedside manner in medical school? I know it's been a few decades, Joshua, but really … you'd think you got your medical degree from a trade school in Bangladesh!"

Joshua smiled, choosing to let her comment go. It was wonderful to have her snapping at him again. She'd been making snide comments to him since they were young and foolish. This was not the first, nor would it be the last, time she had questioned what he had learned in medical school. "What is the last thing you remember?" he asked.

Emily shook her head. "I don't know. I mean … it's there, I just don't know what was the last thing that happened." She looked from Joshua to Lorelai. "I have so many memories in my head." She smiled as an image of five-year-old Lorelai hiding in her closet came to mind. "So many memories," she whispered. "I just don't remember falling or anything like that, Joshua."

"Emily, you had a major trauma. You hit your head and you were unconscious for quite a while. It may just take a little bit of time for things to fully come back to you." Joshua reached out to touch her arm. "Emily, tell me this. How many children do you have?"

"One."

"Grandchildren?"

"One."

"Where did you go to college?"

"Smith."

"What did you study?"

"History."

"Where did we first meet?"

Emily smirked. "In a bar. You were half-drunk and clinging to Richard's arm to steady yourself."

Joshua grinned. "Good. You remember all of that – even though some of it might be worth forgetting," he added. His tone became more serious again. They both smiled at the fond memory. "That is a good sign, Emily. It just means that you need some time. You hit your head pretty hard and it may just take a little while for everything to make sense again. But it will eventually. You just have to give yourself some time to process everything that has happened to you. The memories will fall into place and you'll make sense of it all."

She sighed. "Where is Richard?" she asked. She wanted to see her husband. Everything would be all right, if she could just see her husband. She could look into his eyes and know the truth. Then she'd know that she was going to be fine.

"He's on his way," Lorelai announced. Emily looked up at her.

"He's been very worried about you," Joshua informed her.

"Really worried," Lorelai added. Emily smiled at her daughter. Lorelai wasn't just referring to Richard. She felt an odd feeling overcome her. It wasn't so much a sense of peace as a sense of understanding. Looking at her daughter, she knew that they would be OK. She knew that it was going to take time and that they were going to undoubtedly have many more fights in the future, but they would be OK. For the first time in a really long time, she felt like she and Lorelai were in the same place again. And she finally felt at peace with her daughter and their demons.

Joshua checked Emily's pulse once again, glancing up at her heart monitor, and made a few more notes in his chart before his pager went off. He had just started to explain to her some of the injuries she'd sustained during the fall. "I have to take this," he sighed. "I'll be back soon." Moving to the door, he looked back at Emily. "I'm glad you're back. Maria will be relieved."

"Maria?" she smiled, turning her head to the side a bit. She knew that he was relieved too. They had shared quite a special friendship themselves over the past forty-five years. He didn't have to admit to it, but she knew that he too was grateful that she was all right.

"Yes, Maria," he smiled, exiting the room.

"How do you feel?" Lorelai asked, sitting on the edge of her mother's bed.

"Like a rag doll," Emily admitted with a heavy sigh. "My arm, my wrist, my ankle … I must have broken or sprained every major bone in my body. How am I ever going to make it to Rory's graduation like this? I don't even know if I can walk by myself right now!"

"It could have been a lot worse. It looked really bad when you were lying in the office. The way you landed and how shallow you were breathing." She had to force herself not think about that image of her mother. "You're actually pretty lucky, Mom."

Emily looked up at her daughter. "Yes, I am," she smiled.

"Can I ask you something, Mom?"

"Of course, Lorelai. You can ask me anything."

Lorelai took a deep breath before speaking. "Do you think we'll ever be able to forgive each other?" she asked. "For everything that happened in the past..." She sighed. "It just … it doesn't seem as important any more, you know?"

Emily was silent for a moment, figuring out how to respond to her daughter. "I think that we already have forgiven each other in our own way."

"What do you mean?" Lorelai asked.

"I know that we've had our share of fights these past seven years, but at least we cared enough to fight." Emily laughed uncomfortably. "Maybe that is our way of learning forgiveness. I'd rather we were yelling at each other than not talking all together, like the way it was for so many years. Or when I used to have to trick you into calling me. Maybe just being a part of each other's lives these past few years is our way of moving on from what happened in the past."

"I kind of prefer it when we're not yelling. It's a lot easier to get along. And a lot more pleasant for everyone."

"Yes, it is," Emily agreed.

Lorelai looked down at her hands. They were folded nicely in her lap. "I do care, Mom. These past few days … The thought of you not being around … I just …"

"I know," Emily smiled, placing her hand atop her daughter's. "I know, Lorelai."

"Do you think we're going to be OK?" she asked, finally looking up at her mother.

Emily nodded. "I think we're still going to fight and annoy each other for years to come. I am going to criticize your decisions and you are going to complain about me every chance you get. But you're my daughter, Lorelai. I may not agree with the choices that you make and the way that you sometimes chose to live your life, but I'm never going to stop loving you. I never have, Lorelai. I never have," she repeated.

"I love you, too, Mom," she smiled. They were both silent. It had been many years since either of them had said those words. Many, many years. A lot had happened in those years, most of it bad. Yet all of that pain and hurt seemed so much less important now. Blame and placing fault didn't have as much weight now as it once had. It all seemed so trivial and meaningless now.

Lorelai took a deep breath. "Rory's going to be so excited to see you. She was really worried."

Emily smiled. This was their routine. They would connect and then one of them would change the subject when it got a little too uncomfortable.

Emily leaned her head back against the pillow. "Lorelai, I need you to be honest with me about something."

"What is it, Mom?" She was a bit apprehensive about what it was that her mother wanted to know.

"How bad do I look?" Emily asked. "I've been laying her for days. I must look like a nightmare."

Lorelai laughed, relieved by her mother's vanity. "Actually, Mom, you look like the most beautiful woman in the world right now."

Emily smiled.


	14. Chapter 14

**CHAPTER FOURTEEN**

The moment that Lorelai had called him, he was out of his office and in his car. It was a miracle that he didn't cause an accident or get pulled over on his way to the hospital. Yet nothing mattered but getting back to his wife. She was awake. Lorelai had said that she was awake and she seemed fine. It was a miracle. He had been given his miracle. His wife was awake and she was going to be fine. He couldn't remember a time when he had been so grateful and so relived.

As he approached Emily's room, Richard saw Lorelai sitting on the bed talking to her. Lorelai's hand was atop her mothers and they were both laughing. He smiled to see them together. Maybe it was a tragedy that was needed to bring them closer together. It warmed his heart to see his wife smile again and to see his daughter huddled next to her bed smiling. It had been many years since he had seen them like this. Many, many years. Perhaps the nightmare of this past week had been worth it, just to see this moment before him.

Emily was about to say something to Lorelai when she noticed her husband standing in the doorway. She bent her head to the side to see around her daughter. "I was wondering when you were going to show up," she teased with a smile.

Lorelai turned around to see her father. "I'll just give you guys a few minutes," she mumbled, knowing that neither of them was paying any attention to her. As she moved to the door, she looked back at them for a moment. She wanted someone to love her that much, to still be in love with her after over forty years of marriage and a lot of hurt and pain along the way. It was impossible to ask for the kind of love that her parents shared, but to find someone who would look at her like her father looked at her mother … She was happy, happy that her parents were together again.

"I'm sorry I wasn't here when you woke up," Richard said, sitting on the edge of the bed. He reached for his wife's hand, grasping it tightly. It was the first time in many days that he'd held her hand without having to be careful of the IV. Seeing it finally gone made him feel better about her recovery. "I've been sitting here for days waiting for you to open those beautiful eyes." His other hand brushed her cheek, savoring the moment that they had together after so long. To just be able to look into her eyes again was quite a miracle. It was all he had hoped and prayed for for days now. There were so many things that he needed to say to her.

"It's OK," Emily soothed. "Lorelai was here." She closed her eyes for a moment as she felt her husband's hand upon her cheek. They didn't need words to know what the other was feeling. She knew that Richard was relieved. And she knew that her husband was grateful to see her again.

Richard shook his head. "I've been so afraid that I'd never get to speak to you again, to tell you how sorry I am."

"For what?" she asked. "Did we have an argument before I fell?"

"No," he assured her. Richard took a deep breath, holding her hand within his own. "For so many things, Emily… I don't even know where to begin."

Emily let go of his hand, moving to touch his face. "It's OK, Richard. I understand," she smiled.

"It's going to be different from now on."

Emily nodded, smiling. For once she actually believed him. He'd told her many times that their lives were going to be different and he was going to work less and spend more time at home. It wasn't until now that she finally believed him.

"For one thing, I am never going to let you out of my sight again." Emily laughed. "I missed that," he grinned, touching the side of her face. "The way you smile." He ran his fingers across her lips. "The sound of your laughter... The look that you get in your eyes when something surprises you." He looked into her eyes once again. "Thank God, you're all right," he breathed, kissing her hand. "Thank you, God."

Emily looked up at her husband. "What happened?" she asked. Lorelai had begun to explain it to her, but it still wasn't clear. It wasn't clear in her mind. Lorelai kept telling her what had happened, but she still couldn't make sense of it. She needed to hear it from Richard to be able to understand it.

"You fell in the study." Richard rubbed her hand absent-mindedly as he looked at his wife who was trying to make sense of it all.

Emily closed her eyes. She was starting to remember the accident in bits and pieces. "I was trying to reach a book on the top shelf … I remember that."

Before she knew what was happening, she felt her ankle twist and her hand seemed to be getting farther and farther away from the book. Her entire body jerked to the right and her other hand reached out to grab onto anything it could find.

"My ankle twisted and I lost control of my body…" She could feel the snap in her ankle as it had given out on her.

Her head grazed the bookcase, her arm shielding her face as she fell to the ground. Her body met the ground with a loud thump and the sound of her head banging into the hardwood floor echoed in her ears loudly.

"It didn't even hurt when I hit the ground. I just remember lying there unable to move." She looked at her husband, yet she didn't see him but her crumpled body on the floor.

She was lying on a hardwood floor barely conscious and the two most important people in her life were all she could think about. The happiness she'd shared with Richard and the sadness that had always clouded her relationship with her only child. If she didn't make it, she could live with how she had left things with Richard. He would eventually be all right and would know that she had loved him. Yet would Lorelai know the same? Would she know that her mother had loved her, even if she didn't agree with the way her mother had shown her love? Would she ever really know how much she meant and how much she was loved? Emily knew Richard would tell her, but would Lorelai believe him?

"All I could think about was you and Lorelai."

Richard grasped her hand tighter.

She was just too tired to figure it out right now. Thinking required too much work. She'd rest. Then she'd figure out what to do. Emily's eyes slid closed and she drifted out of consciousness.

"I tried to stay awake until you got home, but I couldn't. I felt so tired." Emily closed her eyes, allowing herself to fully accept the memory of her accident.

Richard remained silent as he sat by her side. He couldn't allow himself to think about how horrible it must have been for her to lie there and know that he wasn't around to come help her and to know that she was all alone.

Then she laughed. Richard looked up at his wife, surprised by her reaction.

"That's not a very good story, is it?" she asked. "I nearly killed myself trying to read a book."

Richard chuckled softly. "No, it isn't a very good story," he agreed. "But none of that matters now."

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"For what?" he asked.

Emily reached her left hand up to run it down his shoulder. "For being so careless and causing you all so much worry. Joshua told me how much I scared you."

"We've all been worried, Emily. Especially Lorelai," he added. "This has been quite hard on her." He was so grateful to have his wife back and to be sitting here talking to her again.

Emily smiled, cocking her head just a bit to the side. "Are you going to just keep looking at me like that or are you going to finally kiss me?" she asked.

Richard leaned towards her, pressing his lips against hers. It felt like he hadn't kissed her in a really long time. Like it was new and exciting all over again. When they finally broke the kiss, he pressed his forehead against hers. "Thank you, God," he whispered. Emily smiled, grateful to be loved by such a man as her husband.

"Grandma! Oh my God!"

Richard and Emily both turned towards the sound of Rory's voice. Richard moved aside so that Rory could hug her Grandmother. "I'm so glad you're awake!" She threw her arms around her grandmother, elated to see her again. "We've all been so worried," she gushed, pulling back to stand next to Richard. "The doctors said nothing was wrong with you, but you weren't waking up and no one knew why and-" She felt Richard place his arm around her and realized that she was rambling.

"I'm going to be just fine," Emily reassured her granddaughter, reaching out to squeeze Rory's hand. "Just a few broken bones, that's all. A few weeks of physical therapy and I will be back to my old self again."

Lorelai stood in the doorway. Those were the words she had expected her mother to say to her. She had expected Emily to tell her that she was going to be fine and that all would be well again soon. Yet she hadn't. Instead her mother had been honest with her and shared her pain and her sorrows. Now she was being the strong grandmother for Rory. But she had been different with Lorelai. Different for their first time in their relationship.

Rory smiled. "I hope so, Grandma. You've only got two weeks to get ready for my graduation! I can't do it without you and Grandpa there, too." She hugged her grandmother again as Lorelai and Richard stood to the side watching them. Lorelai looked up at her father and they both smiled.

* * *

Preston Nelson stood outside of Emily's room. He'd come by to see Joshua and learned from his son Paul that Emily was in a room down the hall. He had debated stopping by to check on her. It had been a while since they had seen each other. They hadn't talked too much after Melinda's death. There was an unspoken understanding between the two of them. They were the two most important people in her life. They didn't need any words or gestures to express their grief to each other. Yet it still hurt to see each other at times and to realize the magnitude of his wife's loss.

After a few months it was just too hard to be around each other. They both missed her too much and the other's presence brought back too many memories, even if they were happy ones. It was still painful to think about the loss of the few months that they were supposed to have left with her. Melinda had been ill; she wasn't going to survive. Everyone, including herself, had accepted that. Yet they didn't know that her remaining time would be cut short so suddenly and that no one would have the chance to say goodbye to her. No one could have known that she'd trip over her grandson James' shoes and hit her head on the brick surrounding the fireplace. And no one could have predicted that she'd never wake up again, not even in her final moments.

Emily saw someone outside the door. Preston had no choice but to go inside now. "Paul told me you were here," he explained, entering the room. It was just her inside. Richard and Lorelai must have been down the hall somewhere. Just the sight of her made his heart ache. Three years had passed and yet he still wasn't used to being in the same room with her and Melinda not being there. They were always together, it seemed. He had met Melinda and Emily was standing next to her. He had married Melinda and Emily was standing next to her. Their first child was born and Emily was standing next to her. They'd always been part of each other's lives.

"Yeah, a minor fall, but I'm fine now." She looked down at her arm. "Well, I will be all right again soon." She tried to smile and laugh. "I'm battered and broken for the moment, it seems, but I'll be better in no time."

"I'm glad to hear it," he smiled.

They both looked at each other in silence. Emily could still see the twenty-six year old man that had stolen her best friend's heart. She could remember standing outside the delivery room when he had walked out with his first grandchild in his arms. And she could see the man that had stood in front of his wife's casket and realized that he would never see her again. In that moment, she was grateful to be alive. She was grateful that her husband would not know Preston's pain.

"She forgives you, you know…" He looked at her oddly, not understanding what she meant. "For that morning and what you said to each other." Emily didn't know where the words were coming from. In a way, she didn't really know what she was saying.

"How do you know…" his voice trailed off. He'd never told anyone about the fight that he and Melinda had that morning. He shook his head. It didn't matter how she knew. He didn't even want to know how she knew.

Emily smiled at her old friend. "I miss her so much," she sighed. "Every day I think about her."

He nodded. "Me too. Sometimes I think that I'm forgetting the sound of her voice. Or the way she looked. The most random moments of our life come back to me and it stops me in my tracks every time. Even now, three years later."

Emily was about to say something when Richard came back into the room. "Preston, how nice to see you," Richard said. Preston turned around to greet Richard, breaking his gaze from Emily.

Emily watched as the two men shook hands. Despite the fact that she and Melinda had been such close friends, their husbands had never really had a chance to spend very much time together. Their children were nearly the same age, as were their grandchildren. Yet despite all that they had in common they had never really formed a significant friendship.

"I should be going. I just thought I'd stop by to see you as I was already here. You look wonderful, Emily. I'm glad that you're all right."

"Thank you, Preston," Emily smiled.

"No, Emily," he shook his head. "Thank you."

The two of them smiled, neither one wanting to look away from the other. It was almost as if they could feel Melinda with them.

"What was that about?" Richard asked after Preston had left the room.

"He misses his wife."

"You know," Richard said, sitting down next to Emily. He absently reached for her hand. "I never really understood why it was so difficult for him to move on after she died. I mean, it's been three years now."

"He didn't get the chance to say good-bye. None of us did. She was just gone one day and we were left with her body."

Richard nodded. He still felt terribly guilty for having missed Melinda's funeral. He'd been such a fool. There were a few times when Melinda had told him off, telling him what a pigheaded fool he was for hurting Emily. Yet she had been protecting her best friend. And he should have been at her funeral with his wife and not playing golf with his clients. It was because of Melinda that Emily had forgiven him for lying about Pennilyn and because of Melinda that they even had a future together. And he had not been there for her funeral because of some stupid work obligation.

"I understand him now." Richard held her hand tightly in his own. "I don't think I've ever actually realized until this week that you might not always be here. It now seems absurd, but it never once crossed my mind that something could happen to you. I guess I just always assumed that I'd have you in my life forever."

"And you will," she smiled.

"I'm sorry, Emily, that I wasn't there." Emily wasn't following him anymore. "When she died, I wasn't there for you. I should have known that you weren't really as all right as you wanted me to think. I was so focused on myself and my work … like I always was."

"It was three years ago, Richard. I let go of a lot of things after our separation. They weren't as important as they had once been."

"There's just one thing…"

"What is it?" she asked, trying to push herself up and into a more comfortable position. Richard tried to help her and she finally found a comfortable way to sit. Her whole body was sore and stiff.

"I know that I promised you could go first, but I … I can't keep that promise, Emily. You're stronger than I am. You have Lorelai and Rory and so many friends. You'll be all right if I die, but I won't be if I ever lose you. This past week has been a nightmare. I don't know how I could ever manage without you. You can't die first."

Emily smiled. She let go of his hand and touched the side of his face. "All right," she whispered. "All right. I will go first … but not for a long time."

"Good." Richard leaned forward to kiss her. "I love you, Emily Gilmore."

"I love you, too," she smiled back. Emily had to blink away the tears that came to her eyes.

Richard smiled, kissing her again.

"Can you do something for me, Richard?" she asked.

"Anything."

"Can you find a way to get me out of here? I want to go home."


	15. Chapter 15

**Here is it – the final chapter. I just want to thank everyone who has read the story and enjoyed it. Whether you commented or not, I thank you for spending your time on me and my story. I hope you all have enjoyed it as much I as I enjoyed writing it. This is an idea that I wanted to see on the show when Richard had his second heart attack and so I decided to write it myself.**

**Finally, I want to express my eternal gratitude to Cira (SheilaBryant) for all of her fantastic advice and her many suggestions. She is a dream beta, always finding a way to make the story even better. I don't know how I would have done this story without her. I truly cannot thank her enough!**

**CHAPTER FIFTEEN**

It was now two days since Emily had woken up. She was in her hospital room talking with the orthopedic surgeon. Richard and Lorelai were waiting outside.

"Hey Dad …"

"Yes, Lorelai?" He looked over at his daughter.

"Would you change anything?" Lorelai asked. "About the past...?" She leaned her shoulder against the wall, facing her father.

Richard shook his head, a bit surprised by his daughter's forward question. This was still unfamiliar for them and their tense relationship. "No, I don't think I would. We all made a lot of mistakes, but I think that we have learned from them. I knew when I married your mother that my life would never be dull or boring. It may be cliché to say this, but I can't imagine a life that doesn't include you and your mother. And Rory, of course." He smiled. "It's all because of her that we're here today. She brought us all together again."

Lorelai nodded. "She's a great kid."

"Yes, she is," Richard agreed. "She's brought so much joy into your mother's and my life."

"You guys missed out on a lot," Lorelai sighed, looking down at her shoes.

"We did, but we were there for the most important moments. And we'll be there for the rest of our lives. That's what matters."

"How can you be so accepting of this, Dad?" She looked back up at him.

"It's all in the past, Lorelai. I realized one day that I've spent twenty years being upset about the life that you lost. Yet why should I be?" he asked. "You raised a fine young woman. You didn't go to an Ivy League school or become a judge or a doctor, but you did pretty good for yourself. You put yourself through college and you own a successful business. I've come to realize that I have no reason to be unhappy for you, Lorelai. Nor do I have any reason to mourn the life that you lost. You have a very good life that you have created all by yourself."

"I had a good life," she sighed, "until I screwed it up." She shook her head. "I wanted it to work with Chris. I really did."

"I know you did, Lorelai," he responded.

"I really thought we could make it work. We have so much history between us. It was always so easy in the past. No matter how much time had passed by we were always so compatible. It should have worked this time."

Richard watched her as she spoke, calculating his own response in his head. "It worked between you and Chris until you fell in love with someone else. I've never been that crazy about the idea of you and Luke. Yet he seems to be a decent man. He loves you and he loves Rory. I married a woman that my mother didn't like. She was absolutely certain that Emily was not the woman for me. Yet my parents were wrong about her and I am so grateful that I didn't listen to them. I suppose that I can't fault you for doing the same thing that I did."

"But Luke and I aren't getting married, Dad. It isn't like you and Mom. You didn't screw things up like I did."

"If you love this man, Lorelai, then don't give up without a fight."

Lorelai was about to respond when they were interrupted.

"Richard," Joshua called, opening the door to Emily's room. "Dr. Cahn is finishing up with Emily." He stepped outside the room.

"What did he have to say?" Richard asked. They had taken numerous x-rays of her arm and ankle earlier that day.

"He was able to realign some bones in her wrist. I'm surprised you didn't hear her screaming out here. I think she used curse words that I've never even heard before." Richard laughed. His wife was quite adept at expressing when she was in pain. "Her ankle seems to be healing, too. He walked around the room with her for a few minutes. She can hold up her weight and put pressure on the other leg to support herself. It is good that you got her out of bed last night and earlier this morning to build her strength. I think she'll be just fine by the time Rory graduates."

"That's great," Lorelai smiled. "Can she go home soon?"

Joshua nodded. "I think probably tomorrow."

"Wonderful!" Richard smiled. He had finally slept at home last night, but the house had felt too empty and quiet. He was looking forward to having his wife back. He just couldn't sleep well without her there. He had spent many sleepless nights out in the pool house during their separation. It wasn't until the night of their reunion that he finally got a decent night's sleep, though they didn't really sleep very much that night.

Dr. Cahn stepped out of the room. "You were right about her, Joshua. She's quite a woman," he agreed.

Joshua smiled. "I told you that she wouldn't be an easy patient."

"I don't think anyone has ever actually called me those names before," he laughed. "Not even when I was a doctor in the army and had to amputate with only local anesthesia."

"I think we missed out on the good stuff," Lorelai complained, "stuck out here in the hallway. We didn't hear anything."

"What are you all talking about out there?" Emily called after them. They all turned around to look at her.

"We're coming, dear." Richard shook Joshua's hand and then Dr. Cahn's, thanking him for coming by to see Emily on such short notice.

"Dad, why don't I go by the house and get a few things for Mom? I'm sure she'll want something to wear when she goes home. I've got a few errands to run, anyway."

"Of course, Lorelai." He looked down at his daughter's face. He could tell that she had a lot on her mind. This openness was new for them. And it still felt a bit awkward. "Thank you for everything you've done these past few days."

Lorelai smiled. "She's my mother. Where else would I be?"

"Richard … are you going to stand out there all afternoon?" Emily complained. He chuckled and watched for a second as his daughter walked off before going back into Emily's room. "Where is Lorelai?" she asked.

"She left to go by the house. I hear that you are going home tomorrow." Emily nodded. "I also hear that you were not the perfect patient for Dr. Cahn."

"The man grabbed my arm and jerked it like he was trying to pull it out of the socket. You can't just grab someone without warning. I don't think I've ever felt so much pain in my life."

"He did do his job, didn't he? Apparently you don't need surgery."

Emily huffed. "He could have at least warned me first." Richard bent down and kissed her on the forehead. "What was that for?" she asked.

"No reason. I just wanted to kiss my wife." He took his usual seat in the chair next to her bed.

"You and Lorelai looked like you were having a very serious conversation out there," she commented.

Richard nodded. "I think we're starting to understand each other. We're more alike than either of us ever realized."

"You've always been so alike in many ways. Sometimes I felt like an outsider with the two of you. You're both so intelligent and self-sufficient." Emily looked over at her husband. "I'm glad that I didn't ruin your chance to have a relationship with Lorelai and Rory."

"You've never ruined anything for me, Emily." He took her hand in his own, kissing it.

"I think we're going to be OK," she stated, "Lorelai and I. I don't remember too much about the time that I spent lying in your study. But I realized something." Emily looked up, into her husband's eyes. "I have so many memories of you and I and our life together. Enough to fill a lifetime with no regrets. Yet I don't have enough with Lorelai. It just feels like there is so much left between us. I don't want to lose her now that Rory is grown and we don't have a reason to see Lorelai anymore. I don't want to go back to only seeing her on major holidays and special occasions."

Richard squeezed her hand. "You'll find a way to stay in their lives," he reassured her. "And they'll find a way to stay in ours."

* * *

Lorelai walked into the diner. The place was empty as it was just between lunch and dinner. Luke looked surprised to see her. 

"Lorelai …"

Lorelai held up her hand. "Don't say anything." She took a deep breath. "I just … I just want to say I'm sorry. I pushed you too far and then I didn't give you a chance to think. I know that I ruined everything and that you may never be able to forgive me for sleeping with Chris, but I'm sorry. I'm truly sorry." She looked away for a second, focusing on the counter. "Seeing my father worrying about my mother these past few days and talking about how much she means to him has shown me that you only get that kind of love once. I used to think that Chris was that guy. He always seemed to be around. But I had no clue what was right in front of me. Chris wasn't the one who was always there for me. Chris wasn't the one who acted like a father to my kid. He wasn't there when Rory got the chicken pox. He wasn't there when my house needed repairs. He wasn't there when I needed someone. You were, Luke. You were always there for me. I had no idea that the man of my dreams was here all along and pouring my coffee every morning. Maybe it is too late for us, but you're the one, Luke. Whether or not you can ever forgive me or even think of taking me back, you're the one. That's never going to change. I don't know how to not have you in my life. Even if there is never anything more than friendship between us again, I will always love you, Luke." She looked up at him. He was staring at her with a blank expression. "I… I just wanted to say that." He didn't respond to her and after a few seconds of silence she took a deep breath and turned to leave.

"Do you want a cup of coffee?" he asked, setting a mug on the counter.

Lorelai turned around slowly to look at him. "That would be nice," she smiled.

* * *

"When are the girls coming over?" Emily asked as Richard helped her up the stairs. 

"Tomorrow evening when you are feeling better," he reminded her. She had already asked this question twice since they left the hospital. His hand rested on her back as she grasped the railing with her good hand. She was moving slow, but at least she was moving and basically on her own. Her ankle wasn't as bad as they had originally thought and the doctors presumed she would be walking without a limp in just a few weeks.

"I feel fine now, Richard. They could have come today."

"I think once you get upstairs you are going to find that you are quite tired, my dear," he argued. They finally reached the top of the stairs and Emily let out a sigh. It was much easier to walk on a flat surface.

It almost felt strange to enter their bedroom. It definitely felt like she had been gone longer than a week. Everything was the same, but she had somehow expected it to be different. It somehow felt different.

Richard guided her to the bed and sat her down. Emily lifted her legs onto the bed and stretched them out before her. She smiled as Richard sat down next to her.

"I think you're right," she admitted, laying her head back against one of the plush pillows. "I am tired."

"You must be," Richard chuckled lowly, "you don't usually admit I'm right so quickly."

"Don't expect it to last," she grinned, closing her eyes, her hand patting his knee absently.

"Why don't I help you change into something more comfortable?" Richard suggested.

"I'm too tired," she mumbled, her eyes still closed.

"At least let me help you take off your sweater. You're going to get hot up here."

Emily moaned, but Richard pulled her up, allowing her to lean against him. He slid the sling from around her neck and freed her arm. He then carefully extracted her from the sweater. She was barely awake as he put her arm back into the sling.

"Thank you," she mumbled as Richard placed her against the pillows.

He kissed her forehead and was about to stand up when she reached out to take his arm. "Stay with me," she asked, opening her eyes to look at him.

He smiled as she moved over, allowing him to lie down next to her. Richard slid his arms around her and she rested her head against his chest. Emily couldn't explain it, not even to herself. But she didn't want to be alone. She didn't want to go to sleep knowing that she might be alone when she woke up. For some reason she was afraid of going to sleep alone.

Richard looked down at his wife in his arms. He could see the very faint grey roots of her hair. It was something that only he saw. No one in the outside world ever saw his wife at less than perfect. She allowed no one except him to see her like that. He was the one that she had chosen. With him, she would let down her guard and admit that sometimes she needed someone else to take care of her and sometimes she wasn't always as perfect or strong as she pretended to be.

_His wife was lying in his arms, but she wasn't really there. She was gone. The woman that he had fallen in love with and that he had lived with for nearly twenty years now was gone. She was broken and he didn't know what to do to help her. He had thought that she would be better in a few days. Lorelai would return and they would get through their problems. Yet Lorelai didn't return and three weeks later it seemed as if she wasn't coming back. Rory was gone. All traces of her and Lorelai had been erased. The only reminder left was the room that Lorelai and Rory had once occupied. _

_She was lying in his arms, but she wasn't there._

Resting his head against Emily's, he drifted off to sleep.

* * *

Emily opened her eyes. It took her a second to realize where she was. She had to blink a few times to convince herself that it was real. She was at home. And she was in bed. Feeling Richard's arm draped across her made her smile. 

It wasn't easy to move out of his embrace without waking him up, yet she had learned how to do so after forty years of sleeping together. Emily took a deep breath, pushing herself up from the side of the bed. She wasn't tired anymore, just sore. She managed to make it to the door. Yet it was harder to get down the stairs by herself. She had to take each step individually and shift her weight to the stronger side of her body. Any other time she would have yelled at someone for putting their hands all over the walls, but it helped her to support herself as she made her way down to Richard's study. For some reason she couldn't stop herself from going in there. She wanted to see the room. Stopping in the hallway, she took a deep breath before continuing.

Emily reached out, the doorknob in her hand. She turned it slowly and pushed the door open. The room was dark, only lit by the bright moonlight that was coming in from the window. As she stood in the doorway, she forced herself to go inside. It wasn't a bad room. It didn't hold any bad memories. She could have fallen in any room in the house. It just happened to be this room. Finally, she reached for the light switch and illuminated the room in bright white light.

Spotting something lying on the floor she slowly crossed over to Richard's desk. It was her book. _Mrs. Dalloway_. It was still lying there on the floor. Emily slowly bent down to pick it up. Bending down was a bit painful, but she grasped the book and stood up straight again. If she stood really tall it almost felt like a strain on her muscles and it helped to block out the soreness. Opening the book, she flipped through the pages.

"What are you doing in here?" Richard asked, pushing the door open to see his wife standing at his desk, a book in her hands.

Emily was startled by the sound of her husband's voice. Her head snapped up as she looked towards the doorway. The book fell from her hands and she looked down as it tumbled to the floor. "I woke up and found myself coming down here," she explained, looking at Richard once again. Her heart was still beating faster than usual after being startled by her husband.

"You should have woken me up," he stated, walking towards her.

Emily shrugged, "I wanted to let you sleep. Apparently you've spent a week sleeping in a chair."

"You should have woken me. You could have hurt yourself coming down here," he scolded, standing in front of her.

"I'm not a child, Richard."

He stepped closer to her. "You just act like one sometimes, thinking you are invincible."

"If I were invincible, then I wouldn't have this," she lifted her arm slightly to show off her sling, her eyes darker than usual.

"If you weren't stubborn and impatient, then you wouldn't have scared your husband by spending a week in the hospital." He stood in front of her, looking down at her as he brushed his fingers across her cheek.

"Yes, but my husband wouldn't have realized how much he loves me and how much he would miss me, if I hadn't."

Richard lowered his head, unable to look at her.

"I'm sorry," Emily sighed. "I shouldn't have said that."

"No," he stated, looking back at her again. "You're right."

"I didn't mean it that way, Richard. I know you love me. You've always shown me how much you love me," she smiled.

Richard sighed, looking into her eyes. "I've been a fool, Emily."

She shook her head, but he wouldn't let her speak. "Let me finish," he spoke softly. Emily nodded slightly.

He took a step closer to her, running his hand down her arm, pausing for a moment before he continued. "You've always been here. Every time that I've ever needed anything, you've always done it without hesitation or without asking any questions. You've done what I wanted without complaining and even when it wasn't what you wanted to do. You put up with my mother looking down on you and criticizing you." Emily exhaled, looking away from him. "I spent so many years putting work and everything else ahead of you," he reached out his hand to cup the side of her face, forcing her to look at him again. "And now that it's the time in our lives when I can retire and spend more time with you, I'm working again and only thinking about myself and what makes me happy."

"Richard," she interrupted him. "I don't regret anything about our life together. And you shouldn't either."

He looked down at her, a smile spreading across his face. "I don't regret a single moment," he stated, bending his head down to kiss her gently.

"Let's just go to bed," Emily suggested as Richard slid his arm around her.

Exiting the study, he closed the door behind them. Emily laughed as Richard lifted her into his arms, ignoring her protests that he put her down.


	16. Epilogue

**Well, this is it. The very end of the story. Thanks for all the comments and I hope that you all have enjoyed it as much as I have. Once again, thanks to Cira for all her help!**

**EPILOGUE**

It's hard to believe that I will be seventy-five years old this fall. It's even harder to believe that my husband is nearing eighty. We both feel so young at heart, as contrite as it may sound. I sometimes look in the mirror and I'm surprised to see my reflection. I bet all women my age say that, but sometimes I can actually forget that I've been alive this long. Every time that I open the front door and find my daughter there my heart literally skips a beat. She is a fifty-four year-old woman. My daughter could be a member of the AARP. She hates to be reminded of that, but it's true.

The past fifteen years have gone by so quickly. I now have three grandchildren. We, of course, have our oldest, Rory. She's almost thirty-nine years old. I still think of her as the fifteen-year-old girl that sat at my dinner table on Friday nights. Yet she isn't a little girl any more. She's the mother of a little girl now. I thought it was a bit silly when she announced that she was going to follow tradition and also name her daughter Lorelai, but I now think that it's rather fitting.

"_Grandma ... Grandpa," Rory announced, looking from Emily's place next to her on the couch to where her grandfather was sitting in a nearby chair. "I want to give you guys something, but you have to open the boxes at the same time…"_

_Emily nodded, looking across the table at her husband who also nodded in agreement. _

_Taking the box from her granddaughter, Emily waited until Richard had his also. Slowly and carefully untying the bow, she lifted the lid. Inside was a framed photo. It only took her a second to understand the meaning of the framed ultrasound. You couldn't see anything in it but Emily's face lit up._

"_I'm having a baby," Rory announced, looking from her grandmother to her grandfather. Her smile was so bright that it was almost blinding._

"_A great-grandchild," Richard mused, too shocked to say anything else. His gaze traveled over to that of his wife, a smile upon his lips._

"_A great-grandchild," Emily repeated, looking down at the photo in her hands._

My other two grandchildren are much younger than Rory. They're eleven and nine. The eleven-year-old, Lucas, is the spitting image of his father. He even wears the baseball cap, which I always make him remove when he comes into our home. My youngest granddaughter looks even more like her mother than Rory. She has very dark hair and pale skin. She's extremely tall and thin. At nine-years-old she is a force to be reckoned with. I must admit that sometimes it makes me smile on the inside to see her exasperate Lorelai. It's a small victory for all those times that Lorelai defied me just for the sake of defying me.

"_Grandma," Laura whined, running into the living room where her grandmother and some friends were gathered._

"_Lucas told me that I can't play in Grandpa's study because he's playing in there but Grandpa told me I can play in there whenever I want." She stopped at her grandmother's side, out of breath from running._

_Emily turned to look at her granddaughter. Sometimes she swore that the girl was Lorelai. _

"_Tell your brother that I said you can both play in there," Emily soothed, tucking an errant strand of hair behind the girl's ear. _

"_Thanks, Grandma," Laura smiled, bending forward to kiss her Grandmother's cheek and hug her quickly. _

"_Lucas!" she screamed, "Grandma said …"_

_Emily turned to her friends, laughing as she heard Laura running down the hall, yelling out to her brother._

They still live in Star's Hollow, just not in the same house. The renovations finished when Lorelai and Luke finally married. The house was big enough for the two of them and even for the addition of Lucas. Yet when Lorelai learned she was pregnant for the third time the house was clearly too small for two adults and two children. It's funny how things work out. The house that Richard and I had planned on buying Lorelai and Luke when they were engaged the first time sold just a few months before their second engagement. Yet it went up for sale again just as Lorelai announced her second pregnancy. I didn't think that Luke would let us buy it for them, but we worked out an arrangement. They bought the house and as a belated wedding present we paid for all the renovations that were needed to fix the house.

"_So, what do you think?" Lorelai asked, standing in the front yard. _

"_Very nice," Richard smiled. "Quaint," he added, looking over the design of the house._

"_Let's go inside," Emily suggested, looking up at the arches and the shape of the roof._

_Lorelai glanced at Luke, winking as she walked past him. "I hope you like what your decorator did. We kind of had to tone down her style to make the house more like home for us …" she stated, leading them up the front stairs and reaching for the doorknob._

_Pushing the door open, she stepped back so that first her mother and then her father could enter. Luke slid his arm around Lorelai's waist, giving her a small squeeze as they walked inside. _

_Emily smiled, her head titled up as she looked at the ceiling and then scanned the room. "You did a lovely job, Lorelai. It truly looks like a home." She turned to look at her daughter who was grinning playfully at her husband._

_Lorelai looked in her mother's direction. "Thanks for everything, Mom," she smiled._

"_We'll make an appointment to talk about insurance next week?" Richard asked._

"_You're retired now, Dad …" He looked at her pointedly. "Yes, Dad, we'll make an appointment first thing Monday morning." _

_Richard nodded. "It is a lovely house, Lorelai."_

"_Do you want to see the upstairs?" Lorelai asked, moving out of Luke's embrace and towards the staircase. Her facial features lit up as she began to explain the architectural style of the upstairs living space to her mother._

_Luke looked towards Richard, the two of them trailing behind their wives. "We really appreciate everything you guys have done," Luke stated, reaching out to shake Richard's hand. _

I wouldn't say that Luke and I have a "good" relationship. We don't really spend that much time alone together. However, he's my son-in-law and the father of two of my grandchildren. I've learned to accept him as part of the family. He still owns the diner. Lorelai and Sookie still own the Inn. That's why it's so hard to believe that fifteen years have gone by. It seems as if nothing has changed.

"_Lorelai, we've had this discussion before," Emily sighed._

"_I'm sorry, but how can the plural of cul-de-sac be culs-de-sac?"_

"_It just is, Mom," Rory argued._

"_It sounds stupid," Laura interjected._

"_Do you even know what a cul-de-sac is?" Lucas asked in a mocking tone of voice._

"_Shut up," Laura spat._

"_Hey!" Lorelai snapped. "Don't talk to your brother like that."_

_Laura frowned, poking her piece of meat hard enough that the fork clinked against the plate and everyone looked up._

"_Ha," Lucas huffed._

_Lorelai's head shot up again as she glared at her son. Laura looked down at her plate, trying to hide her smile over her brother's silent scolding._

Well, one thing has changed. Lorelai and I have managed to come to an understanding. Our relationship is still nothing like hers and Rory's, but we don't fight as much as we used to. I think we've finally forgiven each other. She has given me the chance to be part of my grandchildren's lives, from the beginning this time. That's a gift that I will always cherish. For my part, I've learned to hold my tongue. I've learned to keep my thoughts to myself sometimes. If I feel the urge to tell her that she is doing something wrong or that she's just being ridiculous, I rarely express the sentiment. I must admit that it isn't always easy, but I remind myself that my daughter has accomplished quite a bit without my help. She's done very well for herself. So perhaps she doesn't always need my suggestions, even if they are from my heart.

"_Lorelai," Emily smiled, opening the front door. "What are you doing here?"_

"_I was in the neighborhood and I thought I'd drop by."_

_"Well, come in," Emily stated, moving out of the doorway. "Where are the kids?"_

"_Laura is at softball practice and Lucas is with his father."_

"_That's nice. You need a day to yourself sometimes." Emily closed the door, following her daughter to the living room._

"_Yep," Lorelai smiled, turning around to face her mother. "Are you hungry, Mom? There's apparently some new place around the corner that serves a fabulous lunch…"_

_Emily had to stop the confused look that was about to spread across her face. This still felt new, her daughter dropping by the house for no reason. It still felt strange and unfamiliar. Yet it felt good too. It felt like the way things were supposed to be._

I look across the dinner table at my husband. We have to extend the table on Fridays to fit the family. There are now nine of us. We don't have dinner together every Friday, but at least once a month. As I sit around the table with my family I always remember the first dinner that we had when Rory was fifteen. That was twenty-two years ago. It still feels like yesterday – only this time I know that dinner won't end with a fight.


End file.
